Hurricane Emotion

She turned her back on everything

Yet

The world is still revolving around her.

Time is non-directional, yet it always moves forward

She’s living in the past;

the has been“s and “the had“s.

 

Her eyes embodying the oceans…

A sea of tears.

She tried to swim through Hurricane Emotion

But

Her life’s guard was off duty.

 

She drowned in the lies, because she let her guard down.

Heart broken like a levy

Only left to wallow in her own agony.

 

Everyone saw, but no one cloud help.

Many predicted the storm, but she denied the forecast.

 

That’s when the spiraling down came,

A tornado came ripping off her security blanket.

Now she sits as she arrived in this world…naked.

 

Cold.

The storm is no where near over,

The eye of the storm still precipitating mis-beliefs.

 

Unable to sleep through the pain.

She tries to maintain body heat, but in her most sacred place the lights are out.

 

Where she lies awaiting predetermined rescue..

The foundation cracks.

She’s falling threw the hole shes dug herself…Relapse.

 

She looked to the cross, but found no answers within all the red.

If FEMA couldn’t save Katrina,

What kind of hope should she have left?

 

Numb.

Living physically, but mentally paralyzed.

She looked into the eye of the storm, but she was only showered with more dishonesty.

 

She can’t detach herself from what she built.

Blood, Trust, and Love went into what she built.

Even when they threw dirt on her, she continued to build.

 

Covered in Filth,

But showered in Faith.

She’s now,

Fed up and stagnant.

Confused cause she’s living in days of darkness,

When just across the fence the grass is greener on the other side.

 

But

She keeps faith.

Faith that one day this Monster House

Will become a Master House,

When she’s no longer enslaved by her emotions.

 

The contract contradicts the blue prints.

The feelings filled up to the ceiling,

She doesn’t have insurance to cover that.

Feeling like, she just wants her parents to get that life insurance check.

 

She asks for reassurance, and that triggers a land slide.

She was sliding down the land she once  stood strong, and tall on.

Everything she’s sacrificed is now tumbling with her.

Now she’s falling to the depths of the emotional wreckage.

 

How can she ever fathom trust again.

Her hearts gone bankrupt,

Mind said fuck it,

She is about to give up, and settle for that single bedroom apartment.

 

Whose to say she’s going to survive the other storms to come.

Whose to say she won’t.

 

She could be dead because she’s stupid, or living because she fell in love with a joke.

 

-Leighrick

 

Restless Nights

Another restless night

Woken up by the constant coughing that’s been going on for months.

A mind racing to beat the thoughts of loneliness.

Sprint to the bathroom

and rinse your face with the melting ice from your heart.

Look in the mirror into the eyes that scream dedication.

Clean the tongue that swallows all the sweet & sour lies.

Wipe the mouth that thirst for affection.

Wash the disappointment from your face

Back to Bed.

Using the pillow cover the ears...the walls keep calling.

Keep the lights off…

Darkness is Misery’s Best Friend.

Slip into a deep coma.

Dreams become an euphoria; then you awake and

Begin the battle with nightmares…Also.Known.As Reality.

-Leighrick

Tasting the Grape Vine

Open your eyes

I know it’s bright

The enlightenment

I can smell the fear

I can taste the excitement.

If you look past the horizon.

I am what you’ll find.

Out the box,

Can’t nobody keep me from flying.

I can hear the uncertainty in your voice,

It’s easy to tell you’ve been lying,

Down with conformity.

I’ll always stand tall

Like my knees don’t bend.

Tell a friend, to tell a friend

I want my name to nourish the grape vine.

My message is in plain sight,

You just have to be blind enough to hear.

Ray Charles to the bullshit

Hellen Keller to the greatest.

Word…

 -Leighrick

Bed Spread

There’s too much confusion just to let the dust settle.

The shit hit the fan, and now my heart is in shambles.

Trying to pick-up all the pieces to the puzzle, but those missing have been swept under the rug.

I got this illness…

Love Sick.

Curious, yet left without answers

The bush is not the only thing being beaten around.

I no longer wake up with a smile,

Now I live in a frown.

My heart is building up its walls again, a safer house.

Resentment unfortunately is the foundation for my anger.

These lies have enclosed my heart in inflammation.

My mind couldn’t keep its thoughts off premeditated suicide.

I enter the panic room.

I put this love gun to my temple, as tears of passion run down my cheeks;

While my trigger finger frees me, and fills my medulla-oblongata with these hollow tip uncertainties.

Bloodshed, my loves sinks beneath me, and a sea of red is engulfed by my bedsheets.

Death Bed.

My last thought hoping some trtuh will come of sacrifice.

