Tag Archives: Health

Broken Open

Still in a room,
A broken mirror reflects flawless smiles of all those that once stared before it.
Gleaming eyes looking for themselves in fragments of light.
I can’t yet see through.

Walking…
My tears and the street lights create stained glass.
Looking at memories abandoned in pictures, and the pain that is sheltered, buried, and concealed in temples.

Implicitly.

Shattered and now broken open.

I pick up the pieces with the roughest edges first.
I cut myself — countless times.

It hurts not to scream!
As a child you are taught that silence is comforting,
Explicitly a fools gold, a dastardly violence.

The blood has been contaminated with secrecy.
Life’s own mystery;
What good is the knowledge of hystori if the truth never gets told?

Exposed.
Undressing wounds
I see myself in rare form….beautiful….
Vulnerable.

This bigger picture envisioned is actually a puzzle;
we are each others pieces.
There are no borders, filters, nor frames….
Regardless not everyone fits, still you are..

Limitless…

-Leighrick

10947233_10153080716948746_4292457987642403699_n

Advertisements

Coroner on the Corner

This one here is for
The little boy in the corner,
The little boy on the corner,
The little boy in the coroner,

The man in the mirror is
some bodies little boy, somebodies little boy.

Crying shame,
Try Finding strength.
Crying bullets, not in range, but enraged.
No tears at all, because no bodies there to catch them
Nobody is here to listen.

Foreign to intuition.
Imperiled by institutions.

You said you had my back, but them you caught me with a knife.

This one here is for
The little boy in the corner,
The little boy on the corner,
The little boy in the coroner,

The man in the mirror is
some bodies little boy, somebodies little boy.

Idle body.
Absent mind.
Hidden in the darkness.
Played follow the leader and was misguided.

This is for you kid!

All through life you grow up hearing,
“Don’t do anything stupid”
But in every experience you obtain knowledge.

Lend them your soles to walk in, so
They may feel the exhaustion, and
Be aware of the mileage.
Only look back to see how far you’ve come, then
Keep moving forward.

This one here is for
The little boy in the corner,
The little boy on the corner,
The little boy in the coroner,

The man in the mirror is
some bodies little boy, somebodies little boy.

Life seemed so simple, when you use to play with toys
Now some of these toys make a much different noise.
That can take time away in the form of lives.
That cannot be reborn, because this is not a video game.

A spectator let loose in a playas game..

This one here if for
The little boy who needs his mamas kiss,
The little boy who needs his fathers attention.
The little boy who yearns for love and affection.

From the cradle to the grave

Pour out a little liquor, keep swallowing the pain.

this little boy looking in the mirror trying to teach himself to be a man.
How to withstand the loneliness by himself, looking for a shoulder to lean on.
The ridicule of the free man telling him to jump, but he knows
Deep inside he hasn’t felt his wings growin’.

Be in control of emotions.
Retain focus.
Push yourself and you may be able to help someone else,
Keep going.

Life is a test of your patience and gratefulness.

King your time will come.
Build your empire with wisdom
Your heart of gold will make your bloodline rich.

This one here is for
The little boy in the corner,
The little boy on the corner,
The little boy in the coroner,

The man in the mirror is
some bodies little boy, somebodies little boy.

All the tears you accumulated are meant to,
Get you through the hardships.
Establish relationships.
Discover true friendship.
Your battleship is sacred.

This one here is for
The little boy in the corner,
The little boy on the corner,
The little boy in the coroner,

The man in the mirror is
some bodies little boy, somebodies little boy.

Smiling.

til Kingdom-come.

-Leighrick

Linguistics

Since We Speak The Same Language.

There’s always this back and forth.
I wonder why?
Chances were given, but you hardly tried.
Contrary to the myth,
You made it easy to say good-bye.
I said my peace, left my feelings in this piece.
Hit the Mary J, and said “Fuck It! I’m not gone cry”.
You say, “We go deeper”, but your narrow vision isn’t that wide.
Now you’re back to catching feelings, but I threw mine
As bait, in the river, I cried.
Where there was plenty of cold-blooded species like mine.
Obviously a toxic misuse of time,
and the pollution of loneliness reigned on.
Thoughts of you stormed my mind,
Forming a dark cloud, diluting emotions.
Anger took the form of lightening, and that quick
3 strikes became equivalent to 1.
No matter the weather or the excuses,
I told myself, we were done.
Yet you’re still smelling roses,
Caught up by dozens, the pun was lost.
A big joke it all seems to be.
No longer looking for love, even though
You’re still hiding behind a bush.
I just may have overlooked ya.
Now you’re yelling ‘STOP’, so I accelerate.
You used to tell me I moved slow, but all you do is hesitate.
Trying to illustrate forever.
You couldn’t see my vision, now that you’ve open your eyes
You’ve mistaken love at first sight.
You don’t know me.
Word is bond, your is tongue tied.
Speechless.
No more moving back, only forward
The message has been sent,
I Cc’d you – I hope you received it.

