Linguistics

Since We Speak The Same Language.

There’s always this back and forth.
I wonder why?
Chances were given, but you hardly tried.
Contrary to the myth,
You made it easy to say good-bye.
I said my peace, left my feelings in this piece.
Hit the Mary J, and said “Fuck It! I’m not gone cry”.
You say, “We go deeper”, but your narrow vision isn’t that wide.
Now you’re back to catching feelings, but I threw mine
As bait, in the river, I cried.
Where there was plenty of cold-blooded species like mine.
Obviously a toxic misuse of time,
and the pollution of loneliness reigned on.
Thoughts of you stormed my mind,
Forming a dark cloud, diluting emotions.
Anger took the form of lightening, and that quick
3 strikes became equivalent to 1.
No matter the weather or the excuses,
I told myself, we were done.
Yet you’re still smelling roses,
Caught up by dozens, the pun was lost.
A big joke it all seems to be.
No longer looking for love, even though
You’re still hiding behind a bush.
I just may have overlooked ya.
Now you’re yelling ‘STOP’, so I accelerate.
You used to tell me I moved slow, but all you do is hesitate.
Trying to illustrate forever.
You couldn’t see my vision, now that you’ve open your eyes
You’ve mistaken love at first sight.
You don’t know me.
Word is bond, your is tongue tied.
Speechless.
No more moving back, only forward
The message has been sent,
I Cc’d you – I hope you received it.

Signed, Sealed, & Delivered

-Leighrick

Please Don’t Catch Me

Placing my heart in his hands,  he embrace it.

Trying to describe falling in love with him, is like describing colors to the blind.

My heart has finally realized what my head has known all this time..

He Loves Me.

He looks into me, my eyes feeding his ego..

I mean

I catch myself being so deep,

that I can see the reflection of my smile taking the shape of his soul.

He Loves Me.

This is how I express my love to you —

Descriptions of him taken by every pleasurable adjective

I can try  to further elaborate my feelings…

But I begin to make up words..

He heals me.

I fell so hard into this hole we’ve dug, that we know we can never stop falling.

It’s not  just one thing, or somethings, its everything.

He is my everything, a gifted by his presence everyday?

He kisses me, I inhale his seconds of breath.

I sink into his mouth

He ingests my every reflex,

Dreams have become a tease,  cravings and wishes of you here,

have been replaced with the warmth and realness of your skin.

Love is an endless battle, he fights for me.

I’ve fallen for all that which my warrior defends.

His love for me,

but

I cant sleep, if I do I dream about you…and when I dream, I cant sleep…

Its too hard to be without you..

I whisper in your ear the depths ecstasy, I long for you to see.

I wish I could lay my head on your chest, allowing you to be all I need…

Suddenly,

He holds me.

In the still of the night.

I am restless.

He places me on top of him, and I fall asleep

to the rhythm of his heartbeats.

Even a thousand miles away,

He loves me.

Unconditionally.

Even with a heart of gold is my talk still cheap?

Music isn’t soothing to me.

This page is comforting my spirit, but my body is still lonely,

I miss you…

My pen strokes illustrate your energy.

I begin to float towards him.

Hijacking the wings of hopes and prayers to get to you, any way I can.

If I make my wish, will you still grant it?

The shooting star heading exactly in the direction I want…

But I’m taking my time with him…

Everything about him makes me want to exceed all boundaries.

Surpassing our present reality;

Moving mountains, Throwing rain…

His body as my promise land,

His heart as my home.

I LOVE HIM.

-Leighrick

This Plane

As I’m on this plane, I’m writing our names in the clouds.

Though I miss you extremely despite the elevation I still feel high.

It’s almost impossible to explain your touch, the clouds know it’s hard to keep dry eyes.

This seat is uncomfortable because it’s not your lap.

My body will ache for some months because your not attached, and all these people need to shut the fuck up because they sound nothing like your laugh.

When the train arrived your words hugged me the whole ride, giving me the comfort of knowing this isn’t a goodbye.

That whole ride I cried, I still feel as though I’m dying inside.

