Hurricane Emotion

She turned her back on everything

Yet

The world is still revolving around her.

Time is non-directional, yet it always moves forward

She’s living in the past;

the has been“s and “the had“s.

 

Her eyes embodying the oceans…

A sea of tears.

She tried to swim through Hurricane Emotion

But

Her life’s guard was off duty.

 

She drowned in the lies, because she let her guard down.

Heart broken like a levy

Only left to wallow in her own agony.

 

Everyone saw, but no one cloud help.

Many predicted the storm, but she denied the forecast.

 

That’s when the spiraling down came,

A tornado came ripping off her security blanket.

Now she sits as she arrived in this world…naked.

 

Cold.

The storm is no where near over,

The eye of the storm still precipitating mis-beliefs.

 

Unable to sleep through the pain.

She tries to maintain body heat, but in her most sacred place the lights are out.

 

Where she lies awaiting predetermined rescue..

The foundation cracks.

She’s falling threw the hole shes dug herself…Relapse.

 

She looked to the cross, but found no answers within all the red.

If FEMA couldn’t save Katrina,

What kind of hope should she have left?

 

Numb.

Living physically, but mentally paralyzed.

She looked into the eye of the storm, but she was only showered with more dishonesty.

 

She can’t detach herself from what she built.

Blood, Trust, and Love went into what she built.

Even when they threw dirt on her, she continued to build.

 

Covered in Filth,

But showered in Faith.

She’s now,

Fed up and stagnant.

Confused cause she’s living in days of darkness,

When just across the fence the grass is greener on the other side.

 

But

She keeps faith.

Faith that one day this Monster House

Will become a Master House,

When she’s no longer enslaved by her emotions.

 

The contract contradicts the blue prints.

The feelings filled up to the ceiling,

She doesn’t have insurance to cover that.

Feeling like, she just wants her parents to get that life insurance check.

 

She asks for reassurance, and that triggers a land slide.

She was sliding down the land she once  stood strong, and tall on.

Everything she’s sacrificed is now tumbling with her.

Now she’s falling to the depths of the emotional wreckage.

 

How can she ever fathom trust again.

Her hearts gone bankrupt,

Mind said fuck it,

She is about to give up, and settle for that single bedroom apartment.

 

Whose to say she’s going to survive the other storms to come.

Whose to say she won’t.

 

She could be dead because she’s stupid, or living because she fell in love with a joke.

 

-Leighrick

 

Good Bye to the Marvins

Knock, Knock

 “Who goes there?”

 Marvin!

I ask, “Marvin who?“, and then the knocking stops…

 I ask, “Is this the same Marvin, who spent his days locked up in that room where everything happened?”

 [Yes]

He’s calling me:

Intoxicated with Regret and High off Pride?

Dressed head to toe in the suit of persuasion with selfish fragrance.

A man sick, because of his cold heart.

A man who lacks guidance, empty, because he lacks soul..

[Yes]

The one who intrudes up my phone, begging and pleading me?

Disrespecting, the man I maybe with, someone I had hoped for him to be.

Now longing to be reacquainted, because I shortened our relationship and ceased all communication.

[Yes]

The one who blinded me?

The reason I am no longer able to look into his eyes, and realize potential.

I only see who you are now.

The true intentions in the eyes of this individual.

I am peeping through this peephole, with the eyes of the people.

Everyone who claims to have known “Love“, heard the bells ringing,

they saw the white fences, gowns, and pictured bands around their fingers.

Until they heard the church bells, and instead knocking on the door, God knocked the walls down.

Reminding you, that you can answer the call and respond to his messages,

but keep in mind he has the wrong message in the texts he’s sent —

You know you accidentally ignore the call, knowing he’s to prideful to apologize,

but the silence of his emotions will leave that voicemail.

And it continues…

[Marvin’s at the door yelling]

Fuck that new dude that you love so bad!”

 [I’m yelling back]

Fuck you too, for not realizing what you had!

 [Marvin Yells]

“I know you still think about the times we had!”

 [I open the door]

Exactly baby that’s the point, had as in the past.

You are now just a memory…

I’ve put you behind the glass, reminding myself to cherish the experience, but never relive the misery.

I’ve relieved myself of thoughts that you could ever change & will never be honest with yourself nor I.

[Slams the door]

Now go back to those females, that play your game.

 [Knock, Knock]

“Who is it?”

[Marvin]: “I’m just saying you could do better — tell me have you heard that lately?

[Me]: To answer your question, yes people have BEEN telling, I can do better…

And I know you’ve been hearing that from other females regularly.

You fell into it.

I haven’t tried —

I’m not able end something I once put my all in, and move onto something new, rejuvenated.

And although I haven’t decided to do better,

the door of opportunity is locked.

So now you can sit and continue your addiction of looking at random broads naked pictures, and talking about how you almost had me fooled.

But I’m glad you came knocking on my door; I finally peeped my head through the hole you were digging me.

Otherwise I would never be able to climb out and brush the dirt from those feelings off my chest,

And the saying: “The grass is greener on the other side“….

Might mean a lot more to you.

You can keep my heart and that tag around your neck as a memorandum of the things you’ve sacrificed for less.

With that said,

Let us have a toast for the Marvins,

and I say

GoodBYE to the Marvins.

-Leighrick

Seeing Sinking Ships

Seeing Sinking Ships

I see you rowing the boat I was once stuck in.

I was looking for an island or somewhere to rest my head,

Cause I was stressing from the questions.

I was hurt from the guilt of winds that kept blowing in my direction.

I know it hurts and even with a life vest on, it still feels as tho you’re drowning.

That relation-ship’s anchor broke loose and left a hole.

You’re sinking in your melancholy, yet you find yourself floating in the right direction.

Peep the radars, even in extreme stealth they’ll still manage to find you.

Hearts ain’t no joke, so what’s suppose to be punchlines are more like knockouts.

Some how this all defines you —

What do you do when the person you love defies you?

All this time staring love in the face, but it was made up…

They threw your heart back in your face, you were being lied to.

What should you do?

Your heart cant think, but your mind is the reason you feel the way you do.

All the broken promises and fuzzy memories.

I remember — you don’t need to keep reminding me of what we use to be!

How could this even be?

How was I not able to see?

Falling for another, yet you always seem to catch me.

I had grown complacent with it being a thought,  maybe even a reoccurring dream, but I refuse to make this pain my reality.

Leighrick