Loves Public Enemy

Loves Public Enemy #1

My hearts pump is out of gas, I can’t burp up any more feelings.

I feel like I’m in a room with no ceilings,  surrounded by 4 walls , so it’s hard to escape.

All I can do is lay here and wait for someone to take my place, because I fell right into the outline of a players game.

Crazy of me to think that you’ve changed, and now sitting here handcuffed to your heart.

I guess it’s right what they say, “once a good cops gone bad they’re gone forever“.

Now you’re dragging me along, through the coldest of weather.

At one point I even had a cellmate, not even knowing we were living together.

Finally I see the ladder in the room with no ceiling, and now

I’m public enemy number one.

Like Eazy E says, “Fuck the police“.

Now who’s packing?

The Gangsta of Love, bye Cupid !
Shooting arrows into hearts
I possess the passion pistol.

Got the love gun on ma hip.

I escape through the hole I dug, thinking I’ve barely scratched the surface in the cell,

also known as your mind.

Now I’m cruising down these streets with your heart in my palm.

Sending death threats and love notes

These thieves trynna steal my heart, are really building their own casket.

Rolling around, this time I’m stronger so consider this a homicide.

Because my heart will blow yours in pieces, and leave the rest for the bitches….

 

Hug Life.

-Leighrick

Sacrifice

Resentment builds,

as does my emotions.

It’s hard not to be mad, when my relaxation continues to drink the poisoned potion.

I never felt pain like this before.

How I’m I suppose to live without knowing the true definition of being alive?

You saw right through my eyes, I didn’t have to say a thing.

Just like you, I get lonely too.

How am I suppose to live without the presence of stability?

You saw straight through my soul, and without you I feel incomplete.

Leave me to dehydrate.

For our Love there’s no limit to sacrificing.

-Leighrick

Hurricane Emotion

She turned her back on everything

Yet

The world is still revolving around her.

Time is non-directional, yet it always moves forward

She’s living in the past;

the has been“s and “the had“s.

 

Her eyes embodying the oceans…

A sea of tears.

She tried to swim through Hurricane Emotion

But

Her life’s guard was off duty.

 

She drowned in the lies, because she let her guard down.

Heart broken like a levy

Only left to wallow in her own agony.

 

Everyone saw, but no one cloud help.

Many predicted the storm, but she denied the forecast.

 

That’s when the spiraling down came,

A tornado came ripping off her security blanket.

Now she sits as she arrived in this world…naked.

 

Cold.

The storm is no where near over,

The eye of the storm still precipitating mis-beliefs.

 

Unable to sleep through the pain.

She tries to maintain body heat, but in her most sacred place the lights are out.

 

Where she lies awaiting predetermined rescue..

The foundation cracks.

She’s falling threw the hole shes dug herself…Relapse.

 

She looked to the cross, but found no answers within all the red.

If FEMA couldn’t save Katrina,

What kind of hope should she have left?

 

Numb.

Living physically, but mentally paralyzed.

She looked into the eye of the storm, but she was only showered with more dishonesty.

 

She can’t detach herself from what she built.

Blood, Trust, and Love went into what she built.

Even when they threw dirt on her, she continued to build.

 

Covered in Filth,

But showered in Faith.

She’s now,

Fed up and stagnant.

Confused cause she’s living in days of darkness,

When just across the fence the grass is greener on the other side.

 

But

She keeps faith.

Faith that one day this Monster House

Will become a Master House,

When she’s no longer enslaved by her emotions.

 

The contract contradicts the blue prints.

The feelings filled up to the ceiling,

She doesn’t have insurance to cover that.

Feeling like, she just wants her parents to get that life insurance check.

 

She asks for reassurance, and that triggers a land slide.

She was sliding down the land she once  stood strong, and tall on.

Everything she’s sacrificed is now tumbling with her.

Now she’s falling to the depths of the emotional wreckage.

 

How can she ever fathom trust again.

Her hearts gone bankrupt,

Mind said fuck it,

She is about to give up, and settle for that single bedroom apartment.

 

Whose to say she’s going to survive the other storms to come.

Whose to say she won’t.

 

She could be dead because she’s stupid, or living because she fell in love with a joke.

 

-Leighrick

 

Am I?

To whom it may concern,

 

Am I really of much help to you, I felt your heart thaw as I held it in my hand..I felt is pump bass, like you were part of my band.. I thought I was of importance when you told me you loved me.. I’m on the bottom shelf, a lot of other shit is above me? Do you love me?

 

Or do I just resemble the other half of your sign, How come I’m always late at least half of the time, how come I have to pay for some other peoples crimes? When the world dulls you out, I still see your shine..

 

I’m just saying, I love you but what am I really to you? Truthfully speaking it’s some crazy shit I would do, just to make you smile, just to hear you maybe once cry out to me, if I am one ocean, then your my seven seas. Ima die over you, you’re my favorite damn disease. The funny thing about it, is its only you I aim to please.

