Category Archives: Family

Unconditional Love.

Sore Wings

We’re all flawed beautiful creatures
hiding behind the truth, lying in the sadness
Reality.
Child – children
Wanting to belong, to be held
To remember the feeling of love.
To remember if that feeling was love.
What is love?
Who am I?
What makes us we?
Mistakes get tangled – intuition
Can learning be taught?
How can we learn how to teach?
How to reach others; while holding ourselves —
Steady

Ready for nothing.
Longing for a future
Past today, anxious about tomorrows
The sky is falling, and
My hands are full of
wishes that keep escaping on shooting stars

Nothing even matters…

I am listening with my eyes;
while my ears search for the melody
that has been on repeat.
Identical to a heart beat thats played music many years
Uncountable.
Except by the scars,
Accepting the flaws–
Pulling up roots as I soar
My wings are sore, yet still I rise.
I Fly!
On the ocean-floor, over-seas
Through the stratus clouds,
Thus being
Gliding in the no-thing-ness

Honey, Be

-Leighrick

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Broken Pedestals

Don’t lose sight of the light.
I close both my eyes, but
Leave the third one open-wide.
Absorbing and Transforming,
Life is a canvas already been painted on; which color will you use to highlight the accents?
How many ways can I contrast the madness?
We are often too busy adding structure to the broken pedestals that once seated those you placed highly.
Deceived if depth can’t be seen without views of the horizon.
Still can’t hear me yelling – only seeing me naked.
This one really speaks to me…
Eye can’t teach them to listen.
Splatter paint like emotion wherever I go.
The world is my canvas. I create in the shadows.
Wash that mask, under that mask, beneath the skin.
Peel the flesh back like old pages.
This book is blank just like the canvas.
Invisible ink disguised as experience.
Squeeze the color out my veins, and witness the light ooze through pores.
Decorating the pews they are glued to.
Stained with the truth not illustrated on the glass.
Looking out the window is living in the past.
Breaking that window is living.
I’m breaking my silence how trees uproot sidewalks.
I belong in the street.
Driving myself crazy, playing hide-n-go-seek with self-identity.
Don’t be lazy.
Chasing my tears to the waterfall of my dreams.
Flowing…
Now I’m glowing..
I stay woke.

-Leighrick

Broken Open

Still in a room,
A broken mirror reflects flawless smiles of all those that once stared before it.
Gleaming eyes looking for themselves in fragments of light.
I can’t yet see through.

Walking…
My tears and the street lights create stained glass.
Looking at memories abandoned in pictures, and the pain that is sheltered, buried, and concealed in temples.

Implicitly.

Shattered and now broken open.

I pick up the pieces with the roughest edges first.
I cut myself — countless times.

It hurts not to scream!
As a child you are taught that silence is comforting,
Explicitly a fools gold, a dastardly violence.

The blood has been contaminated with secrecy.
Life’s own mystery;
What good is the knowledge of hystori if the truth never gets told?

Exposed.
Undressing wounds
I see myself in rare form….beautiful….
Vulnerable.

This bigger picture envisioned is actually a puzzle;
we are each others pieces.
There are no borders, filters, nor frames….
Regardless not everyone fits, still you are..

Limitless…

-Leighrick

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Lullably for a Queen

We can’t rewind, but we can take a minute to think about the good times.
Relive the smiles and increase the volume of the laughter.
I can see me in your eyes, can you see yourself in mine?
A Queen
Whose reign never shadows that of others, but casts only light for them to grow and shine.
Our fingers dance together, intertwined like our hearts.
When you serenade me with lullabies of life, sleeping is a sanctuary.
Where we can run wild in our dreams, imprint our footsteps on the beach.
They remain permanent like your hands upon my spirit.
This is a love so deep, you don’t just feel it you embody it, you don’t just hear it you see it.
Come get close,
I never want to leave.
I want to escape with you and rediscover moments in our life in places we didn’t get to be.
Look in me.
Your lines can’t tell your stories, and I can try to allow mine, but
I don’t know the her-story fully.
Tell me about the first breath, the big steps, you took as a child. What did you sacrifice for us to be here now?
Let us celebrate the anniversary of your being.
I’m your Lil Bit, but your a big part of the woman I am becoming now. I’ve always wanted to make you proud, and
When I read you a piece of my poetry, you looked at me with such a impenetrable smile, a couple tears ran down your face, and
You had the nerve to ask me who it was about.
I said a Queen, A Goddess, a Phenomenal Woman.
I kissed your hand, laid upon your chest, and held my breath tho I wanted to scream, shout, and praise you.
I – kneeling beside your bed, reassuring that the woman I am worshiping in this poem, is you – without a doubt.
Your stance – Grand in the presence of my life.
Irreplaceable.
Being with you now is a priceless gift.
Thankful today to be your Grand-Kid.

