Tag: Unconditional Love

Chocolate High

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He sent me four page letters, enclosed with “I Love You’s“, kissed compliments, and hope filled hugs so that I never feel alone.
When I thought I am too weak to stand, he is my backbone.

The sun begins to rise as my eyes begin to close.
I drift off into a land of my own; where thoughts manifest dreams, and the chase after them never seems to cease.
Though I always seem close, I am obsessed with triumph.
Unconsciously I dispute sleep.
Playing Shepard I count sheep, but wolves are recurrently embodying the bad dreams.
If I rest my heart my mind will follow?
Suggesting it’ll beat me to death before the scars and flaws are perfected.

Nevertheless

He is medicine.
Every dose of him releases dopamine, and love regenerates my body.

I’d say….
he’s the better half of me.

Better yet —
If he is a cube, I am the squares, that combined with the depth and passion makes us whole.

Likewise — He fills all the holes.

Together attaining goals.
Aspiring and Inspiring.

He is the key I thought I threw away, and cannot be duplicated.

His heart is gold; though our love invaluable…
He is King to me.
I his Queen.
His lap, my throne.

Reading these letters and holding on to his lips for everlasting kisses.
In his smile, in his eyes, in his words, in his touch,
Whenever I feel unknowingly felt lost…
I find home in his love.

He gave me that key.

Alas — no more running through homelessness.
No more love-seats, no more couches…

At the moment, while I sleep
His chest is my mattress, and he whispers spirited harmonies
ensuring that my dreams are sweet.

So as my environment seems real, my real is a fantasy.
We met on the shores of the beach, a special place.

With notebooks consumed with these letters narrating our story.

To be continued….

With Love,
–Leighrick

When It Hurts So Bad

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Instill your strength in me.

 

Retell your history through your eyes.

 

Whisper your power of forgiveness.

 

 

 

When it hurts so bad,

 

Embrace me.

 

 

 

Holding your hand I feel your vibrant soul.

 

Your minds working against time —

 

And my words are fighting the same battle.

 

Allow me to be your shield in this imaginary war.

 

Share with me the freedom of releasing our pains through tears.

 

 

 

When it hurts so bad,

 

Embrace me.

 

 

 

Lauryn said it the best, “what you want might make you cry”

 

 

 

When it hurts so bad.

 

It feels so good.

 

 

 

I love you.

 

 

 

Why does it feel so good, when it hurts so bad?

 

 

 

Your smile numbs my thoughts.

 

Your laughter hinders any regrets.

 

 

 

Instill your strength in me and I’ll stand strong.

 

Your eyes tell stories non-revealed.

 

 

 

When it hurts so bad,

 

Embrace me.

 

 

 

As much as I’m not there beside you.

 

I place my hand upon your heart and remember the warmth.

 

History speaks although your words remain silent.

 

 

 

When it hurts so bad,

 

Embrace me.

 

 

 

You are my everything,

 

my heart beats differently,

 

thoughts of you replace my animosity.

 

 

 

When it hurts,

 

Who will I embrace?

 

When your not here ?

 

 

 

I Love You.

 

 

 

-Leighrick

Conscious Dreamin’

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I’d be lying if I say I didn’t want to go back.

 

As I’m lying on my back,

An abundance of thoughts are racing through my head, so its hard to stay on track.

It’s December and I’m having dreams of Santa placing me in my fathers lap.

A stork delivering me between my mothers legs.

 

Flashbacks holding my Sisters hands, they’re teaching me how to dance.

 

Walk down stairs to sneak something to eat, and see my brothers red hands.

I’d be lying if I say I didn’t want to go back.

 

 

And as I’m lying on my back,

Numerous thoughts race through my head, so its hard to stay on track.

I see me sitting on the table as my grandmother feeds me.

I wont bite the hand, rather admire the gentleness of them.

Now I’m running across the grass blowing bubbles with my cousins.

There’s an elephant in the room, but won’t nobody say nothing.

