The Miseducation of the misunderstood

The Miseducation of the misunderstood harbors overwhelming anxiety; which creates layers underneath the shell.

Always home like a tortoise, but I am a nomad in my own body.

The feeling of loneliness sets in every time one of my personalities decide to leave.

I am wandering

Invested in a venture that is company to misery.

I declare communicative bankruptcy.

Do me the service of sending all my messages, subliminally. This misinterpreted status will be one for the books.

Face it —

Who are we without the royalties in freedom of speech?

Too many unwritten rights you have, that wasn’t taught to me.

Do you know me?

Do I know you?

How valuable is identity to a thief? The only benefit in this hijacking is the doubt you will finally understand that…

I volunteered, but I never asked.

Never raised my hand in class.

So many questions that still need an answer

So many answers that should be questions.

What will be the solution?

It seems I’m the problem.

I am a weapon – non lethal

A dangerous mind shooting stars

Trynna reach the moon, cause I was told that’s as far as love can go.

I am a victim of time!

Trapped behind the bars in the same cage the bird sung.

Those melodies still linger.

The ink blots begin to show.

I think it’s bleeding through!

I use to dream in cursive until…

Murder she wrote.

Now it’s killing me softly.

The standard is to understand

The extreme is to overstep.

The Miseducation of the misunderstood can’t be taught only felt.

-Leighrick

Broken Pedestals

Don’t lose sight of the light.
I close both my eyes, but
Leave the third one open-wide.
Absorbing and Transforming,
Life is a canvas already been painted on; which color will you use to highlight the accents?
How many ways can I contrast the madness?
We are often too busy adding structure to the broken pedestals that once seated those you placed highly.
Deceived if depth can’t be seen without views of the horizon.
Still can’t hear me yelling – only seeing me naked.
This one really speaks to me…
Eye can’t teach them to listen.
Splatter paint like emotion wherever I go.
The world is my canvas. I create in the shadows.
Wash that mask, under that mask, beneath the skin.
Peel the flesh back like old pages.
This book is blank just like the canvas.
Invisible ink disguised as experience.
Squeeze the color out my veins, and witness the light ooze through pores.
Decorating the pews they are glued to.
Stained with the truth not illustrated on the glass.
Looking out the window is living in the past.
Breaking that window is living.
I’m breaking my silence how trees uproot sidewalks.
I belong in the street.
Driving myself crazy, playing hide-n-go-seek with self-identity.
Don’t be lazy.
Chasing my tears to the waterfall of my dreams.
Flowing…
Now I’m glowing..
I stay woke.

-Leighrick

The Last Train, Until…

Picture ya life on the subway –
Labeled a runaway.
Always taught to chase dreams, but catching them was never imagined.
On the train til infinity, where every malfunction exceeds a boundary.
The sky ain’t the limit, its the ticket.
What’s the difference?
I can see beyond the colors of the prism.
I have touched many moons.
Floating – weightless –
Patient.
Healing myself, still doctoring the wounds from when they severed the ties to my portal.
The only home I’ve known, now it just seems as if love don’t live here no more…
So I roam.
Telling the streets my secrets.
Leaving tattoos when I spit the words penetrate the skin.
The concrete cracks.
A Rose emerges.
The train door closes before I even look back…
I pricked myself on the thorns, I wail as the horn sounds…I realize
My overstanding reality is under attack.
-Vigilant Leighrick

Broken Open

Still in a room,
A broken mirror reflects flawless smiles of all those that once stared before it.
Gleaming eyes looking for themselves in fragments of light.
I can’t yet see through.

Walking…
My tears and the street lights create stained glass.
Looking at memories abandoned in pictures, and the pain that is sheltered, buried, and concealed in temples.

Implicitly.

Shattered and now broken open.

I pick up the pieces with the roughest edges first.
I cut myself — countless times.

It hurts not to scream!
As a child you are taught that silence is comforting,
Explicitly a fools gold, a dastardly violence.

The blood has been contaminated with secrecy.
Life’s own mystery;
What good is the knowledge of hystori if the truth never gets told?

Exposed.
Undressing wounds
I see myself in rare form….beautiful….
Vulnerable.

This bigger picture envisioned is actually a puzzle;
we are each others pieces.
There are no borders, filters, nor frames….
Regardless not everyone fits, still you are..

Limitless…

-Leighrick

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[My] Prince Matthew Jaden

July 14, 2011

[6]

My Prince
When I look into your eyes
I see nothing but pure innocence.
Never change not in morals but flourish in wisdom while you grow.

My Prince
Education is the main priority.
So be sure to maintain that GPA or Im sure moms will discipline you.
And I know as you sit there enjoying SpongeBob Square Pants –
I Know as your sitting on my lap and resting your head against my chest,
Your mind is consuming all the love I have for you.

My Prince
When I see you I smile
I go through slideshows of pictures and videos when I am away
just to see that smile…and that attitude when it decides to show itself.
Playing with you, I slip in encouragements and inspiration,
So that when you grow up Confidence is natural but so is being Humble.

