Healing Young Hearts : Optimistcally Faithful

Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?

 

When the ‘Mom’ is taken out of the ‘My’

and

The only thing left from the’ Daddy’, is ‘Y’.

 

When we can only escape hurt through our dreams,

but we cant decipher why a Disney movie is not like real life,

Why haven’t we received our fairytale ending?

 

Y is he so absent-minded?

 

Its like sometimes he forgets get’s he’s apart of us,

like he harbors some type of animosity towards U & I,

but we are only children.

 

Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?

 

When once familiar faces, soon fade into the distance and become unidentifiable,

but still s huge amount of love resides, in one of the empty spaces of our hearts.

 

Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?

 

When we feel that pain, and nobody can heal it, except the touch of my mother?

 

Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?

 

When they antagonize our matriarch,

Invade our happiness,

and hijack us again…only this time for our Brother.

 

Still,

We haven’t grieved.

 

We paint this picture with watercolor,

because the turmoil of our lives mixed with our tears are full with confusion.

and created a paint so thick, only we retain the brushes to retell our tribulation.

 

And in this picture, we paint ourselves,

 

We’re are anticipating the next visit from our Mommy in our dreams.

We’re awaiting the re-embrace of our brother.

We’re hanging onto the hope that our father, soon realizes we are only innocence duplicates of himself he sees in our face.

 

But we are confused, because others refuse to believe our family is heartbroken.

Yes, we are comforted by our ‘Na-na’, because that is where the unconditional love is everlasting

The Root Our Faith & Strength.

 

You see it?

 

Frame it.

 

So the next time you’re asked,

“Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?”

 

What will you reply?

Because we are only one story, the anguish of one family…

 

Think of all the millions more.

 

With Love,

 –The Heart Broken

 

-Leighrick

Tarnished Gold

I am in this relationship.

 

Its not awkward.

Its not violent.

Its not intimate.

 

Its Silent…

 

The type of silence when something wants to be said, but is held back.

So I hold back my response, because like always…we’ll get nowhere,

even though we’re riding in this car together.

 

We’re just silent.

Sitting.

 

Its like she’s choking on her emotions,

which is suffocating me.

 

Ultimately..

the most said is a greeting.

 

Just a “Hi” or a “Hello

 

On the outside our presences seem to be mellow,

but in the depth there is tension, with obviously invisible conflict.

 

I am that child,

walking in her parents foots steps.

 

Destined for success

Assuming I don’t want to be heard,

with attributes that speak volumes,

Questioning Love.

 

So

I

Remain

Silent.

 

We remain silent.

 

 

Everything forcing us to make conversation,

but the restraint of her tongue is intimidating.

 

 

I am confused.

Within everything that’s been said;

I am still not sure how to perceive it.

 

Its like my good news is being taken for bad news,

and my bad news for worse,

 

So I feel like,

Well Shit…

 

I feel like I’m not even worth the words.

 

 

Which is why

I pass by in silence.

 

 

I’m afraid, because time is moving quickly.

 

Silence is known to be deadly, and I see no future assets in this Gold.

 

Holidays no longer filled with warmth, but with coal.

I try to manufacture some happiness into this relationship,

its not working….

 

My heart keeps sinking,

deeper and deeper and deeper.

 

This relationship goes deeper than the wounds we’ve made visible,

These hand-me-down scars are invisible.

 

Now its not just the suffering of one,

everyone’s worn their heart on their sleeve at some point.

 

 

There is no Freedom of Speech.

Divided we stand, and united we have fallen.

 

But when its too hard to stand,

Ive learned, its okay to kneel.

 

Only when I’m down here, I’m asking for her hand,

because this relationship is until death do us part.

 

Although it’s killing me trying to comprehend.

I will not stop.

 

I know love exists,

I just hope the first steps to rebuild our foundation,

We can share a smile.

 

The real kind,

and not the ones forced by Silence.

 

 

-Leighrick

deLIBERATION

Sitting —Scratch that. Laying here thinking. Thinking…Thinking….laying here. Funny how things work out.
Some people believe everything happens for a reason;on the other hand, one action is result of another action. Don’t be fooled by “destiny” or “fate“, people make decisions. They have questions, and often seek answers. I don’t want the answers to those questions anymore.
I’ve made peace with my past, in which a new story unveils….barely setting pen to paper, pages turn themselves.
Laying in awe, in confusion, in….unsurprising disbelief.
I’ve learned not to continue writing the new material in an old book though I may be continuing stories; instead to start a new book. One in which many characters aren’t included, and there is more depth in the questions asked, more wisdom and enlightenment in answers we choose to seek., and the plot thickens.

Science Fiction or Fictionalized Faith.

Symphony of Cries

Scrolling through any social network, watching the news, reading the many articles written about this world today often leaves me with sickness. Children, your future, my future, our future…THEIR FUTURE is being tarnished, cut short, and manipulated. It really hurt (for lack of better words) when I read about the abuse, neglect, malnutrition of children; who do not asked to be brought into this ball of atrocity we call a world. Today, I read that a 6 month old baby got shot 5 times in Chicago. My heart is  in mourning, R.I.P to Johnylah Watkins and to all the other fallen babies, children, teenagers, people around the world.

 

Symphony of Cries

Harmonize the crying children.

Turn their sobs of sorrow into

Melodies of hope and intuition.

 

Gather the chorus.

Line them up by the level desperation to be understood.

 

Conduct the songs of everlasting love and inspiration.

 

Someone call the symphony.

Tell them they’re late.

Tell them not to come.

We don’t need to add the sounds of pity, so leave the violin section out.

 

Instead

Bring out the Orchestra

Let the Saxophones, Guitars, Trumpets, and Drums beat out

the Lies & Mind control.

