Tag: Feelings

Confessions

Posted in First Love, Pieces of PoetryTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

So as I recline behind these lies

Seeking to find my own peace of mind, avoiding the real troubles of life.

I take a step back behind the glass of my memories museum, to look at myself in the complicating process and try to explain

why my body’s dictionary defines you as necessary.

I feel nostalgic, because I am longing to re-embrace that one time you and I shared the same smile.

Only that is in the past…and this dedication to you is a blast from the future.

 

So as I sit at my computer —

 

Trying to let the past marinate into my fingers,

enabling  my conscience to go through this hard laboring pain,

of motioning my words and molding them into the harsh daggers of the truth compiled of words

developing into similes & personifications.

They stop…

While my minds racing, yet nothing is appearing upon the screen because in reality….

Depicting my feelings onto one lonely piece of paper is just like talking to myself,

only the pen is responding with curves and loops,

and all that’s left written on the paper was the word

Liar……

 

[Liar:”to be untruthful“]

 

See the lies Ive told you, allowed me to realize…

Love isn’t strong enough. Love isn’t visible or existing, just like time.

I’ve discovered: “Love is an ability, not a feeling“.

And noticing the stupidity of being played, makes you feel even worse than having

your heart broken by someone who had a mutual feeling of “Love”

 

Today…

I came across my emotions, and every night before that I go to sleep,

With my heart still asking me…Why?

Why do I keep allowing my heart to get tangled in the obstacles of this game you normal beings call life?

 

Let me sit and list:

All the times I was fine with calling you back to your convenience.

All the times I didn’t mind if you didn’t have the time to kick back. (again to your convenience)

All the times I told you that you weren’t wasting my time,

 

But see there’s when I lied

Because you always felt it necessary to bless me with your presence or voice,

whenever you were bored out of your mind, or feeling a bit “lonely” on the bed-side.

But now its about time I be upfront, because with our relationship was comprised of lies.

 

I just wish I had the courage to tell you the truth.

Instead of hearing you repeat ever so famous white lie.

“I Love You Too Baby”

 

-Leighrick©

Offically Missing You

Posted in Love, Pieces of PoetryTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I’m lost confused as to what to do.
Sometimes I wish you could just walk a couple steps in my shoes,
Feel the pain I’m feeling from how much I’m missing you.
And I swear that’s sayings true, cause you cannot have the cake if your trying to eat it too.
Meaning I can not be your lover, only a homie…not even your boo.
Yet I continue to baby you.
Through and through, and through and through…I’ve met plenty of dudes, but can’t progress cause I stay comparing them to you.
It hurts because you love her, they love you, and I’m just here helping you get through it all.
I do things I don’t do, I say things I don’t say,
I’ve distanced myself from others, longing to have you one of these days, but your routine stays the same.
You don’t know what your feeling, through one ear and out the other…
through one year passes another and I’m still not with you.
People begging me, pleading for me to leave you, and
I inch away retracing my steps right back…
I’m breaking my back and your hardly bending yours.
Yours, Mines, Ours forever …we say–
I’m yours and your mine…
that’s how I wake up each morning, with a reoccurring dream hoping life has changed.
Either me not loving you, or you finally recognizing me…

Hopefully it’s not too late, and you’ve become either a mistake or stay a dream.
Our relationship is getting sicker, because it’s only me participating
yet my feelings get thicker, and you present yourself
here and there…
I still don’t see you.
In the beginning we started off solid, oblivious as to when life would hit…
But it did, hard
Because I feel, I’m the only one living through this
You’re not yourself and for sometime you’ve been missing.

I guess this poem is a point to say that I’m Officially Missing You.
-Leighrick

Dont Be Afraid

Posted in Love, Pieces of PoetryTagged , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

My greatest fear is love, because the thought of you kills me.

How can someone be so involved, but idle in presence.

You fit the description, and I guess I’ve died because I feel we’re a match made in heaven.

God has given us the gift; the present isn’t enough for me.

I want to travel through the future, and smile because I’m glad you grew old with me.

You’ve been my blanket in the cold, and my soul at times I could no longer burden such emotions.

I can’t even gain control of me.

My minds eye must be blind to true reality because us together, to me feels too much like a fantasy.

When I look into your eyes I see myself, and if you look into to mine you’ll see yourself too.

I sacrifice body, soul, and mind and devote my time to know what rhythm your heart beats and try and coordinate mine to do the same, because I want us to be one.

The Essence of a relationship is not each of us giving 50% because that’s selfish.

I want to give you 100% of me, and I hope you’d do the same because I want our relationship to be 200% better than the rest.

When we kiss, I don’t want it to be because of the passion we have for one another, but because lips can do two things.

1. Lips can capture the unspeakable.

2. Lips can speak the unthinkable

So when we lay down and make love and I’m silent, kiss me because I’m thinking what you’re feeling.

Then Kiss me again because I’ve spoke consciously and told you “I Love You“

Conclusively, I fear my feelings for you are too deep, my dreams for us are too big, and the verbal expression of my feelings for you will be too late.

Should I be worried?

