Everything is Black

Everything is black —

I can’t remember much

Just the touch of the Angels that’s helping me up.

Looking at my stiffened body is chilling.

As I

Throw my head back – the smoke has me ascending.

Deep breathes spread the embers that keep my soul lit.

I wander

I find myself walking towards the light with a regrettable peacefulness.

The roots have been spoiled with magic and shaded by myths.

Is this a test?

A trust testament of my growth or just the repercussions of my actions.

I am at a loss for words, incomplete sentences like ad-libs.

I am wondering.

Searching for the nouns like symbols and the beats of adjectives like mad-lib.

I am running.

Racing my shadow like I’ve rescued my inner child.

Now we’re crying so hysterically it turns into laughter.

And then…

Everything is black.

-Leighrick

A Strangers Greatest Gift

People can’t smell their own shit, like they have something up their noses.
They don’t even bother to flush the toilet.
That stench could make this whole place a hazard zone.

Danger! Danger!
Read all about it.
There’s knives in backs, children slain, and money missing out of wallets.

These mask are impeccable,
Who are the cosmetologist?
Quite plastic you are, because you don’t feel a thing.
Your smile is misery’s company.

Am I your pain medicine?
When you’re hurting, you use me, and abuse me.
Leaving me clueless & empty.
Vacant like the lots that surround our inner cities.

In the shadows of the Hollywood lights –
Do the people who don’t have property own the streets, or is this war?

I have the tattoos of a warrior,
Inexperienced perceptions of being ready for the battle,
I fought back.
Revealing contusions deeper than trenches
Thankfully, spirits cannot be paralyzed.

But surely they can be idle.

Fairy tale endings don’t exist in this nightmare.
I told you I’d never leave you, and you abandoned me.

I guess along with depression, vanity is your companion, because
They are the only two things that seem to last in this material world
where wearing aura isn’t fashionable, but
Lady Gaga’s doing something right.

Danger! Danger!
Read all about it
There’s parent-less children, starving countries, corruption in knowledge, and misuse of power!

Why should we pay to go to college if I am the future?
People should learn to invest in tomorrow.

Trying to drink from the fountain of youth,
When did it become so hard to swallow?

You’ve been marinating for some years,
Give thanks for the time borrowed.

Like napkins you can’t give it back, at least not the way you accepted it.
What do all these preconceived beliefs of being immaculate mean?

Days continue to elapse.
I’ve been pregnant with this piece.

I don’t know about you, but I came out the womb screaming!
“PEACE!”
Hanging by a thread they cut without my permission.
I was covered in blood, they should’ve gave me a few more minutes
Before cutting off my oxygen, my food supply…..most importantly my mother & I’s connection.

So you see, you cant get clean, if you haven’t been dirty.
And just because you’re standing now, doesn’t mean that you are sturdy.
Unless you’re a palm tree?
Deceivingly slim, surprisingly strong.

I use to think the dew on grass were tears from trees, because they were lonely.

Danger! Danger!
Read all about it.
Don’t follow the shadows, they can’t see where they’re headed.
The blind leading the blind is a misconception.

My pen is my weapon,
That only spreads love.
HUG LIFE!
Every stranger could use one.

Vigilant Leighrick

Broken Open

Still in a room,
A broken mirror reflects flawless smiles of all those that once stared before it.
Gleaming eyes looking for themselves in fragments of light.
I can’t yet see through.

Walking…
My tears and the street lights create stained glass.
Looking at memories abandoned in pictures, and the pain that is sheltered, buried, and concealed in temples.

Implicitly.

Shattered and now broken open.

I pick up the pieces with the roughest edges first.
I cut myself — countless times.

It hurts not to scream!
As a child you are taught that silence is comforting,
Explicitly a fools gold, a dastardly violence.

The blood has been contaminated with secrecy.
Life’s own mystery;
What good is the knowledge of hystori if the truth never gets told?

Exposed.
Undressing wounds
I see myself in rare form….beautiful….
Vulnerable.

This bigger picture envisioned is actually a puzzle;
we are each others pieces.
There are no borders, filters, nor frames….
Regardless not everyone fits, still you are..

Limitless…

-Leighrick

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Coroner on the Corner

This one here is for
The little boy in the corner,
The little boy on the corner,
The little boy in the coroner,

The man in the mirror is
some bodies little boy, somebodies little boy.

Crying shame,
Try Finding strength.
Crying bullets, not in range, but enraged.
No tears at all, because no bodies there to catch them
Nobody is here to listen.

Foreign to intuition.
Imperiled by institutions.

You said you had my back, but them you caught me with a knife.

This one here is for
The little boy in the corner,
The little boy on the corner,
The little boy in the coroner,

The man in the mirror is
some bodies little boy, somebodies little boy.

Idle body.
Absent mind.
Hidden in the darkness.
Played follow the leader and was misguided.

This is for you kid!

All through life you grow up hearing,
“Don’t do anything stupid”
But in every experience you obtain knowledge.

Lend them your soles to walk in, so
They may feel the exhaustion, and
Be aware of the mileage.
Only look back to see how far you’ve come, then
Keep moving forward.

