Tag Archives: Insomnia

Happy Anniversary

I can’t eat.
I can’t sleep.

I don’t eat…

Eye won’t sleep.

I can break through.

First I need to break
I need a break, though
Eye persevere through the struggles and the pain.

Hidden fears captivate my name.
“I Love You”
Let it roll off the tongue like the blood from a blade.

It gets deep.
The climb to the pinnacle gets steep when the bottom been feelin you.

Point of view – bird’s eye.

Listen – Immerse yourself in your tears
As the rain drowns the interlude.

Perspective – Retrospective

My Life
A Masterpiece,
A beautiful disaster.

Inside flawlessly imperfect
Outside impeccably misleading.

LOOK!
Better yet…
SEE!

Eye keep the light with me like a lantern.
Eye keep the dark in me like an urn.

Death to the Ego.

Don’t look down
Feet are the seeds that refuse leave the ground.
The roots set me free when the seasons change…
Leaves fall far from the tree decorating my quest

Discovering Love – Things Fall Apart
Lost Love is never easily forgotten..

“Surrender!”
“Don’t Say Nuthin’!”

Grammy told me she love’s me.
My Isis sing
“Wake Up!” “Shine!”

Black Thoughts
Black Heart
Black Love.
Traveling Time…

Perspective – Prospective

My Life
A Masterpiece,
A beautiful disaster.

Inside flawlessly imperfect
Outside impeccably misleading.

LOOK!
Better yet…
SEE!

Eye am divine.
Eye am the cosmos.
Eye am alive.

Eye am a Life.
Living – Breathe – Loving – Being

Stretching my palms to the most high
Within a clinch –
This world is mine!
This world in my mind.
You can’t imagine the images that are constantly rerun.

Chasing Dreams.

Visions get tangled with expectations and concealed in doubt.

I’ve been loving people for centuries.
I’ve been looking for a lifetime.

Finally I adore my own reflection…..

-Vigilant LeighrickAscending

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The Last Train, Until…

Picture ya life on the subway –
Labeled a runaway.
Always taught to chase dreams, but catching them was never imagined.
On the train til infinity, where every malfunction exceeds a boundary.
The sky ain’t the limit, its the ticket.
What’s the difference?
I can see beyond the colors of the prism.
I have touched many moons.
Floating – weightless –
Patient.
Healing myself, still doctoring the wounds from when they severed the ties to my portal.
The only home I’ve known, now it just seems as if love don’t live here no more…
So I roam.
Telling the streets my secrets.
Leaving tattoos when I spit the words penetrate the skin.
The concrete cracks.
A Rose emerges.
The train door closes before I even look back…
I pricked myself on the thorns, I wail as the horn sounds…I realize
My overstanding reality is under attack.
-Vigilant Leighrick

Broken Open

Still in a room,
A broken mirror reflects flawless smiles of all those that once stared before it.
Gleaming eyes looking for themselves in fragments of light.
I can’t yet see through.

Walking…
My tears and the street lights create stained glass.
Looking at memories abandoned in pictures, and the pain that is sheltered, buried, and concealed in temples.

Implicitly.

Shattered and now broken open.

I pick up the pieces with the roughest edges first.
I cut myself — countless times.

It hurts not to scream!
As a child you are taught that silence is comforting,
Explicitly a fools gold, a dastardly violence.

The blood has been contaminated with secrecy.
Life’s own mystery;
What good is the knowledge of hystori if the truth never gets told?

Exposed.
Undressing wounds
I see myself in rare form….beautiful….
Vulnerable.

This bigger picture envisioned is actually a puzzle;
we are each others pieces.
There are no borders, filters, nor frames….
Regardless not everyone fits, still you are..

Limitless…

-Leighrick

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Forget to Remember

To forget is to remember, because you’re always going to make sure you don’t bring up the forbidden. Then it haunts and taunts you, but it’s not really there; though its ever present. On the other hand, you don’t remember, remember you forgot, about that one time you wished was never made a memory.
Now it’s history, playing the leading roll as the extra that shouts during a silent film. Bothersome, a smile is usually a cure, these thoughts are even more minuscule when I laugh.
What’s on my mind? I’ve told you this story a thousand times, or maybe that was the one about when I was 11. I forgot I promised myself I wouldn’t tell anyone, except the first person I see if I ever made it to Heaven.
I was thinking all of this when I was 7. 13 years later, wait…..what was I just writing about? I realize I’m looking in the mirror — wait….what am I crying about?
This isn’t really considered lying, if no one ever knows the truth. It’s not your apologue to pick and choose a heroine! I do what I feel is best, and from experiences we grow and come to gain knowledge.
At a young age wisdom pierced through my gums trying to break the silence, and instead of removing the pain, I embraced it.
I’ve been a victim of violence, I’ve been a master of persuasion. I’ve sacrificed my self for love and repeatedly been heartbroken by patience.
No medication, only Meditation.
On occasions I sit and reminisce about the memories I forget, write about them, and then burn the pages…..
I sit —
damn, what was I going to say again?

