Journey of a Gemini

The Journey of a Gemini

I’ve been on this journey seeking the other half of me.

My eyes have grown weary & my heart weak.

My head hung low in disappointment.

To the point I’m trying to reach, each step seems as though I’m getting further in distance.

I sit in isolation, sand storms caressing my mind, blizzards comforting my heart, and the great flood drowning my soul.

Heat stroke seemed only to be the only thing comforting me.

Until he came and sat beside me.

I felt his ear to my soul…

His thoughts beating to the rhythm of my heart.

I smile because he’s found me.

The Journey of a Gemini

I’ve sought to find the other half of me.

I am his sun.

He is my moon.

I wonder if knows he’s found me in my worst storm.

That the rain just isn’t nature’s cry for help, but my own spirits.

I want him,

I want him to understand, his smile is my sunset and his eyes are my ocean.

Understand he is my place of peace,

Someone who hears my screams and yells back to comfort me.

I run my hands through the sand, his trails and tribulations.

His breaths kindred to the night waves.

He is my reach past the stars, and the sky…with him I feel no limits.

And

If I am to him Queen, He is my King..

Pour out our thoughts.

Mix our Love.

And build a barricade around our sandcastle.

This is the Journey of a Gemini.

I realize what lies beyond his eyes

&

The difference between what lies hes been told, and what lies in his heart.

As I lie in his arms

He embraces my anticipation.

This journey reflects on my rebuilding of trust.

Does he know he is the foundation?

Everyday will be Summer time, because I will be his sun shining light on his journey as well.

This is the story of a Gemini.

I’ve found the other half of me.

He knows the other half, nobody has ever known,

He is the half of me, I’m always been afraid of showing

but

Somehow through this poem, my feelings for him just flow.

Massaging his doubts..

Our fingers interlock, and we’ll begin our journey together.

The only dream I look forward to, he seems to be better than reality its self.

I wonder…

Is this journey of a Gemini only a dream, because if so fuck that…I want him inside of me.

Not only thoughts, but in feelings,

not only by touch is he healing

but he comforts me, when it feels as though I am emotionless

Incapable of affection…

I feel so Emotional that I am Emotionless

I often wonder if he’s testing me…teasing me?

Love has no boundaries, I stopped to take a break…I gave up on that shit!

I look ahead, and loves found me.

Now I wonder…should I further this journey?

Mother these problems?

Become acquainted with long lost feelings?

Curse the father of my thoughts?

Pet the idea of falling in love again?

Love hurt me before, my chambers turned ice cold

&

My rib cage turned into jail bars.

I feel myself unable to escape.

I wonder if he knows this is me?

Am I accepted?

All I ask for is my love to be respected — and if wants to

He can grab my hand, and join me.

This is the journey of a Gemini.

I am half asleep with my eyes wide open.

I cant see him, but I hear him, and I feel our love growing closer.

He yells, “Love Stinks!

Well that love stench is me, because I’ve been traveling for to long on this damn journey.

But

What can I say?...It’s the Gemini in Me.

-Leighrick

Confessions

So as I recline behind these lies

Seeking to find my own peace of mind, avoiding the real troubles of life.

I take a step back behind the glass of my memories museum, to look at myself in the complicating process and try to explain

why my body’s dictionary defines you as necessary.

I feel nostalgic, because I am longing to re-embrace that one time you and I shared the same smile.

Only that is in the past…and this dedication to you is a blast from the future.

 

So as I sit at my computer —

 

Trying to let the past marinate into my fingers,

enabling  my conscience to go through this hard laboring pain,

of motioning my words and molding them into the harsh daggers of the truth compiled of words

developing into similes & personifications.

They stop…

While my minds racing, yet nothing is appearing upon the screen because in reality….

Depicting my feelings onto one lonely piece of paper is just like talking to myself,

only the pen is responding with curves and loops,

and all that’s left written on the paper was the word

Liar……

 

[Liar:”to be untruthful“]

 

See the lies Ive told you, allowed me to realize…

Love isn’t strong enough. Love isn’t visible or existing, just like time.

I’ve discovered: “Love is an ability, not a feeling“.