–Leighrick

Pain I Can Touch

Posted in Pieces of PoetryTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I cut my hand on the bus today,

accidentally on purpose.

I cannot explain to you

how elated I was

and think you’d be able to fathom it.

I mean,

I was able to feel pain.

For those of you who

think this is about me being “emotionally numb“,

….

….

You’re wrong.

I am happy,

Finally…

Finally I feel a pain

I can do something about.

I can see it, touch it, and I can nurture it.

—

—

I rushed home,

instead of grabbing the alcohol,

I grabbed the peroxide,

Washed my hands twice,

and applied an even coat of Neosporin.

I dropped everything when I entered my room.

I laid on my bed, staring at in awe of my palm.

I cannot stop smiling.

Finally,

I have been hurt, but

I can do something about it.

I can see the wound,  putting a band-aid for comfort.

I can watch my bodies progression, as the new skin arrives,

reminding me that this pain is only temporary.

Overjoyed that I remember my blood is red and not black.

I guess you can say,

it cut me on the right hand,

but really…

it did.

This pain influenced this poem, so I took some advice and

I

Showed

My

Pain.

-Leighrick

Chocolate High

Posted in Love, Pieces of PoetryTagged , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

He sent me four page letters, enclosed with “I Love You’s“, kissed compliments, and hope filled hugs so that I never feel alone.
When I thought I am too weak to stand, he is my backbone.

The sun begins to rise as my eyes begin to close.
I drift off into a land of my own; where thoughts manifest dreams, and the chase after them never seems to cease.
Though I always seem close, I am obsessed with triumph.
Unconsciously I dispute sleep.
Playing Shepard I count sheep, but wolves are recurrently embodying the bad dreams.
If I rest my heart my mind will follow?
Suggesting it’ll beat me to death before the scars and flaws are perfected.

Nevertheless

He is medicine.
Every dose of him releases dopamine, and love regenerates my body.

I’d say….
he’s the better half of me.

Better yet —
If he is a cube, I am the squares, that combined with the depth and passion makes us whole.

Likewise — He fills all the holes.

Together attaining goals.
Aspiring and Inspiring.

He is the key I thought I threw away, and cannot be duplicated.

His heart is gold; though our love invaluable…
He is King to me.
I his Queen.
His lap, my throne.

Reading these letters and holding on to his lips for everlasting kisses.
In his smile, in his eyes, in his words, in his touch,
Whenever I feel unknowingly felt lost…
I find home in his love.

He gave me that key.

Alas — no more running through homelessness.
No more love-seats, no more couches…

At the moment, while I sleep
His chest is my mattress, and he whispers spirited harmonies
ensuring that my dreams are sweet.

So as my environment seems real, my real is a fantasy.
We met on the shores of the beach, a special place.

With notebooks consumed with these letters narrating our story.

To be continued….

With Love,
–Leighrick

Theft

Posted in Pieces of PoetryTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Across the way

Within the midst of the shadows

Spotted are hooded eyes.

Surprisingly seen peeking.

Brown skin, Chocolate

of African/Latin descent, certainly not Puerto Rican

Long black hair resting on the shoulder,

Sliding down the back.

Unsure if it’s a dress or a shirt made from scratch.

Olives sitting in grey skies used to describe her eyes.

Your name consuming temptation,

If my number was served on a platter would you take?

On the days when loneliness is felt,

Can I replace the emptiness?

Feelings of a baby longing to be held close to your chest.

Or

I can be your baby?

We can be the wind blowing trees as the sun sets.

On this bus, a diamond in the rough.

A jewel not worthy of a nickname.

Crown Royal

Intoxicating Thoughts.

This woman is poison.

Our presence is one in the same.

Tho the sun clings to your being

The way that your sitting,

The light shinning behind you, a glow.

I want to be your shadow

Watching your back and every step you may take.

Excuse me again, but

You dropped your Halo.

I’ll bend down to pick it up, but

When I bend down, I might stay there

Manipulating the Halo into a ring

Since I’m already down on bending knee.

Is that too fast?

I’ve seen love in a glance,

but never at first sight.

My eyes water every time you smile,

Like I want to be the water when you take a bath.

Motion still, so instilled in you is relaxing.

The bubbles resemble clouds,

and you an Aphrodisiac, the being of a Goddess.

Quiet heart felt confessions, but who’s perception?

Curiosity is lingering..

Like the cologne in the hug that I gave before I left.

Theft…

–Leighrick

An Ode to Roller Coasters

Posted in LoveTagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Please excuse me if it seems like I’m just going through the motions.

It’s just I never rode this roller-coaster.

this is my first time and I’m so full of emotions.

I’ve been through so many loops, being upside down was normal to me.

The pain of heart dropping into my stomach, has never been attended to.

But with you, this ride is different, its a natural high without a

destination, unless its towards everlasting ecstasy.

Some think they’re at the top and that’s when their carts get stuck.

Then they drop unexpectedly yet it was secretly anticipated.

Even still, this roller-coaster has been shaky.

My heart is finally tied down, security.

However, this bliss might just be my mind playing tricks on me.

Because unlike like the others on this ride,

I don’t scream.

 

-Leighrick