Tag Archives: Pain

The Miseducation of the misunderstood

The Miseducation of the misunderstood

Harbors overwhelming anxiety

Which creates layers underneath the shell

Always home like tortoise, but

I am a nomad in my own body.

The feeling of loneliness sets in every time one of my personalities decide to leave.

I am wandering

Invested in a venture that is company to misery.

I declare communicative bankruptcy.

Do me the service of sending all my messages

This misinterpreted status will be one for the books.

Face it —

Who are we without the royalties in freedom of speech?

Too many unwritten rights you have, that wasn’t taught to me.

Do you know me?

Do I know you?

How valuable is identity to a thief?

The only benefit in this hijacking

Is the doubt that you will actually understand that…

I volunteered, but I never asked.

Never raised my hand in class.

So many questions that still need an answer

So many answers that should be questions.

What will be the solution?

It seems I’m the problem.

I am a weapon – non lethal

A dangerous mind shooting stars

Trynna reach the moon, cause I was told that’s as far as love can go.

I am a victim of time!

Trapped behind the bars in the same cage the bird sung.

Those melodies still linger.

The ink blots begin to show.

I think it’s bleeding through!

I use to dream in cursive until…

Murder she wrote.

Now it’s killing me softly.

The standard is to understand

The extreme is to overstep.

The Miseducation of the misunderstood can’t be taught only felt.

-Leighrick

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Everything is Black

Everything is black —

I can’t remember much

Just the touch of the Angels that’s helping me up.

Looking at my stiffened body is chilling.

As I

Throw my head back – the smoke has me ascending.

Deep breathes spread the embers that keep my soul lit.

I wander

I find myself walking towards the light with a regrettable peacefulness.

The roots have been spoiled with magic and shaded by myths.

Is this a test?

A trust testament of my growth or just the repercussions of my actions.

I am at a loss for words, incomplete sentences like ad-libs.

I am wondering.

Searching for the nouns like symbols and the beats of adjectives like mad-lib.

I am running.

Racing my shadow like I’ve rescued my inner child.

Now we’re crying so hysterically it turns into laughter.

And then…

Everything is black.

-Leighrick

A Natural Disaster

Should I have assumed this was quicksand?

I’ve always been intrigued by the gentleness of the beach.

Upon my arrival, the land was dry

My tears reached the surface and my breaths shortened.

I looked down…I am drowning,

Treading through thoughts of my own anxiety.

This could be considered a natural disaster.

Trying to hold on…just hold on….

Just save me but sacrifice yourself.

-Leighrick

The Last Train, Until…

Picture ya life on the subway –
Labeled a runaway.
Always taught to chase dreams, but catching them was never imagined.
On the train til infinity, where every malfunction exceeds a boundary.
The sky ain’t the limit, its the ticket.
What’s the difference?
I can see beyond the colors of the prism.
I have touched many moons.
Floating – weightless –
Patient.
Healing myself, still doctoring the wounds from when they severed the ties to my portal.
The only home I’ve known, now it just seems as if love don’t live here no more…
So I roam.
Telling the streets my secrets.
Leaving tattoos when I spit the words penetrate the skin.
The concrete cracks.
A Rose emerges.
The train door closes before I even look back…
I pricked myself on the thorns, I wail as the horn sounds…I realize
My overstanding reality is under attack.
-Vigilant Leighrick

Broken Open

Still in a room,
A broken mirror reflects flawless smiles of all those that once stared before it.
Gleaming eyes looking for themselves in fragments of light.
I can’t yet see through.

Walking…
My tears and the street lights create stained glass.
Looking at memories abandoned in pictures, and the pain that is sheltered, buried, and concealed in temples.

Implicitly.

Shattered and now broken open.

I pick up the pieces with the roughest edges first.
I cut myself — countless times.

It hurts not to scream!
As a child you are taught that silence is comforting,
Explicitly a fools gold, a dastardly violence.