And noticing the stupidity of being played, makes you feel even worse than having

your heart broken by someone who had a mutual feeling of “Love

 

Today…

I came across my emotions, and every night before that I go to sleep,

With my heart still asking me…Why?

Why do I keep allowing my heart to get tangled in the obstacles of this game you normal beings call life?

 

Let me sit and list:

All the times I was fine with calling you back to your convenience.

All the times I didn’t mind if you didn’t have the time to kick back. (again to your convenience)

All the times I told you that you weren’t wasting my time,

 

But see there’s when I lied

Because you always felt it necessary to bless me with your presence or voice,

whenever you were bored out of your mind, or feeling a bit “lonely” on the bed-side.

But now its about time I be upfront, because with our relationship was comprised of lies.

 

I just wish I had the courage to tell you the truth.

Instead of hearing you repeat ever so famous white lie.

“I Love You Too Baby”

 

-Leighrick©

The Grand Exit

The last time I remember you; I saw your body sideways leaving out the door.

Last night still had my mind in a daze; I’m sitting up this morning in my bed remembering the days you remembered me.

When the nights went into the mornings; it was clear to me that this love was Satan’s miracle.

I loved the hell out of you, now Ive met my pinnacle.

Those lips smiled, those pearly gates parted, and out crept the blues

You missed me didn’t you?”

Feeling like the drum getting played in this solo.

Meaning you were never present for today’s, but I could always count on you for “couldn’t waits”.

Waiting for your call; do you really wonder why I am up so late? I contemplate.

Why must these trees and these lakes of liquor complicate things?

Standing in the shower wishing it’d bring the heat, and rain harder.

That the radio and the water would some how create thunder, and electrify my spirit –

Free Me.

From this being I love to be in me, but cant stand being apart of.

That’s not love. That’s not lust. Was there really never any trust?

This relationship has rusted. Quickly we are sinking.

Me deeply and you wallow in the shallow end.

But I still pretend that we’re just friends, with the benefits of exercising passion.

So as I am laying here watching you walk out;

Like damn Y? X is the reason.

Seasons change. Feelings stay the same, except this time…

I am the one leaving.

Peace,

Leighrick

Subliminal Trenches

You dig, I trip.

You keep diggin’, I’ll fall.

You dig deeper, I might evolve  into someone greater than the woman before the fall.

Will you catch me?

If not, I hope there’s cushioning.

I’m not comfortable falling under the conditions of second guessing.

I don’t think I’m ready. I swear, I turned my head and you pushed me.

Or was it when I bent down to tie my shoe, is that the reason you offered to do it for me?

You put a lot of work into that digging, was it all for me?

Or is there another falling after me, Is there someone before me?

Am I the only one trying to grasp it?

 

I know that some times happens, but I’m not too fond of traffic.

Is this a two way street?

Red is Stop. Yellow is Yield. Green is Go.

So should I go now, slow down, and stop completely at a stand-still?

Or should I stop now, start slow, then go through with the motions.

At the rate I’m falling now…I may hit the bottom of the ocean.

I’m running out of metaphors, I think I have hit the bottom line.

Like basically, I like you. I can see Love if we both try.

 

I’m not sure if you know this poem is about you. I’d be disappointed if you couldn’t decipher

if your right from what I write.

Sometimes I feel like you know me so well, but there’s a lot of stuff I hide.

Like my smile behind my pride. The pain behind my eyes. The fear behind my laugh. These feelings behind these lines.

 

Truthfully, I had to write this to get you off my mind.

Unfortunately, right now I don’t have time.

 

I have tunnel vision. Right now I’m at that red light.

I’ma take my time tho, until that light mellows out to yellow.

When I have my goals straight, my thoughts in place, and my dreams at the finish line.

If you’re still there waiting, I’ll come pick you up on the way.

 

All I ask of you is not to feel obligated to wait on me.

I’m still waiting on myself.

I’d rather put development into myself, instead of you accompanying me on the trail and errors.

I want to be ready. I have yet to discover my full self.

I guess I wrote this piece to express these feelings subliminally.

I’ll laugh when you think this poem is about you, but

Who else could it be?

 

Peace,

 

Leighrick