The Knowledge of an Alcoholic Junkie


I feel as though I hit rock bottom in a bottomless pit.

 A Junkie on a mission; I’m just trynna get a hit.

 Rewinding life encounters,

 she took real offense to that “Fuck You” and that “Bitch“.

 I wasn’t naming calling…

I was just trynna understand a lil bit.

Just trying to figure out if these people here for me legit [?]


Wondering, am I really just a number…”7” to be specific.


It’s like

 I’m digging a whole with no shovel.

An Alcoholic on a mission, man I’m just trying to get a 5th.


I feel like he never really answered any of my prayers…

 Or maybe I’m just overlooking his gifts [?]


Just trying to figure out, why her and not me?

 Why him and not ole boy?

Why them and not my people that’s been trying so hard?


Jealousy is a trait.

Humility is with which I will be buried


Life cannot be hurried.


I’m just saying though…I’m just going through it.


 Feel like I’m walking on thin ice, with cracks all through it.

 Just another Life-o-holic trynna get my head in some books, just to get my fix.

 Make knowledge into some real cool shit.


 I don’t really think y’all understand me, this is an addiction

 I don’t think I’ll ever be able to quit.


 I’m just

an artist with vision and a pen, putting use to my instruments.


I’m just…Im just really going through it.


Just a junkie with a 5th, who called life a “Bitch“;

regrets it and is now on a mission towards knowledge.


Psshh…and Y’all are STILL left CLUELESS.




The High Life

Lately, it’s been feeling like we’re torn apart. Why there’s such distance? That’s a question that’s weighing heavy on my heart.

 I have some things to say; only I struggle with where to start.

 I see your wounds, and I want to heal those scars.

 I want to hear the adventure in your stories, until I discover who you are.

 I feel your love when I’m missing; wondering where am I going.

 What you don’t know is that I’m going to forget names, and forget shames.

And when I go, I leave my feelings at the door.

It’s hard for me to remember the last time you smiled at me; truthfully, I think that’s what hurts the most.

Just because you speak affectionate words, doesn’t mean you have faithful thoughts.

Tonight it kind of hit me while I was praying I would make it to 21 —

 It took 40 oz to consult me.

You said you were concerned about me; that’s when I knew I had to — up and leave.

Sitting in the passenger side thinking to myself, “Why am I still struggling?”

Seems to me the lesson learned is that we all make mistakes.

Yes, I can explain why my eyes are so low, red, and glossy.

It’s because I want a real hug.

Your silence is punishment.


Excuse me.


Signed Seventh,