Tag: Consciousness

Please Don’t Catch Me

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Placing my heart in his hands,  he embrace it.

Trying to describe falling in love with him, is like describing colors to the blind.

My heart has finally realized what my head has known all this time..

He Loves Me.

He looks into me, my eyes feeding his ego..

I mean

I catch myself being so deep,

that I can see the reflection of my smile taking the shape of his soul.

He Loves Me.

This is how I express my love to you —

Descriptions of him taken by every pleasurable adjective

I can try  to further elaborate my feelings…

But I begin to make up words..

He heals me.

I fell so hard into this hole we’ve dug, that we know we can never stop falling.

It’s not  just one thing, or somethings, its everything.

He is my everything, a gifted by his presence everyday?

He kisses me, I inhale his seconds of breath.

I sink into his mouth

He ingests my every reflex,

Dreams have become a tease,  cravings and wishes of you here,

have been replaced with the warmth and realness of your skin.

Love is an endless battle, he fights for me.

I’ve fallen for all that which my warrior defends.

His love for me,

but

I cant sleep, if I do I dream about you…and when I dream, I cant sleep…

Its too hard to be without you..

I whisper in your ear the depths ecstasy, I long for you to see.

I wish I could lay my head on your chest, allowing you to be all I need…

Suddenly,

He holds me.

In the still of the night.

I am restless.

He places me on top of him, and I fall asleep

to the rhythm of his heartbeats.

Even a thousand miles away,

He loves me.

Unconditionally.

Even with a heart of gold is my talk still cheap?

Music isn’t soothing to me.

This page is comforting my spirit, but my body is still lonely,

I miss you…

My pen strokes illustrate your energy.

I begin to float towards him.

Hijacking the wings of hopes and prayers to get to you, any way I can.

If I make my wish, will you still grant it?

The shooting star heading exactly in the direction I want…

But I’m taking my time with him…

Everything about him makes me want to exceed all boundaries.

Surpassing our present reality;

Moving mountains, Throwing rain…

His body as my promise land,

His heart as my home.

I LOVE HIM.

-Leighrick

This Plane

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As I’m on this plane, I’m writing our names in the clouds.

Though I miss you extremely despite the elevation I still feel high.

It’s almost impossible to explain your touch, the clouds know it’s hard to keep dry eyes.

This seat is uncomfortable because it’s not your lap.

My body will ache for some months because your not attached, and all these people need to shut the fuck up because they sound nothing like your laugh.

When the train arrived your words hugged me the whole ride, giving me the comfort of knowing this isn’t a goodbye.

That whole ride I cried, I still feel as though I’m dying inside.

Instead like the winds you kept strong for me.

I saw the love in your eyes and felt the warmth in your heart.

I know things will change temporarily but what remains is the love in our hearts.

I’ll always be there and you’ll always be here.

No one nor thing will be able to fill the void in our hearts.

A race against insanity, seems like life never wants us to get a head start.

I feel miserable, I want to cry, but deep inside I know my tears aren’t invisible.

I don’t these people bugging asking me what’s wrong.

I might scream, and curse…cause deep inside I wanna strap something to chest and let them all feel my hurt.

I’m shaking my head.

I keep complaining, and complaining this feeling isnt forever.

Already my heads getting fucked up, no more time to be selfish…

this battle is against time.

I have end this because the more I write,
the more tears that build up.

Just know that I’m with you.

I Love You.

-Leighrick

Love-o-holics Anonymous

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Spear.

Right through the empty cavity.

That’s the similarity between love,

Get caught up in the sweets, you catch a hollow tooth, aka an empty cavity.

Now my tooth’s hollow, like my chest.

What’s the point of having a heart if it’s cold and steadily pumping animosity.

I just wanna down some Pain Killers,

I am sure they can kill these thoughts for me.

Drink a whole 5th to myself, I want to throw up all these memories.

Stick a needle in my vein, just to bring me relief.