-Leighrick

Lazy Lids

Holding up lazy lids are tired eyes.
Behind the tired eyes is a racing mind.
In the being of a mental giant.
Who isn’t compliant, but vigilant.
Their weakness is their strength.
Love.
the scent sweeter than flowers,
Attracting caterpillars,
Digesting laughter that melts deep into the stomach and gives life to butterflies.
In an instant these feelings can corrode the heart.
Too many smiling faces, can’t seem to tell them apart.
Unless its by the role they’ve assumed, now you’ve become the ass, but never wanted to play in the first place.
Ain’t nothing wrong with losing….sometimes.
Leighrick

Open

Open

I am just trying to get some sleep! A little bit of peace, without the ghetto birds humming, while I’m trying to put my mind at ease.
Now I know why it’s called slumber, cause I’m slumped under these covers, trying to recreate the sound thunder into soft waves that glide up and caress sand. Trying to find my space, in a place unknown to the famished cats and prostitutes. Even if I tried to rest, I can’t help but hear the city crying. So instead I’ll say a prayer, and lend my shoulders. Lay here and envision a community healing the torn streets, hearts, families, and believe that in the mirror that smile is the change I’m starting to see.
I digress- the wait of the world.
Uplifting me.
Chuckling as my eyes get heavy.
This was the missing piece,
The remedy, I must
Be.

Who Needs Sleep?

Instead of sleeping I think.
Conversing with my Conscience.
rekindling memories and setting ablaze doubts.
I am the smile and the frown, together
Shaping beauty.
Jaded compliments, opening old wounds
Tho deceptive as the skin may be,
The density of my bones, upholds a heavy spirit.
A paradox.
It beams light, and eases darkness.
Breaching the infrastructure of this tale, it’s growing
Rooted so far down the sky becomes the ground, and
My solar plexus houses the blueprints of galaxies.
Invisible to looking eyes.
Tap into the 3rd frequency, and see
Wisdom is heard in the whispers.
Instead of sleeping I think.
Imagining my own colors,
Sanding a frame of sizable impression for masterpieces.
Empathy is kept safe in the right atrium’s, saving what’s left for the ventricles.
I found love on a two way street,
Sitting at the crossroads.
Lotus Pose.
Unlocking the gift to
Be.
Willing…
Knowingly….
Instead of sleeping, I think.

-Leighrick

Curiosity Misery’s Company (09-11-09)

My misery’s curiosity still lies behind these walls.

The yelling and the screaming continues to echo throughout the hallways.

That’s all I’m able to hear.

I don’t think I need glasses anymore, because now I can see straight through people.

Time must be moving quickly, because I feel my hair graying,

My heart aches from the stitches, that aren’t even really mending it back together, there only for show.

My souls still searching for the answers, and the souls of the rest of the lost ones.

They took a piece of me, He snatched the peace from around my neck.

I can only guess my audience is aware of the dramatic irony.

Damn, its been 10 months, and I still cant understand.

The dust has been settled, it has been swept under the rug, but even still this hasn’t become clean to me.

The feelings still linger this just isn’t the place for me to be,

a house is not a home, but I’m just trynna figure out where I’m supposed to be.

Double standards, insecurities, lies, and religion – eventually will become the death of me.

Why did she stop Goliaths hand, what would J–, never mind.

What would you have done in my situation?

He PUSHED and I prayed and still nothing happened.

 Kisses on my forehead could never erase this memory.

I’m just glad to know that I got some people here for me.

I thought it was snowing in hell, when I saw who caused my cell phone to ring.

And now I’m sitting here staring at the ceiling.

 I am Lonely.

 I’m confined to this room, I don’t want to step outside because I feel them watching me.

Cant close my eyes because my brain projects the incident repeatedly upon my eye lids.

I can’t sleep

My stomachs in pain — I can’t eat...

I won’t drink.

I cant think — without hurting & dropping tears left and right.

After this, I don’t think I have any fears, I only live everyday knowing ..

 Fact: People aren’t obligated to you love you.

  -The End.

 –Leighrick

Mirrored Silouhettes [pt2]

I’m falling back but I don’t feel anyone behind me. Im trying break my fall but I’m breaking every other bone in the process.

 

My mind is trying to process these thoughts, separate the good from the bad.

 

Trying to decipher the tears from the smiles. And the confusion from the laughter.

 

Life’s taking:

the Sweetness out my Satisfaction.

the Dreams out of my Sleep.

 

Its safe to say…

I’m lost. I’m misunderstood.

I don’t know what to do

for myself, but

I continuously do for others.

 

I know what I want.

I yearn for what I need.

I am thankful for what I have…maybe I am selfish,

because…THAT’S STILL NOT ENOUGH.

 

I wish people could just read my mind.

The good and the bad thoughts.

I wish people could just see what I see.

The potential and the fuck ups.

 

I just want to find me.

I am surround with people that adore me.

Yet

I haven’t found me and accepted myself for what I see, acknowledging what I want to be,

Go to sleep.

&&

GET THE FUCK OVER IT…..

because its KILLING ME.

 

-Leighrick

Good Night to Your Good Morning

The sun is my kiss goodnight.

The birds are my lullaby.

I thought I shut all doors and windows,

but stealthier than the I air breathe,

Insomnia crept upon me an suffocated my pillow with my thoughts.

Wrapped with blanket of restlessness,

The birds continually ease my soul in to slumber,

and as I fade, the Sun gently kisses my forehead,

My deprivation tucks me in, and I sleep…like a baby,

Until a couple of hours pass, and I wake up again

I look out the window, and the Sun has been screaming —

Leighrick..we’ve missed you.

-Leighrick