Signed, Sealed, & Delivered

-Leighrick

Bed Spread

There’s too much confusion just to let the dust settle.

The shit hit the fan, and now my heart is in shambles.

Trying to pick-up all the pieces to the puzzle, but those missing have been swept under the rug.

I got this illness…

Love Sick.

Curious, yet left without answers

The bush is not the only thing being beaten around.

I no longer wake up with a smile,

Now I live in a frown.

 

My heart is building up its walls again, a safer house.

 

Resentment unfortunately is the foundation for my anger.

These lies have enclosed my heart in inflammation.

My mind couldn’t keep its thoughts off premeditated suicide.

 

I enter the panic room.

 

I put this love gun to my temple, as tears of passion run down my cheeks;

While my trigger finger frees me, and fills my medulla-oblongata with these hollow tip uncertainties.

Bloodshed, my loves sinks beneath me, and a sea of red is engulfed by my bedsheets.

Death Bed.

My last thought hoping some trtuh will come of sacrifice.

Label me another

Premeditated Love Suicide

 

-Leighrick

Pain I Can Touch

I cut my hand on the bus today,

accidentally on purpose.

I cannot explain to you

how elated I was

and think you’d be able to fathom it.

 

I mean,

I was able to feel pain.

For those of you who

think this is about me being “emotionally numb“,

….

….

You’re wrong.

 

I am happy,

Finally…

Finally I feel a pain

I can do something about.

I can see it, touch it, and I can nurture it.

 

 

I rushed home,

instead of grabbing the alcohol,

I grabbed the peroxide,

Washed my hands twice,

and applied an even coat of Neosporin.

 

I dropped everything when I entered my room.

I laid on my bed, staring at in awe of my palm.

I cannot stop smiling.

 

Finally,

I have been hurt, but

I can do something about it.

 

 

I can see the wound,  putting a band-aid for comfort.

I can watch my bodies progression, as the new skin arrives,

reminding me that this pain is only temporary.

 

Overjoyed that I remember my blood is red and not black.

I guess you can say,

it cut me on the right hand,

but really…

it did.

 

This pain influenced this poem, so I took some advice and

 

I

Showed

My

Pain.

 

-Leighrick

Operate On Me

Operate on the patient.

 

It seems she’s lost her patience.

 

The machine’s beeping is slowing down.

 

There is no heart. She seems to need a replacement.

 

An ice sickle lodged in her chest.

 

No wonder she is so still..

 

Remaining non-responsive..

 

She’ll be sent to rehab, she cant recall the feeling.

 

Numb from all previous emotional beatings.

 

She is weary from the world’s revolving, she grabbed the revolver, and turned her back on the world.

 

The Doctors go in for surgery, as she lies unconscious asking God,

 

Who murdered me?

They told me emotions were a bitch, but I didn’t think she ever heard of me!

 

 

She’s angry.

 

The nurses forgot to stick her with the IV.

Now pain is the only joy she seeks.

 

Four doctors all inside her, trying relocate her heart, but they’re only blind, to what they don’t want to see.

Her heart is there; instead look what its grown to be.

Embodying an igloo — a shelter for the feelings she never learned to release.

 

She never felt capable.

 

Staring down at the table, screaming at the doctors

Someone Help Me!”.…..”Please!”

 

Her feelings are confusing because ironically agony brings her relief.

 

The world is in the waiting room anticipating her release, with a knife in the back pocket. Aimed at her back, for the next time she attempts to flee.

 

Unfortunately we don’t know which paralyzed her, the world or the doctors operating.

 

However now she is alive and conscience…except without much strength to feel

 

Currently she sits alone rehabilitating her trust.

 

Is insurance overrated?

 

Leighrick

Seeing Sinking Ships

Seeing Sinking Ships

I see you rowing the boat I was once stuck in.

I was looking for an island or somewhere to rest my head,

Cause I was stressing from the questions.

I was hurt from the guilt of winds that kept blowing in my direction.

I know it hurts and even with a life vest on, it still feels as tho you’re drowning.

That relation-ship’s anchor broke loose and left a hole.

You’re sinking in your melancholy, yet you find yourself floating in the right direction.

Peep the radars, even in extreme stealth they’ll still manage to find you.

Hearts ain’t no joke, so what’s suppose to be punchlines are more like knockouts.

Some how this all defines you —

What do you do when the person you love defies you?

All this time staring love in the face, but it was made up…

They threw your heart back in your face, you were being lied to.

What should you do?

Your heart cant think, but your mind is the reason you feel the way you do.

