Category: Love

Castles Made of Sand

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I hear my train comin’ as the hands on the clock get close to holding each other. 12 marks the spot. Midnight to be exact. When the darkness reveals its self in the beauty of the stars, and still hides in the light. There are too many stars to count; I wonder is it possible to run out of wishes? Well — I empty my pockets out into the pond. The change I’d pay the price to see. Within the ripples, [stop the music]….I’m not quite finished dreaming.

Listening to the winds singing, imagine we were dancing with stars. We can be the first to create life on Mars, and instead of counting sheep to fall asleep we sit and watch the cow measuring the circumference of the Moon.

Tonight it’s blue with a purple-ish tint,
I figured it’s been walked on, one too many times…

We are one of a kind, a love many couple wish they could explain — even better comprehend. So we pretend that our love doesn’t really exist. Like this is all just some fairy tale, because even those endings aren’t always happy. Secretly we’re happy. Publicly we’re ignorant and bliss is our shadows. And even from 2,000 miles I can hear my train coming. Midnight is leaving.

Questioning my sadness, why is love so deceiving? All board the train, I step foot on; then transforms into paper planes, and floats me back down onto my window seal.

Still.
I sit still.

I left for you, and you never came to get me. You’re guilty of stealing smiles. My innocence is steel, you can never penetrate the real me….I guess I am the one that’s guilty. That seems to be all I ever hear, judgements.

You never came to get me.

I heard my train coming, and I tried to wait patiently for you…you were never really here? I pushed you so far I thought you’d bounce back, instead you stayed in the clear. Far away from what I needed, but close to everything I wanted.

Power trips on bleeding hearts and exposes vulnerability. Now I am up all night counting how many sheep can idealistically equal a cow.

Memories take vacations, and some never bother to reappear. They become residents in complacency, neighboring fear. I AM NOT SCARED ANY MORE – only scarred.

How long does it take bruises to heal on broken hearts? ….

I guess this piece is just a start. We can still be a collage instead of a picture; there’s no such thing as perfect art! We haven’t practiced much anyways, but we can start. Take the best of you and best of me, embrace what we’ve become, actors call this role play.

THIS REAL, I feel it — at least I felt it. I mean I thought I had before.

The Pain — You keep digging holes trying to tunnel into my heart, but you’ve barely scratched the surface. You’ve been here before.

I choose to ignore the thoughts of you that rise like smoke when the train approaches.

Love. This is the shit that every one longs for?
That they wait so long for?
That they bend their backs and run laps trying to chase it, go through hurdles, and take long jumps for…. sacrifice.

That must be nice.

Being able to love the one you longed for….

I hear my train a coming. I see deep feelings rocking relationships. I smell the exhaust from the complaints.

Crash landing.

The one in a million we all mourn for.

No Love Lost,
-Leighrick

The Knowledge of an Alcoholic Junkie

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I feel as though I hit rock bottom in a bottomless pit.

 A Junkie on a mission; I’m just trynna get a hit.

 Rewinding life encounters,

 she took real offense to that “Fuck You” and that “Bitch“.

 I wasn’t naming calling…

I was just trynna understand a lil bit.

Just trying to figure out if these people here for me legit [?]

 

Wondering, am I really just a number…”7” to be specific.

 

It’s like

 I’m digging a whole with no shovel.

An Alcoholic on a mission, man I’m just trying to get a 5th.

 

I feel like he never really answered any of my prayers…

 Or maybe I’m just overlooking his gifts [?]

 

Just trying to figure out, why her and not me?

 Why him and not ole boy?

Why them and not my people that’s been trying so hard?

  

Jealousy is a trait.

Humility is with which I will be buried

&&

Life cannot be hurried.

 

I’m just saying though…I’m just going through it.

 

 Feel like I’m walking on thin ice, with cracks all through it.

 Just another Life-o-holic trynna get my head in some books, just to get my fix.

 Make knowledge into some real cool shit.

 

 I don’t really think y’all understand me, this is an addiction

 I don’t think I’ll ever be able to quit.

 

 I’m just…

an artist with vision and a pen, putting use to my instruments.

 

I’m just…Im just really going through it.

 

Just a junkie with a 5th, who called life a “Bitch“;

regrets it and is now on a mission towards knowledge.

 

Psshh…and Y’all are STILL left CLUELESS.