I love you more than just a little bit,

Signed,
(A big piece of you)
– Your Lil Bit

[My] Prince Matthew Jaden

July 14, 2011

[6]

My Prince
When I look into your eyes
I see nothing but pure innocence.
Never change not in morals but flourish in wisdom while you grow.

My Prince
Education is the main priority.
So be sure to maintain that GPA or Im sure moms will discipline you.
And I know as you sit there enjoying SpongeBob Square Pants –
I Know as your sitting on my lap and resting your head against my chest,
Your mind is consuming all the love I have for you.

My Prince
When I see you I smile
I go through slideshows of pictures and videos when I am away
just to see that smile…and that attitude when it decides to show itself.
Playing with you, I slip in encouragements and inspiration,
So that when you grow up Confidence is natural but so is being Humble.

I remember Saturday mornings I would rock you to sleep,
my little Einstein, ironic you never slept during that cartoon.

My Prince
I know you will make me proud.
Remember to let your Imagination flow and your Creativity Explode,
Born with natural rhythm let your deepest aspirations guide you on the path to your ever-so bright future
and remember to teach these values and morals to your little sister.
Protect Her.
Although she may be a pain now, I see in those almond eyes the love you have for one another.

My Prince
Accept that mistakes will be made, just be sure to learn from them.
Forgive and have Faith, but never be ignorant to your intuition.

And

My Prince
If Im gone by the time you are able to comprehend this
Keep this poem close to your heart, and know Im still beside you.
I will watch over you, and guide you.
I will remain in your heart
I thank God everyday for giving Life to you.

And in my absence
temporary or permanent
I may not be showering you with aesthetic gifts,
but with love and acceptance
for the Man you will become.

My Prince
If you need me
Shout my name silently in your thoughts, and while you are active
I will creep up on you like the sandman and comfort you in your thoughts.
You may not know if I was there, and wondering when I came….

My Prince
You and your sister hold my most sacred possession,
My Heart.

So every time you feel an unfamiliar but glowing warmth overwhelm your heart, and you cant resist to smile or giggle,
Relax…Thats just Auntie whispering she’ll always love you.

My Prince
Your throne awaits you…
and if you so happen to miss the seat,
Auntie will be right there to lift you up, dust you off,
telling you to keep trying.

Always know that this poem doesnt even resemble a quarter of my undying love for you.

-Leighrick

Phenomenal Woman

For all that you have given me,

I can return but love.

On the days when the sun isn’t shining so bright,

Your smile brightens my world, and glistening in your smile is your heart of gold.

Your eyes caress my uneasiness, letting me know everything will be okay.

How can you know how much you mean to me?

After a number of heartaches, there unconditional love lays.

Blessed I am, for the woman you are, and the one I will become.

Since birth it’s been you & I.

I know I have a lot of siblings,

You share a separate yet special bond with each us.

But lately, I’ve been caught up in this growth between myself and my pride.

I know I haven’t been an easy child, however

I’m just trying to express to you my apologies.

 

I look into your eyes and see the wounds on your soul, your hurt.

I admire what you’ve provided me with.

I am grateful.

 

Anyone can see it in our lives,

The joy each one of us derives,

in just knowing that the other one is there –

To care and understand,

To lend an ear or hold a hand,

And celebrate in the memories and love we share.

 

Mommy,

You’ve passed onto me your elegant attributes.

Beauty,

&

Intelligence.

Your hugs are laced with tender, loving, care.

Your kisses calm down my heart, and give me reassurance that you’ll always be there.

