Miserys Company

Im feeling lost and hopeless

In the place I grew up, but homeless.

Invisible — everyone seeing past me, but not in depth.

 

All along I’ve been at home and I left.

Now I’m homeless, heartless, only thing I understand is death.

 

I left to come back to closed minds, closed eyes, deaf ears and little to no time.

 

To see that look in my Grandmothers eyes when I tell her I’m in Love.

Tell her that since I’ve been gone, I’ve done some growing up.

 

To cut the leash and puppet strings.

To close the open books, in my libraries of knowledge.

 

To handle responsibilities.

So that when I return, WE may continue to be top priority.

 

I’m trying to surpress the thoughts, but the stage I’m in, I think they call that a relapse.

Thoughts of pressing the pen to my temple or the pencil in my chest.

 

He gave me all of him, and I left now he feels as though he has nothing left.

But what I don’t think he’s feeling is my heart pressed against his chest.

My bodys presence in his bed.

My soul in his eyes

My mind in his hands…

 

There’s been several sleepless nights because of it.

Everyone wants to turn their back

When I’m screaming at the top of my lungs

I dont want to be here!

Everyone shuts their eyes when I tell them

Look! I gotta plan

And now everyone is stressing, thinking, they’re never gone see me again.

 

EVERYBODY IS BEING SELFISH.

That’s all the problems and the reasons.

 

I’ve outgrown my shell, and now I’m feeling homeless.

Time is moving too slow for me and now I’m feeling hopeless.

Everything is changing, but I’m still motivated.

 

No laugh is genuine.

Text message “I love you’s” don’t seem as intimate.

Staring into his eyes through pictures, brings tears to mine because now their just memories.

 

Sleepless because I know when I wake up he won’t be right next to me.

Dreamless, because being with him is all I envision.

 

There’s always a catch 22.

I regret it, but I know it’ll be right when I come back.

It’s hard being apart because it shouldn’t be like this.

 

My love for him is greater than the miles we’re apart.

I never felt love like this before, but that’s cause he’s always had my heart.

 

Everyone wants to talk to me.

Everyone thinks I’m crazy.

I don’t want to talk to the people I know, or to someone I don’t.

 

All I need is him, and a pen, with sheets, and sheets, and sheets, and sheets of paper.

 

I write because I can’t speak.

 

Everyone thinks it’s Puppy Love, but I don’t give a fuck what people think.

Shit a dog is 7 times older than humans so our love is way above infancy.

 

I’m ending this shit.

I hope some of y’all deaf mofos hear me.

 

-Leighrick

4 Elements to Loving You

Water

 Overflowing gallantry,

I sip on your wisdom,

 tasting your sixth sense,

 swallowing your energy;

 Hoping to digest reasoning,

 and release all animosity.

 

 Air

Spirits as subtle as winds, you are here with me.

Everywhere — I embrace the breeze captivated with your presence.

Throughout mountains, across seas…

Inside me, surrounding trees

I feel blessed

 whenever I wake up and am allowed to breath.

 

Fire

 Burn all threads of the elapsed time without one another.

Ignite the flames of our intellect,

The luminosity of your warmth brought to me,

in a dream asleep or in an awakened daze of the day.

My heart-burns,

Why isn’t the joy consecutive in some of these aches?

 The only time I’d wish for winter.

 Who’d thought rain drops could feel so soothing during the irritation.

 

Earth

 Whom revolves around whom?

We coexist tho we have morphed into one being.

Have the desire to cherish my heart, as you do the memories stored in your brain.

 Rest your hand upon my chest to make sure there is always feeling.

 Embrace our relationship with arms of understanding.

 Fill the seas with our tears…

 Fill the desert with our the dirt of our disagreement.

Create

Life.

 

Revolve Emotions

Rekindle Flames

Relinquish Fears

 as I rehabilitate your feelings towards Love.

 

-Leighrick

An Ode to Roller Coasters

Please excuse me if it seems like I’m just going through the motions.

It’s just I never rode this roller-coaster.

this is my first time and I’m so full of emotions.

I’ve been through so many loops, being upside down was normal to me.

The pain of heart dropping into my stomach, has never been attended to.

But with you, this ride is different, its a natural high without a

destination, unless its towards everlasting ecstasy.

Some think they’re at the top and that’s when their carts get stuck.

Then they drop unexpectedly yet it was secretly anticipated.

Even still, this roller-coaster has been shaky.

My heart is finally tied down, security.

However, this bliss might just be my mind playing tricks on me.

Because unlike like the others on this ride,

I don’t scream.

 

-Leighrick

Operate On Me

Operate on the patient.

 

It seems she’s lost her patience.

 

The machine’s beeping is slowing down.