 

And as I’m lying on my back,

A plethora of thoughts race through my head, so its hard to stay on track.

Hey ! I’m cruising; riding a bike that won’t take me anywhere.

I remember Grandmas red beans & rice, cabbage, and spaghetti nobody would want to share.

“There’s a hole in my stockings” I said, but she always had an extra pair.

I can still hear Wild Bill calling me the prettiest girl

Opening my eyes during the long prayer

Admiring my nephew as he plays in his mothers hair

Her stomach round my niece is in there.

 

And as I’m lying on my back

An overflow of thoughts race through my head, so its hard to stay on track

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to go back.

When we gathered together and laughed until we shed tears.

Every household had a secret that they didn’t want to share

I keep smiling sitting at the table with no one there.

So I fill in the empty seats with memories.

Now I’m remember this place, and never meant for it to come here.

The real estate I’m on is now a couch I call my home.

 

And as I’m lying on my back

Thoughts are shadowing memories, so it’s hard to place a bet

Who would win this war the guilt or  the hard head

In a room with 4 walls and no ceilings,

No doors, windows, or ladders,

How the fuck do I get out of here?

Everything around me happened so fast, why do I feel like I’m in slow motion?

 

As I’m lying on my back

I pack this bowl and drink this potion.

Who would’ve thought I’d be the sucker for love

I never showed emotion.

But I feel my heart skip a couple beats every time I hold my Grandmothers hand.

I tend to rethink everything I could have done different.

I’m trying to cherish time, but how am I suppose to do that if I cant even get a grasp of it?

 

And as I’m lying on my back,

I never thought it would have come to this.

A point where I can’t even finish this without

adding a couple “What Ifs“, a couple “Maybes”

Thinking — is it best to be myself, or what I am expected to be?

Then I think again

Should I have even wrote this?

Many will read into a misconstrued message.

 

Fuck it tho

 

As I’m lying on my back

I find no reason to lie.

I wish I could go back just to make more memories…..

 

-Leighrick

Visual Letter : To Whom It May Concern

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Dear Reader,

Shut your eyes to the world, but open them wide for my thoughts.
Stop allowing the background noise to interfere.
Channel my voice.
Read this poem alone.

          I’ve been echoing the same message. I’ve been screaming for someone to catch me as I am falling, and it still hasn’t happened. It’s true what they say, “you are your own worse enemy“. If you feel like your alright now….you’re not.

          I am the best at mental hide-n-go-seek, because I’ve been lost inside my mind for years now. No one has found me and I wonder sometimes if anyone is even looking. Would they know what or who to look for? — I’ve tricked myself, I set a trap and I fell for it. I fell forward into a sea of misunderstandings, and now I’m drowning.
No wonder I Love the beach…

          I have convinced myself I was happy, because Love had found me. Now I feel as though it is a facade and I am witnessing it deteriorating…right-in-front-of-my-face.

          Everyone is acting as enemies, but to their convince they shape up and play for the same team. They yell, curse, presuade, manipulate, downsize, lack faith…What they don’t know is I’ve already beaten them to it. I’ve been doing this to myself all these years, no wonder the real me is hiding.

 

Don’t stop reading yet…

I need someone to vent to.

 

          Writing is all I got, even though people have the ability to read they still don’t understand my lingo. I wonder do you understand my message? When you read this do you see a motion picture taking place in your head? Can you see me stressing, running out of ways to keep my sanity?!

Picture this: Imagine me in a room, locked door, and sealed windows. Laying on an air-mattress, floating in a pool of ink. Forever laying in a bed without the ability to sleep. IM SUPPOSE TO BE HAPPY. Supposedly that’s what everyone wants for me. I don’t see that shit though, their double standards are about as consistent as when the wind blows. I suppose some of a little bit is true.

          I’ll just remain being happy under everyone’s conditions; I dont know how they didnt pick up on it. All my poems are little clues. At least one person picked up on em, but he pushes me away too. Then again I am he, and he is me…so I guess in an essence it’s just me hiding from myself again. I don’t know when he’ll realize that he is my reflection, or that whenever any type of stress is present, we’re both in pain.