 

Am I more than just temporary, a fling left in July?
Let me know now, cause the love I have is legendary.

 -Leighrick

Offically Missing You

I’m lost confused as to what to do.
Sometimes I wish you could just walk a couple steps in my shoes,
Feel the pain I’m feeling from how much I’m missing you.
And I swear that’s sayings true, cause you cannot have the cake if your trying to eat it too.
Meaning I can not be your lover, only a homie…not even your boo.
Yet I continue to baby you.
Through and through, and through and through…I’ve met plenty of dudes, but can’t progress cause I stay comparing them to you.
It hurts because you love her, they love you, and I’m just here helping you get through it all.
I do things I don’t do, I say things I don’t say,
I’ve distanced myself from others, longing to have you one of these days, but your routine stays the same.
You don’t know what your feeling, through one ear and out the other…
through one year passes another and I’m still not with you.
People begging me, pleading for me to leave you, and
I inch away retracing my steps right back…
I’m breaking my back and your hardly bending yours.
Yours, Mines, Ours forever …we say–
I’m yours and your mine…
that’s how I wake up each morning, with a reoccurring dream hoping life has changed.
Either me not loving you, or you finally recognizing me…

Hopefully it’s not too late, and you’ve become either a mistake or stay a dream.
Our relationship is getting sicker, because it’s only me participating
yet my feelings get thicker, and you present yourself
here and there…
I still don’t see you.
In the beginning we started off solid, oblivious as to when life would hit…
But it did, hard
Because I feel, I’m the only one living through this
You’re not yourself and for sometime you’ve been missing.

I guess this poem is a point to say that I’m Officially Missing You.
-Leighrick

Dont Be Afraid

My greatest fear is love, because the thought of you kills me.

How can someone be so involved, but idle in presence.

You fit the description, and I guess I’ve died because I feel we’re a match made in heaven.

God has given us the gift; the present isn’t enough for me.

I want to travel through the future, and smile because I’m glad you grew old with me.

You’ve been my blanket in the cold, and my soul at times I could no longer burden such emotions.

I can’t even gain control of me.

My minds eye must be blind to true reality because us together, to me feels too much like a fantasy.

When I look into your eyes I see myself, and if you look into to mine you’ll see yourself too.

I sacrifice body, soul, and mind and devote my time to know what rhythm your heart beats and try and coordinate mine to do the same, because I want us to be one.

The Essence of a relationship is not each of us giving 50% because that’s selfish.

I want to give you 100% of me, and I hope you’d do the same because I want our relationship to be 200% better than the rest.

When we kiss, I don’t want it to be because of the passion we have for one another, but because lips can do two things.

1. Lips can capture the unspeakable.

2. Lips can speak the unthinkable

So when we lay down and make love and I’m silent, kiss me because I’m thinking what you’re feeling.

Then Kiss me again because I’ve spoke consciously and told you “I Love You

Conclusively, I fear my feelings for you are too deep, my dreams for us are too big, and the verbal expression of my feelings for you will be too late.

Should I be worried?

Leighrick

Chocolate High

He sent me four page letters, enclosed with “I Love You’s“, kissed compliments, and hope filled hugs so that I never feel alone.
When I thought I am too weak to stand, he is my backbone.

The sun begins to rise as my eyes begin to close.
I drift off into a land of my own; where thoughts manifest dreams, and the chase after them never seems to cease.
Though I always seem close, I am obsessed with triumph.
Unconsciously I dispute sleep.
Playing Shepard I count sheep, but wolves are recurrently embodying the bad dreams.
If I rest my heart my mind will follow?
Suggesting it’ll beat me to death before the scars and flaws are perfected.

Nevertheless

He is medicine.
Every dose of him releases dopamine, and love regenerates my body.

I’d say….
he’s the better half of me.

Better yet —
If he is a cube, I am the squares, that combined with the depth and passion makes us whole.

Likewise — He fills all the holes.

Together attaining goals.
Aspiring and Inspiring.

He is the key I thought I threw away, and cannot be duplicated.

His heart is gold; though our love invaluable…
He is King to me.
I his Queen.
His lap, my throne.

Reading these letters and holding on to his lips for everlasting kisses.
In his smile, in his eyes, in his words, in his touch,
Whenever I feel unknowingly felt lost…
I find home in his love.

He gave me that key.

Alas — no more running through homelessness.
No more love-seats, no more couches…

At the moment, while I sleep
His chest is my mattress, and he whispers spirited harmonies
ensuring that my dreams are sweet.

So as my environment seems real, my real is a fantasy.
We met on the shores of the beach, a special place.

With notebooks consumed with these letters narrating our story.

To be continued….

With Love,
Leighrick