Tag: Online Writing

Confessions

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So as I recline behind these lies

Seeking to find my own peace of mind, avoiding the real troubles of life.

I take a step back behind the glass of my memories museum, to look at myself in the complicating process and try to explain

why my body’s dictionary defines you as necessary.

I feel nostalgic, because I am longing to re-embrace that one time you and I shared the same smile.

Only that is in the past…and this dedication to you is a blast from the future.

 

So as I sit at my computer —

 

Trying to let the past marinate into my fingers,

enabling  my conscience to go through this hard laboring pain,

of motioning my words and molding them into the harsh daggers of the truth compiled of words

developing into similes & personifications.

They stop…

While my minds racing, yet nothing is appearing upon the screen because in reality….

Depicting my feelings onto one lonely piece of paper is just like talking to myself,

only the pen is responding with curves and loops,

and all that’s left written on the paper was the word

Liar……

 

[Liar:”to be untruthful“]

 

See the lies Ive told you, allowed me to realize…

Love isn’t strong enough. Love isn’t visible or existing, just like time.

I’ve discovered: “Love is an ability, not a feeling“.

And noticing the stupidity of being played, makes you feel even worse than having

your heart broken by someone who had a mutual feeling of “Love”

 

Today…

I came across my emotions, and every night before that I go to sleep,

With my heart still asking me…Why?

Why do I keep allowing my heart to get tangled in the obstacles of this game you normal beings call life?

 

Let me sit and list:

All the times I was fine with calling you back to your convenience.

All the times I didn’t mind if you didn’t have the time to kick back. (again to your convenience)

All the times I told you that you weren’t wasting my time,

 

But see there’s when I lied

Because you always felt it necessary to bless me with your presence or voice,

whenever you were bored out of your mind, or feeling a bit “lonely” on the bed-side.

But now its about time I be upfront, because with our relationship was comprised of lies.

 

I just wish I had the courage to tell you the truth.

Instead of hearing you repeat ever so famous white lie.

“I Love You Too Baby”

 

-Leighrick©

Offically Missing You

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I’m lost confused as to what to do.
Sometimes I wish you could just walk a couple steps in my shoes,
Feel the pain I’m feeling from how much I’m missing you.
And I swear that’s sayings true, cause you cannot have the cake if your trying to eat it too.
Meaning I can not be your lover, only a homie…not even your boo.
Yet I continue to baby you.
Through and through, and through and through…I’ve met plenty of dudes, but can’t progress cause I stay comparing them to you.
It hurts because you love her, they love you, and I’m just here helping you get through it all.
I do things I don’t do, I say things I don’t say,
I’ve distanced myself from others, longing to have you one of these days, but your routine stays the same.
You don’t know what your feeling, through one ear and out the other…
through one year passes another and I’m still not with you.
People begging me, pleading for me to leave you, and
I inch away retracing my steps right back…
I’m breaking my back and your hardly bending yours.
Yours, Mines, Ours forever …we say–
I’m yours and your mine…
that’s how I wake up each morning, with a reoccurring dream hoping life has changed.
Either me not loving you, or you finally recognizing me…

Hopefully it’s not too late, and you’ve become either a mistake or stay a dream.
Our relationship is getting sicker, because it’s only me participating
yet my feelings get thicker, and you present yourself
here and there…
I still don’t see you.
In the beginning we started off solid, oblivious as to when life would hit…
But it did, hard
Because I feel, I’m the only one living through this
You’re not yourself and for sometime you’ve been missing.

I guess this poem is a point to say that I’m Officially Missing You.
-Leighrick

Figuratively Speaking

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Figuratively Speaking…
Is blood truly thicker than water…I mean figuratively speaking.
How can a friends love not be equal or greater than that of a sibling?
Can a bond between an in-law grow quicker than parent?
Can the love of your partner overwhelm that of your brethren?
They say a family that prays together stays together, but what if there’s no praying at all?
What if the only praying going on, is the preying on ones individuality?
Shouldn’t you accept me as I am?
Isn’t Love unconditional?
Or do you only love me under the conditions of what you think is right?
Why is it that friends always seem to be by your side when you get the bad news,
but when your with family news seems to always be on commercial?
How come in my situation two wrongs didn’t make a right, but still two rights made a wrong?
With that being stated…
One shouldn’t make their past someones present.
The only gift that brings is misunderstood lies, drama, and pain…
And…
This only leaves us clueless.
Please tell me, is this the mis-education of Chemistry?
Why do I feel so distant from the ones I share my DNA with?
…..
I guess Love is Blind….Cause my love for you cant see the love you have for me.
And I guess Love is Deaf too, because you have yet to hear my cries for an answer.
I’m confused yet I’m curious as to what Love has in store for me.
All I really want is the answer to my question, because water has been there for me even when I didn’t want it.
And…
They say you cant live long without water, see because that’s what your body is composed;
without water there is no blood???

Now can you answer my question…
Is blood truly thicker than water…figuratively speaking???

-Leighrick

The Marathon Continues

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No shame in observing the dictionary,

Now if you said thesaurus, then this visionary would have been suspicious

Kinda nervous, someones because always trying to duplicate me.

Ignorance is bliss, they cant see that

Nobody can be me, but the fucking mirror.

Dripping like visine, I’m trying make my message clearer.