I wish I never heard the truth, because I did better when I was blinded by the lies.

I look up wanting to scream.

I can’t sleep,

I wish Freddie was real, walk through my door, and murder me.

That’s only a dream.

I wish you never heard of me.

Love is the nightmare.

I swallowed many fallacies,

That I regurgitated his personality.

Now my guards back up, and my blood is as cold and thin as ice.

The only thing I ever vow to give my all is this pen.

The seasons changed and  in Spring he showed his true colors.

Ironic my Winter was Summer, but this Summer I will most likely Fall victim to my anger.

My hearts been beaten several times before this, what’s the point of attempting restoring it?

Put some alcohol in the wounds.

I can stay aware,

I’m not trying to get played again.

Defense wins championships, I’m never letting love score again…

From now on it’s just:

Me, This Pen, and Time.

–Leighrick

Harmonized Healing

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I laid, staring into the darkness.

Cramped between the shadows

created by the emptiness between the bars,

and coarseness of the walls.

 

I pick up a shard of broken glass,

glance into it,

and ask:

 

Where am I?

 

The deeper I enter into the darkness,

I recollect:

 

“Live with the heart, and the mind will follow?”

 

Mindless Behavior.

 

We had owned the night —

 

I was Love Drunk,

and was caught drinking and driving.

 

I pulled over,

The officer saw my brain in the back seat and asked,

“Why aren’t you in switched positions?”

 

I was imprisoned.

 

My heart was my cell mate, and unfortunately

my mind came up short on bail.

 

Within time,

My heart and I got off on good behavior,

we entered a halfway house.

 

Almost there, yet so far to go…

 

I turned my back on the present,

and headed back towards the past,

because it was what I felt closest to.

 

RELAPSE

 

I am on my 3rd strike.

 

I saw the not so distant futures, and headed back, except

my heart was so stubborn it decided to stay behind.

 

Reacquainted with my mind, we set out on a search for my lowly heart.

 

Roaming the streets of memory lane,

we found it —

It laid, left for dead,

beaten and cold.

Rapidly bleeding out hope, it cried for faithfulness.

 

“Forgive Me!”

 

Left in the state of panic, my body went vacant.

 

Nevertheless —

 

My mind blanketed that heart,

and eased the cries, replacing them with trustworthiness.

 

However,

My heart began to shake,

a seizure…caused by the cascade of emotions

 

—

 

—

 

But then —

 

The gentle mind kissed the heart,

and beyond the shadow of doubt,

the Soul ascended.

 

She brought diligence to the body,

ceased the misery of the mind,

and revived the heart.

 

For the broken reflection in the mirror had been repaired.

 

—

 

The Soul smiled brighter than the guidance of the Northern Star,

the Heart blushed warmer than the Sun,

the Mind journeyed out the darkest shadows of space,

and the body became ONE…

 

and it was Harmonized.

 

I am comfortable again,

laying in my own bed, lost in my smile…

 

-Leighrick

Hurricane Emotion

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She turned her back on everything

Yet

The world is still revolving around her.

Time is non-directional, yet it always moves forward

She’s living in the past;

“the has been“s and “the had“s.

 

Her eyes embodying the oceans…

A sea of tears.

She tried to swim through Hurricane Emotion

But

Her life’s guard was off duty.

 

She drowned in the lies, because she let her guard down.

Heart broken like a levy

Only left to wallow in her own agony.

 

Everyone saw, but no one cloud help.

Many predicted the storm, but she denied the forecast.

 

That’s when the spiraling down came,

A tornado came ripping off her security blanket.

Now she sits as she arrived in this world…naked.

 

Cold.

The storm is no where near over,

The eye of the storm still precipitating mis-beliefs.

 

Unable to sleep through the pain.

She tries to maintain body heat, but in her most sacred place the lights are out.

 

Where she lies awaiting predetermined rescue..

The foundation cracks.

She’s falling threw the hole shes dug herself…Relapse.