Instead like the winds you kept strong for me.

I saw the love in your eyes and felt the warmth in your heart.

I know things will change temporarily but what remains is the love in our hearts.

I’ll always be there and you’ll always be here.

No one nor thing will be able to fill the void in our hearts.

A race against insanity, seems like life never wants us to get a head start.

I feel miserable, I want to cry, but deep inside I know my tears aren’t invisible.

I don’t these people bugging asking me what’s wrong.

I might scream, and curse…cause deep inside I wanna strap something to chest and let them all feel my hurt.

I’m shaking my head.

I keep complaining, and complaining this feeling isnt forever.

Already my heads getting fucked up, no more time to be selfish…

this battle is against time.

I have end this because the more I write,
the more tears that build up.

Just know that I’m with you.

I Love You.

-Leighrick

Curiosity Misery’s Company (09-11-09)

My misery’s curiosity still lies behind these walls.

The yelling and the screaming continues to echo throughout the hallways.

That’s all I’m able to hear.

I don’t think I need glasses anymore, because now I can see straight through people.

Time must be moving quickly, because I feel my hair graying,

My heart aches from the stitches, that aren’t even really mending it back together, there only for show.

My souls still searching for the answers, and the souls of the rest of the lost ones.

They took a piece of me, He snatched the peace from around my neck.

I can only guess my audience is aware of the dramatic irony.

Damn, its been 10 months, and I still cant understand.

The dust has been settled, it has been swept under the rug, but even still this hasn’t become clean to me.

The feelings still linger this just isn’t the place for me to be,

a house is not a home, but I’m just trynna figure out where I’m supposed to be.

Double standards, insecurities, lies, and religion – eventually will become the death of me.

Why did she stop Goliaths hand, what would J–, never mind.

What would you have done in my situation?

He PUSHED and I prayed and still nothing happened.

 Kisses on my forehead could never erase this memory.

I’m just glad to know that I got some people here for me.

I thought it was snowing in hell, when I saw who caused my cell phone to ring.

And now I’m sitting here staring at the ceiling.

 I am Lonely.

 I’m confined to this room, I don’t want to step outside because I feel them watching me.

Cant close my eyes because my brain projects the incident repeatedly upon my eye lids.

I can’t sleep

My stomachs in pain — I can’t eat...

I won’t drink.

I cant think — without hurting & dropping tears left and right.

After this, I don’t think I have any fears, I only live everyday knowing ..

 Fact: People aren’t obligated to you love you.

  -The End.

 –Leighrick

Healing Young Hearts : Optimistcally Faithful

Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?

 

When the ‘Mom’ is taken out of the ‘My’

and

The only thing left from the’ Daddy’, is ‘Y’.

 

When we can only escape hurt through our dreams,

but we cant decipher why a Disney movie is not like real life,

Why haven’t we received our fairytale ending?

 

Y is he so absent-minded?

 

Its like sometimes he forgets get’s he’s apart of us,

like he harbors some type of animosity towards U & I,

but we are only children.

 

Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?

 

When once familiar faces, soon fade into the distance and become unidentifiable,

but still s huge amount of love resides, in one of the empty spaces of our hearts.

 

Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?

 

When we feel that pain, and nobody can heal it, except the touch of my mother?

 

Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?

 

When they antagonize our matriarch,

Invade our happiness,

and hijack us again…only this time for our Brother.

 

Still,

We haven’t grieved.

 

We paint this picture with watercolor,

because the turmoil of our lives mixed with our tears are full with confusion.

and created a paint so thick, only we retain the brushes to retell our tribulation.

 

And in this picture, we paint ourselves,

 

We’re are anticipating the next visit from our Mommy in our dreams.

We’re awaiting the re-embrace of our brother.

We’re hanging onto the hope that our father, soon realizes we are only innocence duplicates of himself he sees in our face.

 

But we are confused, because others refuse to believe our family is heartbroken.

Yes, we are comforted by our ‘Na-na’, because that is where the unconditional love is everlasting

The Root Our Faith & Strength.

 

You see it?

 

Frame it.