I remember Saturday mornings I would rock you to sleep,
my little Einstein, ironic you never slept during that cartoon.

My Prince
I know you will make me proud.
Remember to let your Imagination flow and your Creativity Explode,
Born with natural rhythm let your deepest aspirations guide you on the path to your ever-so bright future
and remember to teach these values and morals to your little sister.
Protect Her.
Although she may be a pain now, I see in those almond eyes the love you have for one another.

My Prince
Accept that mistakes will be made, just be sure to learn from them.
Forgive and have Faith, but never be ignorant to your intuition.

And

My Prince
If Im gone by the time you are able to comprehend this
Keep this poem close to your heart, and know Im still beside you.
I will watch over you, and guide you.
I will remain in your heart
I thank God everyday for giving Life to you.

And in my absence
temporary or permanent
I may not be showering you with aesthetic gifts,
but with love and acceptance
for the Man you will become.

My Prince
If you need me
Shout my name silently in your thoughts, and while you are active
I will creep up on you like the sandman and comfort you in your thoughts.
You may not know if I was there, and wondering when I came….

My Prince
You and your sister hold my most sacred possession,
My Heart.

So every time you feel an unfamiliar but glowing warmth overwhelm your heart, and you cant resist to smile or giggle,
Relax…Thats just Auntie whispering she’ll always love you.

My Prince
Your throne awaits you…
and if you so happen to miss the seat,
Auntie will be right there to lift you up, dust you off,
telling you to keep trying.

Always know that this poem doesnt even resemble a quarter of my undying love for you.

-Leighrick

Back to the Basics

Back to the Basics

Because it seems I lost my way

Trying to make sense of cents

But poets never get cents from

Those who need to pay attention

They’d rather give up all sense of dignity

By emulating these rap artist that can’t

Even make sense of there own lives as they babble

And yet here you are listen looking like a senseless asshole

But all you can say is listen to that beat

Back to the basics

In the middle of my own

Journey to self enlightenment I came

To a point of confusing this dark place filled

With illusions of real friends and money

I had lost myself in a pile of bullshit

Thinking if I dig deeper I can dig my way out

But instead I end up behind bars

Next to another girl with a bloody nose

Where am I?

Who are the fuck are you?

When did you get here?

And when did I get here?

I ask myself this as I look in a mirror

So dirty I can only see a reflection of

the outline of my face.   

Symbolically this is exactly how I felt

Finally I seen that this is not me

This is not Candace.

Just a poser

So I beat her down.

Wounded and weak I

Finish her off

My mental Coup de grace

Freeing me of this abyss of ignorance.

Back to the basics

Walking cautiously

The city I call home.

On my way to making myself a better woman

But this ride, this walk, this journey is because

I am going back to me

I missed you did you miss me?

The simplicity of me

The one who saw beauty in the

dirtiest of Sidewalks

I said what I want not caring about what others thought

Back to basics

Back to me

Candace.

I’m the sarcastic

Conscious young woman with

Wisdom to give and wisdom to gain

I am on my journey back to me

Leighrick

The Tree That Fell in the City

I’m about as ungrateful as impatient can get me.

The type that forgets hospitals exist when I am sick.

And often times, I wish there was only 6.

Like maybe there’d be some balance if the odd didn’t exist.

Fixated on my crowded loneliness.

Wiping my tears as I reminiscence.

Trying to find the “I” in dependent, bout as hard as it gets.

So I sip & I twist.

 

I have dwelled with the premature & tolerated pre-Madonnas.

I’ve disguised my pride and dressed my thoughts.

Been on the same page as many, but rarely ever the same book.

I have mistaken blessings for a curses.

Let go of my ego for equality,

Breaking fast for fallen soldiers in the army of humanity, in the war of morality.

Experienced the experiment of genocide.

Ive stayed inside to hide, then stood tall when no one was around.

Smiled, when inside it’s a frown.

Often –

I walk with my head down.

 

Until then,

The pen personifies my motives.

The paper organizes my thoughts into origami, shifting shapes into my alter persona.

A schizophrenic Gemini, filled with personality, conflicted by decision.

I put my hand up for a time-out but this motion picture, illiterate to intermissions.

Ticketed oppression.

 

I digress.

Throw my hands up in confession

I’m not who you think I am!” —

My soul goes deeper than my reflection.

Complacency is more effortless than depression.

Independence has a currency, Protection.

 

Some say, “Money makes the world go ’round“, but

Its a recession.

So has the world withheld movement?

Funny we think it revolves around us, but

We’re no where close to the moon.

See the solar system?

In my souls there’s a system,

Replace uncertainty with Faith.

Everything lives & everyone dies.

 

You see,

This world might seem cold, and soon these storm clouds will turn to rain.

Meaning — I am the sun that will shine,

As you fret and precipitate, my words will ease the pain.

For every smile there’s 100 times the drops of rain.

So plant your seed, and let the roots dig deeper than what the eyes can see, the hand can touch, and the heart can feel.

Become one with your growth, but never be the one to cut down a tree.

Just because their still doesn’t mean they don’t scream.

….

Did you hear it?

 

-Leighrick