This one here is for
The little boy in the corner,
The little boy on the corner,
The little boy in the coroner,

The man in the mirror is
some bodies little boy, somebodies little boy.

Life seemed so simple, when you use to play with toys
Now some of these toys make a much different noise.
That can take time away in the form of lives.
That cannot be reborn, because this is not a video game.

A spectator let loose in a playas game..

This one here if for
The little boy who needs his mamas kiss,
The little boy who needs his fathers attention.
The little boy who yearns for love and affection.

From the cradle to the grave

Pour out a little liquor, keep swallowing the pain.

this little boy looking in the mirror trying to teach himself to be a man.
How to withstand the loneliness by himself, looking for a shoulder to lean on.
The ridicule of the free man telling him to jump, but he knows
Deep inside he hasn’t felt his wings growin’.

Be in control of emotions.
Retain focus.
Push yourself and you may be able to help someone else,
Keep going.

Life is a test of your patience and gratefulness.

King your time will come.
Build your empire with wisdom
Your heart of gold will make your bloodline rich.

This one here is for
The little boy in the corner,
The little boy on the corner,
The little boy in the coroner,

The man in the mirror is
some bodies little boy, somebodies little boy.

All the tears you accumulated are meant to,
Get you through the hardships.
Establish relationships.
Discover true friendship.
Your battleship is sacred.

This one here is for
The little boy in the corner,
The little boy on the corner,
The little boy in the coroner,

The man in the mirror is
some bodies little boy, somebodies little boy.

Smiling.

til Kingdom-come.

-Leighrick

Linguistics

Since We Speak The Same Language.

There’s always this back and forth.
I wonder why?
Chances were given, but you hardly tried.
Contrary to the myth,
You made it easy to say good-bye.
I said my peace, left my feelings in this piece.
Hit the Mary J, and said “Fuck It! I’m not gone cry”.
You say, “We go deeper”, but your narrow vision isn’t that wide.
Now you’re back to catching feelings, but I threw mine
As bait, in the river, I cried.
Where there was plenty of cold-blooded species like mine.
Obviously a toxic misuse of time,
and the pollution of loneliness reigned on.
Thoughts of you stormed my mind,
Forming a dark cloud, diluting emotions.
Anger took the form of lightening, and that quick
3 strikes became equivalent to 1.
No matter the weather or the excuses,
I told myself, we were done.
Yet you’re still smelling roses,
Caught up by dozens, the pun was lost.
A big joke it all seems to be.
No longer looking for love, even though
You’re still hiding behind a bush.
I just may have overlooked ya.
Now you’re yelling ‘STOP’, so I accelerate.
You used to tell me I moved slow, but all you do is hesitate.
Trying to illustrate forever.
You couldn’t see my vision, now that you’ve open your eyes
You’ve mistaken love at first sight.
You don’t know me.
Word is bond, your is tongue tied.
Speechless.
No more moving back, only forward
The message has been sent,
I Cc’d you – I hope you received it.

Signed, Sealed, & Delivered

-Leighrick

Bed Spread

There’s too much confusion just to let the dust settle.

The shit hit the fan, and now my heart is in shambles.

Trying to pick-up all the pieces to the puzzle, but those missing have been swept under the rug.

I got this illness…

Love Sick.

Curious, yet left without answers

The bush is not the only thing being beaten around.

I no longer wake up with a smile,

Now I live in a frown.

My heart is building up its walls again, a safer house.

Resentment unfortunately is the foundation for my anger.

These lies have enclosed my heart in inflammation.

My mind couldn’t keep its thoughts off premeditated suicide.

I enter the panic room.

I put this love gun to my temple, as tears of passion run down my cheeks;

While my trigger finger frees me, and fills my medulla-oblongata with these hollow tip uncertainties.

Bloodshed, my loves sinks beneath me, and a sea of red is engulfed by my bedsheets.

Death Bed.

My last thought hoping some trtuh will come of sacrifice.

Label me another

Premeditated Love Suicide

-Leighrick

Pain I Can Touch

I cut my hand on the bus today,

accidentally on purpose.

I cannot explain to you

how elated I was

and think you’d be able to fathom it.

I mean,

I was able to feel pain.

For those of you who

think this is about me being “emotionally numb“,

….

….

You’re wrong.

I am happy,

Finally…

Finally I feel a pain

I can do something about.

I can see it, touch it, and I can nurture it.

I rushed home,

instead of grabbing the alcohol,

I grabbed the peroxide,

Washed my hands twice,

and applied an even coat of Neosporin.

I dropped everything when I entered my room.

I laid on my bed, staring at in awe of my palm.

I cannot stop smiling.

Finally,

I have been hurt, but

I can do something about it.

I can see the wound,  putting a band-aid for comfort.

I can watch my bodies progression, as the new skin arrives,

reminding me that this pain is only temporary.

Overjoyed that I remember my blood is red and not black.

I guess you can say,

it cut me on the right hand,

but really…

it did.

This pain influenced this poem, so I took some advice and

I

Showed

My

Pain.

-Leighrick