I like mine in secrets, hes been trying decode the number,

Tell him I’m a star, so try 69

So he poured me a couple glasses of wine,

I shake my head, no duty wine

In this life you only gain as much as you whine.

I knew sleep was the cousin of death but I didn’t know his grandfather was time

Be in a space you can wind down,

Allow your thoughts to flow like the Nile.

Always go the extra mile, everyone’s still stuck 8.

I skipped to 10, cause I grabbed the 9 and told that bitch to lay down!

The marathon continues….

Accidents Happen

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I live every day as if its my last,

I can see the future me winning,

I took a couple plays out the playbook.

New school vibe with an old soul,

Ive been high for so long, my feet knows no lows.

A couple scrapped knees —

I’d rather that, than to be laying with the flowers and some fleas.

These ladies today disgust me.

I never had a barbie, so hanging with the plastics was never up for discussion.

This a lil freestyle; Im not trying to create a ruckus, but

If the buzz is contagious the haters gone be mad, and

Ima have to sleep with one eye open, or

 I may be taking the bottle to the head like Richard T. Jones.

Tho I don’t condone being wasteful, I’m wasted.

Cross paths with aliens –Cross faded.

I’m so ahead of my time, I am reminiscing on current events.

Sunglasses tinted like a Cadillac.

I want a man I can say, “we go way back like 4 flats….”

How cliche is that?

I’m just searching through tunes like any maniac

Trying to catch up with my dreams, there’s a reason I am an insomniac.

Its unhealthy, but I’m sick, how can you argue with that?

Many hope that i’ll flop, but I was never a fan of Divac.

I am going hard like Shaquille.

Ima need a Kobe to pass the Mic to

Brace yourself for Game 5

Don’t panic and call Kanye, Ima win it all without Theraful

iLLFoLK Conglomerate

You gotta be high for this, stop feeling so low, and let the flight ignite you.

All Aboard

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Med cards like passports.

This flight has my eyes red.

Heights.

People ask me how I got to the top, I tell them I’m fly.

I don’t even have to try.

 

“Where’s my lighter?”

 

I prefer glass opposed to plastic, I can see right through you, like some glasses.

I never come in last son.

Fuck a cool kid — I just stroll and walk past them.

The jock on campus.

In a group full of dope rappers.

 

Lames ducking our bars like limbo; this a freestyle

I call it incidental.

I pick up the pen, and aim it at your mental.

 

My rhymes got you feelin’ bad?

Awwwhh

Pull out my tiny violin;

Play a sad instrumental.

 

So far gone

 

I’m a tiger to these city cats — You city rat.

You can stay in the trap;

Honey to these cocaine fiends.

 

Running out of breath,

Close to passing out.

Intoxicated words

I keep slurring, but to be honest

Tomorrow all this will be a blurr.

 

2 tokes for iLLFoLK

 

Then I pass it left

No that ain’t right, or is it?

I can’t remember the rotation.

I’m spacing, no sleep.

Excuse my impatience.

 

I was taught to hustle hard,

Cause my ancestors did.

So Who else would I do it for?

 

Who am I?

They ask me

 

Golden Brown-skin, I’m a Cali baby

Watching the sunset turn skies pink

As I’m walking finding shells in the street, I’m not walking on the beach.

Ghetto birds keep me up, the waves should be singing me to sleep.

 

Admit it my flow is pretty damn unique

It’s pretty fucking neat

Like someone with OCD

1,2,3

1,2,3

Mic check 1, 2, 3

Passing by time in class line after line, sheet after sheet

Stick out my tongue and point my middle finger; like Fuck You!

Hol up let me get the other one; Fuck Everybody!

 

Who exactly are you?

Who wouldn’t want to be me?

Who would want to be you?

Nobody

 

Nobodies showing up.

Everybody

Every party got the people yelling iLLFoLK !!

-Leighrick

Dont Be Afraid

Posted in Love, Pieces of PoetryTagged , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

My greatest fear is love, because the thought of you kills me.

How can someone be so involved, but idle in presence.

You fit the description, and I guess I’ve died because I feel we’re a match made in heaven.

God has given us the gift; the present isn’t enough for me.

I want to travel through the future, and smile because I’m glad you grew old with me.

You’ve been my blanket in the cold, and my soul at times I could no longer burden such emotions.

I can’t even gain control of me.

My minds eye must be blind to true reality because us together, to me feels too much like a fantasy.

When I look into your eyes I see myself, and if you look into to mine you’ll see yourself too.

I sacrifice body, soul, and mind and devote my time to know what rhythm your heart beats and try and coordinate mine to do the same, because I want us to be one.

The Essence of a relationship is not each of us giving 50% because that’s selfish.

I want to give you 100% of me, and I hope you’d do the same because I want our relationship to be 200% better than the rest.

When we kiss, I don’t want it to be because of the passion we have for one another, but because lips can do two things.

1. Lips can capture the unspeakable.

2. Lips can speak the unthinkable

So when we lay down and make love and I’m silent, kiss me because I’m thinking what you’re feeling.

Then Kiss me again because I’ve spoke consciously and told you “I Love You“

Conclusively, I fear my feelings for you are too deep, my dreams for us are too big, and the verbal expression of my feelings for you will be too late.

Should I be worried?

–Leighrick