Confessions

So as I recline behind these lies

Seeking to find my own peace of mind, avoiding the real troubles of life.

I take a step back behind the glass of my memories museum, to look at myself in the complicating process and try to explain

why my body’s dictionary defines you as necessary.

I feel nostalgic, because I am longing to re-embrace that one time you and I shared the same smile.

Only that is in the past…and this dedication to you is a blast from the future.

So as I sit at my computer —

Trying to let the past marinate into my fingers,

enabling my conscience to go through this hard laboring pain,

of motioning my words and molding them into the harsh daggers of the truth compiled of words

developing into similes & personifications.

They stop…

While my minds racing, yet nothing is appearing upon the screen because in reality….

Depicting my feelings onto one lonely piece of paper is just like talking to myself,

only the pen is responding with curves and loops,

and all that’s left written on the paper was the word

Liar……

[Liar:”to be untruthful“]

See the lies Ive told you, allowed me to realize…

Love isn’t strong enough. Love isn’t visible or existing, just like time.

I’ve discovered: “Love is an ability, not a feeling“.

And noticing the stupidity of being played, makes you feel even worse than having

your heart broken by someone who had a mutual feeling of “Love”

Today…

I came across my emotions, and every night before that I go to sleep,

With my heart still asking me…Why?

Why do I keep allowing my heart to get tangled in the obstacles of this game you normal beings call life?

Let me sit and list:

All the times I was fine with calling you back to your convenience.

All the times I didn’t mind if you didn’t have the time to kick back. (again to your convenience)

All the times I told you that you weren’t wasting my time,

But see there’s when I lied

Because you always felt it necessary to bless me with your presence or voice,

whenever you were bored out of your mind, or feeling a bit “lonely” on the bed-side.

But now its about time I be upfront, because with our relationship was comprised of lies.

I just wish I had the courage to tell you the truth.

Instead of hearing you repeat ever so famous white lie.

“I Love You Too Baby”