 

-Leighrick

 

Opposites Attract : You Can’t Choose Love

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She see’s the mask your hiding behind.

Your life is like a charades game.

You’re living with the finer things,

But she see’s your dying inside.

Leaving a piece of yourself with all these misses,

But what your missing is the mate; in which your soul’s been trying to find.

How can you find love,

If your not searching for the love you have for self?

Who hurt you, to make you hurt her?

Suddenly all those “last times” turn into an eternity

And now, when she hears “I’m sorry“, it’s meaningless.

Why?

Why do you do the opposite of what you feel?

Even still she suffers from love, because she just wants you feel.

Feel something!

She stuck in his story,

because he hasn’t dealt with what’s happened in the past.

She stays.

At a distance, but in a way

At an arms reach.

He sees, yes he sees too.

Past the facade she displays,

She’s weary, but her journey continues.

Not sure whether she should stay stationed in this storm until the sunshine,

or move on past the grey skies, because she aware of other shelter.

But why?

Why did she leave?

Why didn’t she stay?

Comprised beliefs.

False visions of the future.

Repressed disbelief.

But.

She stays.

He comes and goes as he pleases.

She stays.

Occasionally he sees himself in the mirror.

So…she stays.

Because she sees what he refuses.

He believes what she denies.

And still–

Love chooses to stay.

Love knows what they both don’t.

Love knows if and when to fade.

So,

When Love makes its decision.

They’ll both know the feeling of pain.

Either in dismiss or rejoice.

This rain,

This rain,

Hasn’t only rained on one persons house.

Still,

This journey of the Geminis continues,

so this too shall pass. . . . .

 –Leigrick

The Proposal

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I feel like I’ve been falling, but

I am down on bended knee.

 

With one hand out for you presenting a heart, and

the other handing you a key.

 

In my eyes you can see the pain,

behind yours I see purity.

 

Funny we’ve seemed to trade places, but

you’re one of the few I trust with my real identity.

 

Like the city I reside, I see your beauty through your faults.

Full of entertainment,

I’ve have become content with this smile you’ve left on my face.

 

Vibrant emotions.

 

I’ve been hurt, and

right now I am just kind of going through the motions,

Slow...

 

Keeping my heart beats above average, except

Skipping beats.

I find myself skipping to songs in the middle of the street.

Dancing with your voice, music to my ears.

 

Again,

I’m down, on one knee

offering you a fistful of tears.

 

And I figured you hate to see me cry, but

that is how you’ll know its real.

 

This key is not cliche,

not to my heart or the heartbreak hotel

 

However,

Its a key to my city,

lose all contact with me and find me if its real.

 

On the other hand

this heart I am offering, I’ve sculpted piece by piece.

Each scar a story, and

It may be a bit cold, but its still healing, and

It may be a bold, but I built it to be brave

which made it tough..

 

So,

If you take these items from my hands,

I place mine together asking you for your trust,

in exchange for my love.

 

–Leighrick

Sweetest Taboo

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Currently, my favorite word is “I“. One is the magic number.

Every conversation is like a confession; I know you want feedback.

I can be your dessert for thought, the sweetest taste of intellect.

While sleeping you hear the birds tweet, and you’ll follow them.

But only if they lead you to me.

I don’t normally look people in the eyes, but its your intentions Im trying to see.

I play it cool.

 

You try and let your mind go astray.

Finding yourself smiling; then you realize, you’ve been thinking of me all day.

You stop to wonder, do I think about you too?

[Maybe not the amount, but at least in the same ways]

 

If you tripped would I laugh, or would I bend down to tie your shoe?

Would I catch you? Are you falling?

I wouldn’t watch, I’d grab your hand and take you higher.

Aiming toward the moon, reaching for the stars.

Wading in the clouds.

 

I’m peeping through the hole that has been under construction…for a while.

You’re knockings on the gate are faint;unfortunately to your pleas of affection….

Currently I am deaf.

Mute, unheard of feelings, unshared emotions, my secrets are kept.

 

Decipher my pieces, and decode my being.

2pac saw death around the corner, I can only imagine

because I feel like Cupids stalking me.

 

I’m taking a light jog, you keep trying to race me full speed!

 

Cant spell potential, without potent.

Allowing my heart slow down a couple beats.

Like seeing a good menu you before you feast.

Time is deceptive that I’ve learned to use my watch as a piece.