The blood has been contaminated with secrecy.
Life’s own mystery;
What good is the knowledge of hystori if the truth never gets told?

Exposed.
Undressing wounds
I see myself in rare form….beautiful….
Vulnerable.

This bigger picture envisioned is actually a puzzle;
we are each others pieces.
There are no borders, filters, nor frames….
Regardless not everyone fits, still you are..

Limitless…

-Leighrick

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Immaculate

People can’t smell their own shit, like they have something up their noses.
They don’t even bother to flush the toilet.
That stench could make this whole place a hazard zone.

Danger! Danger!
Read all about it.
There’s knives in backs, children slain, and money missing out of wallets.

These mask are impeccable,
Who are the cosmetologist?
Quite plastic you are, because you don’t feel a thing.
Your smile is misery’s company.

Am I your pain medicine?
When you’re in pain, you use me, and abuse me.
Leaving me clueless & empty.
Vacant like the lots that surround our inner cities.

In the shadows of the Hollywood lights –
Do the people who don’t have property own the streets?
Is this War?

I have the wounds of a warrior,
Inexperienced thoughts of being ready for the battle,
I fought back.
Revealing contusions deeper than war trenches
Gladly spirits cannot be paralyzed.

Surely they can be idle.

Fairytale endings don’t exist in this nightmare.
I told you I’d never leave you, and you abandoned me.

I guess along with misery, vanity is your companion, because
They are the only things that seem to last.
In this material world,
where wearing aura isn’t fashionable, but
Madonna’s doing something right.

Danger! Danger!
Read all about it
There’s parent-less children, starving countries, corruption in knowledge, and abuse of power!

Why should we pay to go to college?
I am the future – learn to invest in tomorrow.
Keep trying to drink from the fountain of youth,
When did it become so hard to swallow?
You’ve been marinating for some years,
Give thanks for the time borrowed.

Like napkins you can’t give it back, at least not the way you received it.
All these preconceived beliefs of what it means to be immaculate.

Days have elapsed.
Ive been pregnant with this piece.

I don’t know about you, but I came out the womb screaming!
Hanging by a thread, they cut, without my permission.
I was covered in blood, they could’ve gave me a few more minutes,
Before cutting off my oxygen, my food supply, and my mother & I’s connection.

So you see, you cant get clean, if you haven’t been dirty.
And just because your standing now, doesn’t mean that you are sturdy.
Unless you’re a palm tree?
Deceivingly slim surprisingly strong.

I use to think the dews on grass were tears from the trees, because they were lonely.

Danger! Danger!
Read all about it.
Don’t follow the shadows they can’t see where they’re headed.
The blind leading the blind is a misconception.

My pen is my weapon,
That only spreads love.
[t]HUG LIFE!
Every stranger could use one.

-Leighrick

Pain I Can Touch

I cut my hand on the bus today,

accidentally on purpose.

I cannot explain to you

how elated I was

and think you’d be able to fathom it.

 

I mean,

I was able to feel pain.

For those of you who

think this is about me being “emotionally numb“,

….

….

You’re wrong.

 

I am happy,

Finally…

Finally I feel a pain

I can do something about.

I can see it, touch it, and I can nurture it.

 

 

I rushed home,

instead of grabbing the alcohol,

I grabbed the peroxide,

Washed my hands twice,

and applied an even coat of Neosporin.

 

I dropped everything when I entered my room.

I laid on my bed, staring at in awe of my palm.

I cannot stop smiling.

 

Finally,

I have been hurt, but

I can do something about it.

 

 

I can see the wound,  putting a band-aid for comfort.

I can watch my bodies progression, as the new skin arrives,

reminding me that this pain is only temporary.

 

Overjoyed that I remember my blood is red and not black.

I guess you can say,

it cut me on the right hand,

but really…

it did.

 

This pain influenced this poem, so I took some advice and

 

I

Showed

My

Pain.

 

-Leighrick