          I’ve learned this Love is serious, and every time an obstacle presented its self we got through it. We celebrated, after the 5min party, we retreat back into the darkness. Day light savings, we fall back, so the light doesnt remain long.

          Basically, what the fuck I am trying to say is, my mind is a Jail. I am stuck, no bail. Handcuffed to the bars of my cell, so i turned my phone off. I dont want any visitors.

 

…That’s all I guess, this piece was pretty pointless. I hope my words provided pictures. So when you see me smile, you know its not genuine. These poems are all tears from when I cry..A cry for help, to find myself inside my mind.

          Hopefully when you took this glance throughout my thought process. You got a little glimpse of the lost Candace, and you can tell me where to look next.

–Leighrick

Purple Heart

Posted in Dapper Suits, Family, Pieces of PoetryTagged , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

You are

Everything I want to be

as I’m striving to be more.

 

You are

The definition of Love

In the depth of your eyes and  in your spirit.

 

I am

Lil Bit

to such a enormous piece.

 

You are

the best I’ll ever have, everything I need.

Your smile brings upon tears,

I’ve only known as comforting.

Tell me your secrets I asked,

You told me there are none to keep.

 

You are Strength

never should I feel weak.

Your footsteps remain on the beach.

As I reach to bring you back the moon,

You taught me, its not about the glow in the stars

but the meaning.

This life is a battlefield,

You fight with speech.

 

You are

Everything I want to be

as I’m striving to be more.

 

You are the definition of Love,

Unconditional and Unmeasurable.

You see, the look in my eyes

Your hands I never want to let go.

Your smile brings upon tears,

I’ve only known as comforting.

 

You are the light that shines,

that guides me throughout the darkness in my journey.

 

I am

Lil Bit

to such an enormous piece.

 

You are the best I’ll ever have, and everything I need.

 

You are Strength

never should I feel weak.

Reliving memories as life is happening.

This life is a battlefield, you are my Purple Heart.

–Leighrick

– With LOVE Lil Bit ♥

Image

Goodnight Never Goodbye

Posted in Life, Pieces of PoetryTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

This is Real.

The hurt in my chest,

the plugged ears,

the consistency of tears.

My cries for some understanding.

—

Unanswered.

Deceit has sent me overboard.

Like a coward my arms could no longer bare the burden of my heart, my mind, and his words.

Regrettably —

I have no life vest.

I fell off and into what I thought was a puddle;

Except the more agony I felt, the more the water swallowed my body.

The most meaningful attribute to life, tasteful but bittersweet.

Every time a thought of you crosses, mini movies of recollections replay,

and the pain in my heart is replenished.

Lost in a sea of  crocodile tears, swollen eyes, a gorged nose, and a heartbroken by life.

Actualize a racing mind.

Time is drowning me in my own emo-ocean.

Much time is given, yet I feel like sailing out my mind.

Envision

Fishing with the thoughts of regrets, and Paragliding with reminiscence.

Through a Cold War, actions often kill, but

Love is stronger than death.

Despite love being uncontrollable, no matter how hard death tries it cannot intervene people in love.

Love is stronger than death, although it can’t stop death from happening, no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love.

Therefore,

Death cannot take away memories either.

In the end, love is always stronger.

So you see —

A part of you has grown in me.

Allowing me to  cease the worries, raise up, and stand strong

It’s you and me together like time and eternity

and never afar,

maybe in distance,

but never by heart.

Goodnight I say,

Never a Goodbye.

–Leighrick

The Amazing Race?

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You’ve been there. I’ve been there. People long to be there, but who wants to leave? People run away from love. People chase love. In essence, it’s all on the same track. Hard to tell who is sprinting and who is fleeing. They’re all chasing it without knowing who’s in front. Whose chasing who and who’s is running away?

–Leighrick