Phenomenal Woman.

Your skin glows, radiant with triumph.

Legendary.

My inspiration to become everything, you know I can be.

You helped to build my mind.

And I want you to know –

The thought of you by me

Makes me smile and give thanks to God for having you in my life.

 

We will be close

Forever, not just for a while.

I appreciate my mother.

 

Gentle yet Strong.

You’ve been patient when I’m foolish;

You give me guidance even when I don’t ask.

Its evident you can do most anything;

A master of every task.

You’ve been my cushion when I fall.

Help in times of trouble.

I love you more than you know,

You have my entirety of respect.

And if God gave me my choice of mothers,

There would be no question,

You’d be the one I would select.

So

Although time is non-directional, it always moves forward.

We have memories to look back on, and I am able to bask in your love.

It’s said,

“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness”

Well it doesn’t just take mother’s day to let you to understand,

That not only are you My Mother, but

A Phenomenal Woman.

 

Love Always,

Leighrick

Phone Home

I’m trapped in a box with a cell phone, white walls and a stop sign. I’ve finally caught a signal… I began to phone home. No answer — I guess the answering machine has a mind of its own. Who would have ever thought that the sound of the dial tone, could set the tone for my sickness. I lay flat on my stomach – ill. Until the satellites come correctly into place.

Walls cant cry, windows don’t have arms, and with a mattress full of money still none of it builds a home. I know they seen it coming down my eyes, but I couldn’t feel her text message cry. I peeped it through the mirror, it almost seemed 3D, but not forgetting its reality. I turn over on my back and begin to ponder. Did you see the image you portrayed clearly? I thought at least some of the things I was doing was brand new…

I blink twice, hoping that this is a dream and I’m sailing off in the bay out the double standard cell, cell phone free because my hearts hope isn’t for sale. Transcribing feelings through technology shows no emotion, that goes for the smiley as well… So when that door opened up for me. I grasped the shadows of 3 strong women standing tall….with their hands held out, my future blueprinted. Now I can say that my future at hand will be successful. You’ll miss us when we’re gone…

I float high good bye. I will miss y’all

-Leighrick

The Coldest War

Everyone said life was going to be this hard

However, everyone failed to mention the scars would remain, less obvious than outer appearance.

Daily wearing her heart on her sleeve.

Scabs and keloids protrude from untold her-stories,

 

Belly swollen full of manipulation.

Brain dead,

Unconscious,

Self-conscious —

 

Afraid of self.

 

PAIN

 

A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Her tongue remedial compared to cat like reflexes.

Her own two sense, something she cant afford.

 

She Wrote.

and so

She Spoke.

 

She becomes family with led and ink.

In-laws of different colors

 

A mind is a terrible thing to waste,

as is her pain,

She Wrote.

 

This lonely child found the comfort in the instruments, the silence, and the trees.

 

All she wrote repeatedly:

 

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!!“…

 

Peers read, what appears?

What is perceived?

 

The agony brought a smile upon her face, because shes discovered one of her many talents

Acting.

 

Just Leave Me.

Leave Her Alone.

 

MEANING

Comfort Me.

 

This little girl is on a scavenger hunt.

She tries to abandon the labels, they hold her back.

She searches for someone to foster her creativity.

She longs for someone to adopt her perception.

Her conscience is an Orphan.

 

This lonely child is lost in all the love.

 

Mouth dry as wood.

Eyes shinning bright like dim lights.

These Pinocchio’s snout would grow

if they deny being puppets too.

 

She just wants to be a real woman.

They hear her speak, but no one

LISTENS.

Judgments are passed along,

accompanied by unconditional love.

Under the conditions of seeing thoroughly, only when they chose not to be

BLIND.

 

so confused.

 

Life is hard, for that she was prepared.

They keeping telling her to explain herself.

But no one understands her language.

She tries to translate it, but motha fuckas are impatient.

 

Feeling like a patient, she nursing her thoughts.

Remember, this poor girl is brain dead.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste

 

So.

The shadow unexpectedly appeared

placed the pen to her temple.

imprinted a hand against her heart,

and pressed her mouth onto hers.

 

She inhaled comprehension and took her first gasp of LIFE.