 

There is no heart. She seems to need a replacement.

 

An ice sickle lodged in her chest.

 

No wonder she is so still..

 

Remaining non-responsive..

 

She’ll be sent to rehab, she cant recall the feeling.

 

Numb from all previous emotional beatings.

 

She is weary from the world’s revolving, she grabbed the revolver, and turned her back on the world.

 

The Doctors go in for surgery, as she lies unconscious asking God,

 

Who murdered me?

They told me emotions were a bitch, but I didn’t think she ever heard of me!

 

 

She’s angry.

 

The nurses forgot to stick her with the IV.

Now pain is the only joy she seeks.

 

Four doctors all inside her, trying relocate her heart, but they’re only blind, to what they don’t want to see.

Her heart is there; instead look what its grown to be.

Embodying an igloo — a shelter for the feelings she never learned to release.

 

She never felt capable.

 

Staring down at the table, screaming at the doctors

Someone Help Me!”.…..”Please!”

 

Her feelings are confusing because ironically agony brings her relief.

 

The world is in the waiting room anticipating her release, with a knife in the back pocket. Aimed at her back, for the next time she attempts to flee.

 

Unfortunately we don’t know which paralyzed her, the world or the doctors operating.

 

However now she is alive and conscience…except without much strength to feel

 

Currently she sits alone rehabilitating her trust.

 

Is insurance overrated?

 

Leighrick

Writers Block

I understand the meaning behind writers block.

Personally, I’ve discovered my definition.

 I wrote many poems about you, I don’t have much more to say.

My feelings grew deeper for you, but I feel there’s just more I have to say.

I can no longer write these feelings down, not because they’ve gone away…

This writers block is sending me signs, that it’s there more to what I’m trying to relay.

I have eyes that scream affection, and

Ears that hear your love.

My hearts beating my Soul, because it’s just about ready to erupt.

Instead my mind has captured my tongue.

Still I continually try to write and write; my words get lost in thoughts.

Coincidentally my pens run out of ink, and the led ends in my pencils.

You have filled my notebook.

So I’m left with thinking…

With out the creativity to express it, and a place to write it, the only thing left is for you to hear it.

But I’m scared that feelings are to deep, and my words to weak, but I never done this before…

My writers block has temporarily become a block in front of expressing my feelings.

Because I know I Love You.

-Leighrick

Seeing Sinking Ships

Seeing Sinking Ships

I see you rowing the boat I was once stuck in.

I was looking for an island or somewhere to rest my head,

Cause I was stressing from the questions.

I was hurt from the guilt of winds that kept blowing in my direction.

I know it hurts and even with a life vest on, it still feels as tho you’re drowning.

That relation-ship’s anchor broke loose and left a hole.

You’re sinking in your melancholy, yet you find yourself floating in the right direction.

Peep the radars, even in extreme stealth they’ll still manage to find you.

Hearts ain’t no joke, so what’s suppose to be punchlines are more like knockouts.

Some how this all defines you —

What do you do when the person you love defies you?

All this time staring love in the face, but it was made up…

They threw your heart back in your face, you were being lied to.

What should you do?

Your heart cant think, but your mind is the reason you feel the way you do.

All the broken promises and fuzzy memories.

I remember — you don’t need to keep reminding me of what we use to be!

How could this even be?

How was I not able to see?

Falling for another, yet you always seem to catch me.

I had grown complacent with it being a thought,  maybe even a reoccurring dream, but I refuse to make this pain my reality.

Leighrick

Questioned Answered by Questions

July 07, 2008

 

Dear “Friend”,

I had to write a poem dedicated to you.

In return for the way you make me feel,

 the emotion you brought upon me is indescribable.

When we talk I do more than just vibe with you.

Following talking to you each night —

I dream the same dream.

A dream of us laying on cloud 9, looking down on the beach.

And from the eruptions we cause the earth, our names appear in the sand.

As we’re floating our cloud becomes overly condensed with intellect, passion, and innocence.

Precipitation falls as letters, spelling “Insuperable“,

because that’s how our relationship can be defined.

I couldn’t think of me without you, because you are the cure.

The cure for all my needs, wants, and problems.

I have to let this pen express my emotions because in reality…

we’re just friends?

You leave me speechless.

I am traveling over a thousand miles for this journey of me & you.

When I am in my room my mattress speaks to me;

somehow I’m no longer feeling as lonely…

As we vibe,

we exult in our victory of scripting our own history, or maybe her-story; how about ourstory?

But

When we pass through those uncanny gates of

dreams, hopes, and wishes,

I roll over to the other side of my bed and wake up to my phone…

it reads one missed call.

 

Stop answering my questions with questions and maybe then, I’ll answer yours…

 

Leighrick