Label me another

Premeditated Love Suicide

-Leighrick

Semi Auto Biography

AS

I boomed the box that music yelled out of; I gave birth {Chaot!c}, and like Geppeto did Pinocchio molded her into me, Leighrick. This means that we are Chaos. {Chaot!c} climbed out my mouth, she phoned home to the mic, and Leighrick born enraged killed this pad with my pen. She pulled the words out my soul very grotesquely. They examined the lines, they called it a holy mess. They labeled this crime scene a catastrophe. Through the mirror they gave me a cold stare, as {Chaot!c} began to write on the walls.

The Four Walls Read:

Wall 1:

They only hunt me because my swank is extinct. Last of a dying breed. Endangered Species. You almost caught me.”

Leighrick

Every where they went, they left trails of authenticity. Originality is now a crime, follow the rest. These felons are wanted for handwriting life sentences. It seems they became restless, the pen was the choice of weapon, and the paper became the victim…

They Turned.

Wall 2: The Story of Life!

The chemicals spilled mixed with the mic, and experienced technical difficulties with our vocal chords. Your imagination has short circuited.

-{Chaot!c}

Spelled out in the spilled ink was Leighrick. A Nuclear Devastation. {Chaot!c} became jealous and stalked her. She seeped into her soul and she absorbed it like a sponge…

By the time they got to read what the 4th wall, they had vanished. More to the left was a hole is the wall curved to fit the shape of her multiple personalities, yet it was the shape of a music note.

Wall 3 had read: “Freedom Rings, Peaces!“.

Staring at signatures, they sat there with the most sour grimace, and repeated

Wall 4:”Sanity is Fiction and Dreams are Reality

– Candace

Sincerely,

{Chaot!c}, Leighrick, & Candace…

Am I?

To whom it may concern,

 

Am I really of much help to you, I felt your heart thaw as I held it in my hand..I felt is pump bass, like you were part of my band.. I thought I was of importance when you told me you loved me.. I’m on the bottom shelf, a lot of other shit is above me? Do you love me?

 

Or do I just resemble the other half of your sign, How come I’m always late at least half of the time, how come I have to pay for some other peoples crimes? When the world dulls you out, I still see your shine..

 

I’m just saying, I love you but what am I really to you? Truthfully speaking it’s some crazy shit I would do, just to make you smile, just to hear you maybe once cry out to me, if I am one ocean, then your my seven seas. Ima die over you, you’re my favorite damn disease. The funny thing about it, is its only you I aim to please.

 

Am I more than just temporary, a fling left in July?
Let me know now, cause the love I have is legendary.

 -Leighrick

Confessions

So as I recline behind these lies

Seeking to find my own peace of mind, avoiding the real troubles of life.

I take a step back behind the glass of my memories museum, to look at myself in the complicating process and try to explain

why my body’s dictionary defines you as necessary.

I feel nostalgic, because I am longing to re-embrace that one time you and I shared the same smile.

Only that is in the past…and this dedication to you is a blast from the future.

 

So as I sit at my computer —

 

Trying to let the past marinate into my fingers,

enabling  my conscience to go through this hard laboring pain,

of motioning my words and molding them into the harsh daggers of the truth compiled of words

developing into similes & personifications.

They stop…

While my minds racing, yet nothing is appearing upon the screen because in reality….

Depicting my feelings onto one lonely piece of paper is just like talking to myself,

only the pen is responding with curves and loops,

and all that’s left written on the paper was the word

Liar……

 

[Liar:”to be untruthful“]

 

See the lies Ive told you, allowed me to realize…

Love isn’t strong enough. Love isn’t visible or existing, just like time.

I’ve discovered: “Love is an ability, not a feeling“.

And noticing the stupidity of being played, makes you feel even worse than having

your heart broken by someone who had a mutual feeling of “Love

 

Today…

I came across my emotions, and every night before that I go to sleep,

With my heart still asking me…Why?

Why do I keep allowing my heart to get tangled in the obstacles of this game you normal beings call life?

 

Let me sit and list:

All the times I was fine with calling you back to your convenience.

All the times I didn’t mind if you didn’t have the time to kick back. (again to your convenience)

All the times I told you that you weren’t wasting my time,

 

But see there’s when I lied

Because you always felt it necessary to bless me with your presence or voice,

whenever you were bored out of your mind, or feeling a bit “lonely” on the bed-side.

But now its about time I be upfront, because with our relationship was comprised of lies.

 

I just wish I had the courage to tell you the truth.

Instead of hearing you repeat ever so famous white lie.

“I Love You Too Baby”

 

-Leighrick©