Tasteless.

 

Nervous.

Excited.

She understands her language, she wrote back to her through thoughts, emotions, and intuition.

She spoke.

The first words for a young adult.

“I Love You”

She grew inside her,wisdom, her tears the waters that bloomed this gracious flower.

 

Everyone told her life was going to be this hard.

She thought her shit would come out softer after the bullshit they fed her,

another fallacy sugar coated.

 

She’s screaming at her

Lullabies sweet and low.

Her honesty

Bittersweet.

 

This Woman is a Solider.

The series of this Coldest War.

 

To be continued…

 

-Leighrick

Figuratively Speaking

Figuratively Speaking…
Is blood truly thicker than water…I mean figuratively speaking.
How can a friends love not be equal or greater than that of a sibling?
Can a bond between an in-law grow quicker than parent?
Can the love of your partner overwhelm that of your brethren?
They say a family that prays together stays together, but what if there’s no praying at all?
What if the only praying going on, is the preying on ones individuality?
Shouldn’t you accept me as I am?
Isn’t Love unconditional?
Or do you only love me under the conditions of what you think is right?
Why is it that friends always seem to be by your side when you get the bad news,
but when your with family news seems to always be on commercial?
How come in my situation two wrongs didn’t make a right, but still two rights made a wrong?
With that being stated…
One shouldn’t make their past someones present.
The only gift that brings is misunderstood lies, drama, and pain…
And…
This only leaves us clueless.
Please tell me, is this the mis-education of Chemistry?
Why do I feel so distant from the ones I share my DNA with?
…..
I guess Love is Blind….Cause my love for you cant see the love you have for me.
And I guess Love is Deaf too, because you have yet to hear my cries for an answer.
I’m confused yet I’m curious as to what Love has in store for me.
All I really want is the answer to my question, because water has been there for me even when I didn’t want it.
And…
They say you cant live long without water, see because that’s what your body is composed;
without water there is no blood???

Now can you answer my question…
Is blood truly thicker than water…figuratively speaking???

-Leighrick

Tarnished Gold

I am in this relationship.

 

Its not awkward.

Its not violent.

Its not intimate.

 

Its Silent…

 

The type of silence when something wants to be said, but is held back.

So I hold back my response, because like always…we’ll get nowhere,

even though we’re riding in this car together.

 

We’re just silent.

Sitting.

 

Its like she’s choking on her emotions,

which is suffocating me.

 

Ultimately..

the most said is a greeting.

 

Just a “Hi” or a “Hello

 

On the outside our presences seem to be mellow,

but in the depth there is tension, with obviously invisible conflict.

 

I am that child,

walking in her parents foots steps.

 

Destined for success

Assuming I don’t want to be heard,

with attributes that speak volumes,

Questioning Love.

 

So

I

Remain

Silent.

 

We remain silent.

 

 

Everything forcing us to make conversation,

but the restraint of her tongue is intimidating.

 

 

I am confused.

Within everything that’s been said;

I am still not sure how to perceive it.

 

Its like my good news is being taken for bad news,

and my bad news for worse,

 

So I feel like,

Well Shit…

 

I feel like I’m not even worth the words.

 

 

Which is why

I pass by in silence.

 

 

I’m afraid, because time is moving quickly.

 

Silence is known to be deadly, and I see no future assets in this Gold.

 

Holidays no longer filled with warmth, but with coal.

I try to manufacture some happiness into this relationship,

its not working….

 

My heart keeps sinking,

deeper and deeper and deeper.

 

This relationship goes deeper than the wounds we’ve made visible,

These hand-me-down scars are invisible.

 

Now its not just the suffering of one,

everyone’s worn their heart on their sleeve at some point.

 

 

There is no Freedom of Speech.

Divided we stand, and united we have fallen.

 

But when its too hard to stand,

Ive learned, its okay to kneel.

 

Only when I’m down here, I’m asking for her hand,

because this relationship is until death do us part.

 

Although it’s killing me trying to comprehend.

I will not stop.

 

I know love exists,

I just hope the first steps to rebuild our foundation,

We can share a smile.

 

The real kind,

and not the ones forced by Silence.

 

 

-Leighrick