 

She looked to the cross, but found no answers within all the red.

If FEMA couldn’t save Katrina,

What kind of hope should she have left?

 

Numb.

Living physically, but mentally paralyzed.

She looked into the eye of the storm, but she was only showered with more dishonesty.

 

She can’t detach herself from what she built.

Blood, Trust, and Love went into what she built.

Even when they threw dirt on her, she continued to build.

 

Covered in Filth,

But showered in Faith.

She’s now,

Fed up and stagnant.

Confused cause she’s living in days of darkness,

When just across the fence the grass is greener on the other side.

 

But

She keeps faith.

Faith that one day this Monster House

Will become a Master House,

When she’s no longer enslaved by her emotions.

 

The contract contradicts the blue prints.

The feelings filled up to the ceiling,

She doesn’t have insurance to cover that.

Feeling like, she just wants her parents to get that life insurance check.

 

She asks for reassurance, and that triggers a land slide.

She was sliding down the land she once  stood strong, and tall on.

Everything she’s sacrificed is now tumbling with her.

Now she’s falling to the depths of the emotional wreckage.

 

How can she ever fathom trust again.

Her hearts gone bankrupt,

Mind said fuck it,

She is about to give up, and settle for that single bedroom apartment.

 

Whose to say she’s going to survive the other storms to come.

Whose to say she won’t.

 

She could be dead because she’s stupid, or living because she fell in love with a joke.

 

-Leighrick

 

Bed Spread

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There’s too much confusion just to let the dust settle.

The shit hit the fan, and now my heart is in shambles.

Trying to pick-up all the pieces to the puzzle, but those missing have been swept under the rug.

I got this illness…

Love Sick.

Curious, yet left without answers

The bush is not the only thing being beaten around.

I no longer wake up with a smile,

Now I live in a frown.

My heart is building up its walls again, a safer house.

Resentment unfortunately is the foundation for my anger.

These lies have enclosed my heart in inflammation.

My mind couldn’t keep its thoughts off premeditated suicide.

I enter the panic room.

I put this love gun to my temple, as tears of passion run down my cheeks;

While my trigger finger frees me, and fills my medulla-oblongata with these hollow tip uncertainties.

Bloodshed, my loves sinks beneath me, and a sea of red is engulfed by my bedsheets.

Death Bed.

My last thought hoping some trtuh will come of sacrifice.

Label me another

“Premeditated Love Suicide“

-Leighrick

Offically Missing You

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I’m lost confused as to what to do.
Sometimes I wish you could just walk a couple steps in my shoes,
Feel the pain I’m feeling from how much I’m missing you.
And I swear that’s sayings true, cause you cannot have the cake if your trying to eat it too.
Meaning I can not be your lover, only a homie…not even your boo.
Yet I continue to baby you.
Through and through, and through and through…I’ve met plenty of dudes, but can’t progress cause I stay comparing them to you.
It hurts because you love her, they love you, and I’m just here helping you get through it all.
I do things I don’t do, I say things I don’t say,
I’ve distanced myself from others, longing to have you one of these days, but your routine stays the same.
You don’t know what your feeling, through one ear and out the other…
through one year passes another and I’m still not with you.
People begging me, pleading for me to leave you, and
I inch away retracing my steps right back…
I’m breaking my back and your hardly bending yours.
Yours, Mines, Ours forever …we say–
I’m yours and your mine…
that’s how I wake up each morning, with a reoccurring dream hoping life has changed.
Either me not loving you, or you finally recognizing me…

Hopefully it’s not too late, and you’ve become either a mistake or stay a dream.
Our relationship is getting sicker, because it’s only me participating
yet my feelings get thicker, and you present yourself
here and there…
I still don’t see you.
In the beginning we started off solid, oblivious as to when life would hit…
But it did, hard
Because I feel, I’m the only one living through this
You’re not yourself and for sometime you’ve been missing.

I guess this poem is a point to say that I’m Officially Missing You.
-Leighrick