Tag: Heal the Pain

Harmonized Healing

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I laid, staring into the darkness.

Cramped between the shadows

created by the emptiness between the bars,

and coarseness of the walls.

 

I pick up a shard of broken glass,

glance into it,

and ask:

 

Where am I?

 

The deeper I enter into the darkness,

I recollect:

 

“Live with the heart, and the mind will follow?”

 

Mindless Behavior.

 

We had owned the night —

 

I was Love Drunk,

and was caught drinking and driving.

 

I pulled over,

The officer saw my brain in the back seat and asked,

“Why aren’t you in switched positions?”

 

I was imprisoned.

 

My heart was my cell mate, and unfortunately

my mind came up short on bail.

 

Within time,

My heart and I got off on good behavior,

we entered a halfway house.

 

Almost there, yet so far to go…

 

I turned my back on the present,

and headed back towards the past,

because it was what I felt closest to.

 

RELAPSE

 

I am on my 3rd strike.

 

I saw the not so distant futures, and headed back, except

my heart was so stubborn it decided to stay behind.

 

Reacquainted with my mind, we set out on a search for my lowly heart.

 

Roaming the streets of memory lane,

we found it —

It laid, left for dead,

beaten and cold.

Rapidly bleeding out hope, it cried for faithfulness.

 

“Forgive Me!”

 

Left in the state of panic, my body went vacant.

 

Nevertheless —

 

My mind blanketed that heart,

and eased the cries, replacing them with trustworthiness.

 

However,

My heart began to shake,

a seizure…caused by the cascade of emotions

 

—

 

—

 

But then —

 

The gentle mind kissed the heart,

and beyond the shadow of doubt,

the Soul ascended.

 

She brought diligence to the body,

ceased the misery of the mind,

and revived the heart.

 

For the broken reflection in the mirror had been repaired.

 

—

 

The Soul smiled brighter than the guidance of the Northern Star,

the Heart blushed warmer than the Sun,

the Mind journeyed out the darkest shadows of space,

and the body became ONE…

 

and it was Harmonized.

 

I am comfortable again,

laying in my own bed, lost in my smile…

 

-Leighrick

Bed Spread

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There’s too much confusion just to let the dust settle.

The shit hit the fan, and now my heart is in shambles.

Trying to pick-up all the pieces to the puzzle, but those missing have been swept under the rug.

I got this illness…

Love Sick.

Curious, yet left without answers

The bush is not the only thing being beaten around.

I no longer wake up with a smile,

Now I live in a frown.

My heart is building up its walls again, a safer house.

Resentment unfortunately is the foundation for my anger.

These lies have enclosed my heart in inflammation.

My mind couldn’t keep its thoughts off premeditated suicide.

I enter the panic room.

I put this love gun to my temple, as tears of passion run down my cheeks;

While my trigger finger frees me, and fills my medulla-oblongata with these hollow tip uncertainties.

Bloodshed, my loves sinks beneath me, and a sea of red is engulfed by my bedsheets.

Death Bed.

My last thought hoping some trtuh will come of sacrifice.

Label me another

“Premeditated Love Suicide“

-Leighrick

Tarnished Gold

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I am in this relationship.

 

Its not awkward.

Its not violent.

Its not intimate.

 

Its Silent…

 

The type of silence when something wants to be said, but is held back.

So I hold back my response, because like always…we’ll get nowhere,

even though we’re riding in this car together.

 

We’re just silent.

Sitting.

 

Its like she’s choking on her emotions,

which is suffocating me.

 

Ultimately..

the most said is a greeting.

 

Just a “Hi” or a “Hello”

 

On the outside our presences seem to be mellow,

but in the depth there is tension, with obviously invisible conflict.

 

I am that child,

walking in her parents foots steps.

 

Destined for success

Assuming I don’t want to be heard,

with attributes that speak volumes,

Questioning Love.

 

So

I

Remain

Silent.

 

We remain silent.

 

 

Everything forcing us to make conversation,

but the restraint of her tongue is intimidating.

 

 

I am confused.

Within everything that’s been said;

I am still not sure how to perceive it.

 

Its like my good news is being taken for bad news,

and my bad news for worse,

 

So I feel like,

Well Shit…

 

I feel like I’m not even worth the words.

 

 

Which is why

I pass by in silence.

 

 

I’m afraid, because time is moving quickly.

 

Silence is known to be deadly, and I see no future assets in this Gold.

 

Holidays no longer filled with warmth, but with coal.

I try to manufacture some happiness into this relationship,

its not working….

 

My heart keeps sinking,

deeper and deeper and deeper.

 

This relationship goes deeper than the wounds we’ve made visible,

These hand-me-down scars are invisible.

 

Now its not just the suffering of one,

everyone’s worn their heart on their sleeve at some point.

 

 

There is no Freedom of Speech.

Divided we stand, and united we have fallen.

 

But when its too hard to stand,

Ive learned, its okay to kneel.

 

Only when I’m down here, I’m asking for her hand,

because this relationship is until death do us part.

 

Although it’s killing me trying to comprehend.

I will not stop.

 

I know love exists,

I just hope the first steps to rebuild our foundation,

We can share a smile.

 

The real kind,

and not the ones forced by Silence.

 

 

-Leighrick

Letter to the Future [Lost Children pt 1]

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Dear Lost Children,

I am writing you this letter, asking you to take my hand. I would like us to take a trip to see this countries past. I am writing you this letter letting you know not to be scared, because I am here to prepare you. I know you yearn for knowledge and guidance, but they’re hiding and burning the books in which some truths are kept (in order to sustain this well lit Hell). I know you are starving, but please child, do not kneel to the Golden Arches of the Burger Kings. I know you want to play, but please don’t roam these streets following the blind, and unattended.