All the broken promises and fuzzy memories.

I remember — you don’t need to keep reminding me of what we use to be!

How could this even be?

How was I not able to see?

Falling for another, yet you always seem to catch me.

I had grown complacent with it being a thought,  maybe even a reoccurring dream, but I refuse to make this pain my reality.

Leighrick

Goodnight Never Goodbye

This is Real.

The hurt in my chest,

the plugged ears,

the consistency of tears.

My cries for some understanding.

Unanswered.

Deceit has sent me overboard.

Like a coward my arms could no longer bare the burden of my heart, my mind, and his words.

Regrettably —

I have no life vest.

I fell off and into what I thought was a puddle;

Except the more agony I felt, the more the water swallowed my body.

The most meaningful attribute to life, tasteful but bittersweet.

Every time a thought of you crosses, mini movies of recollections replay,

and the pain in my heart is replenished.

Lost in a sea of  crocodile tears, swollen eyes, a gorged nose, and a heartbroken by life.

Actualize a racing mind.

Time is drowning me in my own emo-ocean.

Much time is given, yet I feel like sailing out my mind.

Envision

Fishing with the thoughts of regrets, and Paragliding with reminiscence.

Through a Cold War, actions often kill, but

Love is stronger than death.

Despite love being uncontrollable, no matter how hard death tries it cannot intervene people in love.

Love is stronger than death, although it can’t stop death from happening, no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love.

Therefore,

Death cannot take away memories either.

In the end, love is always stronger.

So you see —

A part of you has grown in me.

Allowing me to  cease the worries, raise up, and stand strong

It’s you and me together like time and eternity

and never afar,

maybe in distance,

but never by heart.

Goodnight I say,

Never a Goodbye.

Leighrick

When Dreams Become Reality

When Dreams Become Reality

 

This evening

I found my imagination in the back of my mind.

I’m feeling remorse;  I should have listened to my conscience.

My creativity was knocking on my temple.

Tylenol, shut it up…

Now my hearts paying for it.

I closed my eyes, covered my ears, and listened to my soul cry.

 

I traveled my  medulla oblongata.

I flinch. My dreams turned into nightmares.

I see my imagination lay wasted thin like water.

Fuck!

Paralyzed mind.

My conscience has become the new Cesar.

 

I look left and my creativity has overdosed on refer.

I look right at the nightmares beating my dreams.

I look behind me, and my conscience shaking.

I can no longer witness this.

I look ahead and my imagination is dead.

 

Insanity has sunk in.

 

This is absent Schizophrenia.

I don’t know who I am.

Because of this is Bipolarity;

I can’t choose a feeling!

 

Living poison.

My words are tainted.

My tongue is numb.

My heart is ignorant.

Have I gone blind?

 

Am I jeopardizing my own purity?!

 

Pen to my head.

Placing notebook paper down to surround myself.

I’m making my bed.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; I’m terrified by making a mess.

 

Leighrick is whispering in my ear,” Chaotic just go through with it“.

 

How did she know that about me?

Who told her my first name?

 

I can’t do this anymore!”

I don’t know what I’m saying.

 

My history is spilling out my closet.

My conscience turned the lights on.

I look left and right forgetting I’m blind.

I stop and listen..

FUCK!

I hear myself dying!

 

Jumping out the bed; I vomit.

I feel around for my inspiration; turns out that’s what filled the sink!

I vomit again.

Except when I flushed the toilet, along with the rejection went my dreams.

 

I leave the red lit room.

Trying to feel my way back;

The walls disintegrate around me.

 

I collapse on my bed.

Place the pen in my hand.

If I’m already dying inside, who’ll appreciate  what’s left?

Beauty is within, but so is deception.

 

Chaotic is talking to me, “Don’t do it Leighrick“.

Leighrick is yelling at me, “Wait, I thought I was Candace?!

Candace is screaming to both of them, “I’m going through with this. I don’t know who I am!!

 

Leighrick says, “You’re Chaotic

Chaotic says, “You’re Candace

Candace says, “Shut the fuck up! Fuck! I’m losing it!!

 

I lay upon my bed of paper.

With a red pillow behind my head.

I want to disguise the blood; for whomever may find me.

They won’t be freaked out when realizing I’m dead.

 

I put the pen to my head.

Pop…

Goes the trigger.

 

Ink consumes my body.

My soul is released.

 

The next morning there’s knockin’ on my door.

The knocks go unanswered…their whispers fade,

shhh, we should just let her sleep.”

 

The poet lays at peace.

 

Just in case you didn’t notice, I committed homicide with the piece.

 

Next time you’ll know not to judge, but

Instead to stop to let the poet speak.

 

Sincerely,

That Chaotic, Leighrickal, Young Lady C.

 

When dreams become reality
When dreams become reality