 

So the next time you’re asked,

“Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?”

 

What will you reply?

Because we are only one story, the anguish of one family…

 

Think of all the millions more.

 

With Love,

 –The Heart Broken

 

-Leighrick

Welcome Depression Addicts

Welcome…

I do not have dreams. I have a large potraits of reality, everynight, and the next morning it all comes true. I am staring into a black screen, with nothing but frustration running through my mind. It’s begun to tire out my mind, and testing my feelings. Struggling to find the diamond in the rough, except diamonds are oh so cold, and I’m warm blooded. How would the ring fit around my heart? The beats steady pumping, my emotions are getting pimped, my thoughts are getting trampled, and the tears run down my lip.

Open Lab — let them operate on the chaos, putting together the pieces of Lady Chaot!c, and some touches of nuclear spit. The life I lead is unsafe. It’s true misery needs company. Only my company has gone bankrupt to the depths of life’s rotting anatomy. If I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul take, so it may be that I am a legend in Gods eyes.

With stress as the monkey on my back, unconditional love is feeding it banana’s. A volcano of sorrow has erupted. Is this such a way for a young black female to live her life? The fight for getting a decent education, but its shadow of confusion and uncontrollable exoticism is the only light. I’ll follow that with my heart instead of my mind.

That is why they call me Lady Chaotic, lyrically spiritual, but my opinions are explicit.

Leighrick also.known.as {Chaot!c}

The Coldest War

Everyone said life was going to be this hard

However, everyone failed to mention the scars would remain, less obvious than outer appearance.

Daily wearing her heart on her sleeve.

Scabs and keloids protrude from untold her-stories,

 

Belly swollen full of manipulation.

Brain dead,

Unconscious,

Self-conscious —

 

Afraid of self.

 

PAIN

 

A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Her tongue remedial compared to cat like reflexes.

Her own two sense, something she cant afford.

 

She Wrote.

and so

She Spoke.

 

She becomes family with led and ink.

In-laws of different colors

 

A mind is a terrible thing to waste,

as is her pain,

She Wrote.

 

This lonely child found the comfort in the instruments, the silence, and the trees.

 

All she wrote repeatedly:

 

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!!“…

 

Peers read, what appears?

What is perceived?

 

The agony brought a smile upon her face, because shes discovered one of her many talents

Acting.

 

Just Leave Me.

Leave Her Alone.

 

MEANING

Comfort Me.

 

This little girl is on a scavenger hunt.

She tries to abandon the labels, they hold her back.

She searches for someone to foster her creativity.

She longs for someone to adopt her perception.

Her conscience is an Orphan.

 

This lonely child is lost in all the love.

 

Mouth dry as wood.

Eyes shinning bright like dim lights.

These Pinocchio’s snout would grow

if they deny being puppets too.

 

She just wants to be a real woman.

They hear her speak, but no one

LISTENS.

Judgments are passed along,

accompanied by unconditional love.

Under the conditions of seeing thoroughly, only when they chose not to be

BLIND.

 

so confused.

 

Life is hard, for that she was prepared.

They keeping telling her to explain herself.

But no one understands her language.

She tries to translate it, but motha fuckas are impatient.

 

Feeling like a patient, she nursing her thoughts.

Remember, this poor girl is brain dead.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste

 

So.

The shadow unexpectedly appeared

placed the pen to her temple.

imprinted a hand against her heart,

and pressed her mouth onto hers.

 

She inhaled comprehension and took her first gasp of LIFE.

Tasteless.

 

Nervous.

Excited.

She understands her language, she wrote back to her through thoughts, emotions, and intuition.

She spoke.

The first words for a young adult.

“I Love You”

She grew inside her,wisdom, her tears the waters that bloomed this gracious flower.

 

Everyone told her life was going to be this hard.

She thought her shit would come out softer after the bullshit they fed her,

another fallacy sugar coated.

 

She’s screaming at her

Lullabies sweet and low.

Her honesty

Bittersweet.

 

This Woman is a Solider.

The series of this Coldest War.

 

To be continued…

 

-Leighrick