You may ask, “who am I?” or “who are you?“; I am the Present and you are the Future. You see — I am writing you this letter as a gift, so TURN OFF THE TELEVISION and READ. I know you’re young, therefore you need to understand they are killing Our Mother, Our Sisters, and Our Brothers! But this Nation was founded on lies and corruption, so you have every right to blame our Fore Fathers.

Lost Children you may not be concerned because they’ve put you in a box, and marked the target with an “X“, but Ive come to help heal you. They are trying to strip you of everything. I hand-down to you any and everything I have to ensure your Knowledge and Safety.

PLEASE PAY ATTENTION! I know it’s hard because your young, don’t let them trick you into thinking you have some disorder, they are just scared at the fact that I’m lining you up like soldiers and preparing for you the take over. I can BET my life and guarantee that these next couple of 16 years wont be so sweet. You’re absorbing all this like a sponge, but I refuse to let them dumb you down like Patrick.

TURN OFF THE RADIO! Don’t repeat those demeaning words, I know its hard because the tune is catchy, but my generation is the victim to the venom , and are now they have become lost generals. Listen to me, you Lost Children are our not so distant futures last chance at hope. But you don’t need the whips and chains, to see that this countries is trying make your life worth less  rather than change. Be the change, and the sense, you are worth everything I’ve wrote.

Do not eat the shit they feed you, because it’ll only stunt your growth and widen the chances of you being incapable, but NEVER GIVE UP! And if I am not present, and they so happen to knock you down its okay. Just GET UP, do not stand by and allow them to keep thinking they’re stronger. PUT THAT HAPPY MEAL DOWN!

Lost Children, I know it hurts, but I’m trying to ease the pain and heal you, because these battle scars leave marks embedded in you physically and mentally. I am sorry my children, but war has been declared. I’ll just end this first letter asking you to join me on the next journey, our brother and sister countries, and prepare to save them too….

Reminding you to DROP THE REMOTE & PICK UP BOOKS.

 I will be here to help guide you…

 

LOVE ALWAYS,

 

–Leighrick, The Present

Beast Wars

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Someone tame the madness that came from the belly of this beast.

Unfortunately this Evil is heredity.

Tainted fertilization.

Never to be blamed, but

I never felt a cry so violent.

Never seen love rejected so immediately.

With eyes so dominate.

The beast hides behind the beauty despite her being transparent.

The reflection in the mans mirror, ones crying and ones yelling.

Separate ways but the same intentions.

Darkness with no knowledge of Light.

Future could be bright, but in that household they don’t allow night lights.

 

So my hands together

Despite my anger.

I take all pleasure in prayer.

In my heart I’m feeling sympathy,

But in my mind currently, I am furious.

Premeditated Living.

Listening may be rare but imitating is surely present.

To hurt the ones you love could only be the devils presence.

 

That’s Karma at the door, not a Jehovah-Witness…

 

To be continued…

 

-Leighrick

Pain I Can Touch

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I cut my hand on the bus today,

accidentally on purpose.

I cannot explain to you

how elated I was

and think you’d be able to fathom it.

I mean,

I was able to feel pain.

For those of you who

think this is about me being “emotionally numb“,

….

….

You’re wrong.

I am happy,

Finally…

Finally I feel a pain

I can do something about.

I can see it, touch it, and I can nurture it.

—

—

I rushed home,

instead of grabbing the alcohol,

I grabbed the peroxide,

Washed my hands twice,

and applied an even coat of Neosporin.

I dropped everything when I entered my room.

I laid on my bed, staring at in awe of my palm.

I cannot stop smiling.

Finally,

I have been hurt, but

I can do something about it.

I can see the wound,  putting a band-aid for comfort.

I can watch my bodies progression, as the new skin arrives,

reminding me that this pain is only temporary.

Overjoyed that I remember my blood is red and not black.

I guess you can say,

it cut me on the right hand,

but really…

it did.

This pain influenced this poem, so I took some advice and

I

Showed

My

Pain.

-Leighrick

Chocolate High

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He sent me four page letters, enclosed with “I Love You’s“, kissed compliments, and hope filled hugs so that I never feel alone.
When I thought I am too weak to stand, he is my backbone.

The sun begins to rise as my eyes begin to close.
I drift off into a land of my own; where thoughts manifest dreams, and the chase after them never seems to cease.
Though I always seem close, I am obsessed with triumph.
Unconsciously I dispute sleep.
Playing Shepard I count sheep, but wolves are recurrently embodying the bad dreams.
If I rest my heart my mind will follow?
Suggesting it’ll beat me to death before the scars and flaws are perfected.

Nevertheless

He is medicine.
Every dose of him releases dopamine, and love regenerates my body.

I’d say….
he’s the better half of me.

Better yet —
If he is a cube, I am the squares, that combined with the depth and passion makes us whole.

Likewise — He fills all the holes.

Together attaining goals.
Aspiring and Inspiring.

He is the key I thought I threw away, and cannot be duplicated.

His heart is gold; though our love invaluable…
He is King to me.
I his Queen.
His lap, my throne.

Reading these letters and holding on to his lips for everlasting kisses.
In his smile, in his eyes, in his words, in his touch,
Whenever I feel unknowingly felt lost…
I find home in his love.

He gave me that key.

Alas — no more running through homelessness.
No more love-seats, no more couches…

At the moment, while I sleep
His chest is my mattress, and he whispers spirited harmonies
ensuring that my dreams are sweet.

So as my environment seems real, my real is a fantasy.
We met on the shores of the beach, a special place.

With notebooks consumed with these letters narrating our story.

To be continued….

With Love,
–Leighrick