So with this piece, I am allowing you access to a clue in my mystery.

I apologize if this so happens to play with your Psyche.

 

I just made a vow —

Never let my heart think, and never let my mind feel.

 

My headaches turn to heartaches, suddenly I wont feel shit.

I close my eyes and maintain my stride.

And see, when I get to the finish line…if your there at the end.

 

–Leighrick

When the Hands Touch

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I lifted my hand to raise the bar,

You lifted your hand with anger to discharge.

 

Flirting with poetic justice behind these thin bars.

It kills me to see this love dying.

 

 it’s even worse knowing I’m a part.

 

We started a garden, and you’ve mistreated our seeds.

It takes a city to raise a tree,

and a village to nurture their growth successfully.

 

To look at you is gruesome.

 

How did we split ways like X, come together, then arrive at an end like Z.

 

Furthermore,

Who am I to say?…the least

Who am I if I stay?

 

 I spread my wings as that of a seagull;

Heading towards the Bay because I see goals I’m striving to obtain.

 

 That I put behind your pride,

The same position you left the knife in my back.

Ashamed.

 

I rose to realize your lies and I were laying one in the same.

Instead I laid with my loves, our hearts one in the same.

 

You appear once again, at the crossroads of Insane and Who to blame.

Blame it on the Alcohol, the Girls, the Weed, just not Me.

 

You can point two fingers, but those other six aren’t pointed towards Me.

 

We were the arrows, when you felt lost

We pointed back, leaving you an open seat.

You chose paths before day broke.

 

is it the money?

 

Funny,

I wouldn’t pay a penny out of my 2-sense for a dollar worth of your thoughts.

Looking for a quarter figure in a dime worth no more then a nickel.

 

Money makes the world go round,

You’re circling betrayal chasing behind confusion.

This disillusion is far more real than what you can fathom, and still have yet to feel.

 

When the pain kicks in,

I hope the waters overflow the sky;

Allowing me to taste your tears in the raindrops during my parade.

 

I know your up there hiding somewhere…

 

Gone.

 

–Leighrick

Ace of Hearts

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I’ve felt the ground beneath my feet

I’ve felt the cloud in my palms,

Journeyed through Satan’s temple, and

Witnessed the gates guarding heavens doors —

All while loving you.

This isn’t easy baby,

I work hard to be sure you’re happy, and

It’s like you don’t even need me, baby

Have you thought about life without me?

I dream many nights you disappeared, but

Within them I lost myself en route to you.

I think I know you love me.

When you mistreat me, and  mislead me,

it makes it hard to see.

It’s hard loving you baby, but giving up is too easy.

Now your fading, fading, fading…

I find myself hugging you; really it’s just the photographs.

I use to smile at the thought of you, now a smirk struggles to raise a facade.

Where did we go wrong?

I cannot continue to manipulate happiness.

You introduced me to the stars, then left me in the dark.

I’m trying to rekindle the spark, but

its fading, fading, fading...

You’re so tame!

I wish you would fight for me:

Like rip the sheets off the bed, because

their touching me more than you are physically capable,

Like you don’t want to sleep with any pillows, because

You want my head to be pressed against your chest.

And

I count the rhythm of your heart beats.

We become in sync.

Make the sweetest music with our breaths, and then

come together again in our dreams.

My Love,

You use to be my solider now the words you drop mirror bombs.

Cold wars in the kitchen

Cold stares when you’ve been missing.

Folded arms no longer open for embrace.

Why are you acting so senseless, as if you’re emotionally bankrupt

and the place I had in you’re heart is now vacant, and being foreclosed – by You.

I’m faded.

I am everything without you,

we’re so much more when we’re together.

Birds of a feather — insert cliche].

I am naked and alone.

I’ve exposed myself to you !

You harbor the negatives and strip positives.

You’ve put a cloak over my emotions, and now…

I am no body to you.

Your clothes give me something to hold on to.

The cologne gives me feelings to remember.

I’m too hurt to eat these contradicting thoughts are my food.

Regurgitating truths.

We are fading…

I didn’t have to see you sweat to know you were passionate.

Time is money and I’m still paying for your attention.

Love is nonrefundable.

We’ve already invested the time.

You’re dismissing me

And

I am missing you while I’m holding you in my arms.

Love is a battlefield,

I will win the war.

-Leighrick