 

Visualize the music notes soaring into the sore hearts of the crying child inside

constantly asking, “why?”

 

The healing is remarkable, if my words fail the music of my creativity should speak.

And say to the Choir of Crying children that mistakes are inevitable.

 

This is dedicated to the children that cant understand the gospel.

 

They don’t understand who they are, or who they’re suppose to be.

 

This is dedicated to all the children who want to show themselves.

But the cities smog is too thick.

 

For these screaming children

I take off my sunglasses.

Extract the ink from my veins.

Subtract all positive vibes from my heart.

And with a lost voice, sing songs of purity and understanding.

 

For these screaming children

Id save every tear I shed in  water bottles because they are left with a thirst for knowledge.

 

For these screaming children

Id give away all my clothes, because this world was cold and they’re left outside bare.

Naked Truth.

 

For these screaming children

I will position my hands and we’ll all kneel for prayer.

 

Harmonize the crying children.

Turn the sobs of sorrow into

Melodies of love and meditation.

This music is restless yet peaceful.

 

Who is the conductor of this concert?

 

I have yet to answer this question

but if you find them…

 

Ask them to describe the difference between Hell, Earth, and Heaven.

Because us confused children, are screaming and crying, searching for the difference.

 

 -Leighrick

 

Real Life, Still Life

Do you ever feel like your art is a person?

Every time I write a piece, I’m painting a self portrait. In the present tense or even as the third person. On the outside looking in — the pain your emerged in.

Hearing a song you never wrote like the artist is someone you grew up with. The happiness you told all your secrets to, but the sadness is holding you hostage.

I always wonder why people try to bargain with death. Its wins eventually, until there’s no one left. Selling dreams of living in clouds, Eternal luxury with no evidence; living for a better tomorrow. That promise isn’t kept.

I live like today is my last, often that’s why it seems I only care about my self.

Who am I kidding?!

I care for everyone else. My heart is a clinic, get in if you fit in, no matter the health. Sympathies nursing sorrows. Empathy injecting psychedelic morrows. Where do I go when I need love? I pull out a cool J and fill my chest like I’m getting lung transplants tomorrow.

When I’m chasing my breath, the loneliness is easier to swallow. Why does everyone want to be understood? Judgment is the mass a murderer. How could you even point your finger at my chest when you’ve never felt my soles?

Non-believers. For whom I hope on Christmas all get coal. I pack pens like heat, cause this world gets cold. Equipped qith a paper machete. Just because you scream “F– The World!” Doesn’t make you bold.

Dark minds, I meditate inhaling white lights to shine upon the spirits journey through my mind. Trying to apprehend my thoughts from the graps of confusion. There’s a hole in my mind, I guess that’s where all the memories go.

A missing piece. Trying to find a peace of mind, so if I don’t remember you, don’t be offended. That’s just called letting go…

I’m feeling more attached by a cord an some earphones. I’ve know you all my life and look how far we’ve grown, Apart.

This may be the start to a natural disaster. I put the yield sign up, and you chose to keep going. I put up some emotional roadblocks across, but you ignored the caution stories and crossed the lines. Now we’ve come to a complete stop. Feel our foundation shaking beneath us. Is this my fault because I didn’t stunt my growth? I didn’t stop the towing? I came to a fork in the road, it said “You Left ” & “Life Right”.

What else was I suppose to do besides keep going?

This piece can keep going. I’ve only finished the eyes. Those are the windows to peek through if you really want to know me.

But — I’ll finish this Self portrait later. I just wanted to paint the picture, so you could get the point of view as to why I’m struggling growing. And I bet by the time I finish this masterpiece, you still won’t be able to recognize the Real Me.

Leighrick

The Empress Wears No Clothes

You’ve settled for this reality, slaving for the fallacies of the beings. In this world I cant relate. The state I’m in isn’t slumber. My spit is like the roar from the queen of the jungle.

Sure, I use to feel a bit of pressure. That was before I cleaned out all my dressers, and took the posters off the wall. Went through a couple growth spurts. I began feeling like a giant, but I’m only six inches past 5 feet tall.

No tall tales – I keep it real with my people. What if Johnny grew peaches instead of apples? That story would have changed us all. See the complexity of a Human is the downfall.

Could it ever be simple? I mean I see it through my eyes, but I keep it sacred in my temples. That’s why my head aches like hearts after heavy meals.

Peacefully I ease the pain with the bass from the instrumentals. I orchestrate this pen like a flute to my lips, gently kissing the paper. Love notes mix with music notes, making babies which are my quotes.

Little me’s you read

Then notice they have my insight and real authentic steez. I watch them grow into stanzas. Rebels with cause. Spreading my words as gifts as if I’m Saint Nicolas.

Only if, only if…

I always wished I had a twin. If I did, in an instant my art work would form physical ability. Now not only would you hear me and see me. Now you can feel what I’m saying and be smitten. My words might touch you with the befitting name ‘Wordsmith’.

Have you gotten a better inner-standing of what separate worlds we live in? You over see the understanding of dethroning. A term mentioned in history, but never stopped to explain instead managed to keep going.

Responsible for building your home, yet we barely have places to live. Anything to keep us in cages is the reimbursement for our Blood, Sweat, and Tears.

Currently enslaved by the ole mighty dollar, who nowadays I’m not surprised isn’t worth my 2 cents.

Kings and Queens who roam streets and rule blocks. Jay-Z was chasing his dreams rapping about running his city. I wonder tho; what did he have to do? What’s left to be done? I refuse to believe it was that easy.

Respect to Ms. Lauryn Hill – They might have won over some souls, but they lost one and a good amount of other special ones.

I’ve been chasing down my dreams since I could think. Trying to keep and steady the pace since I’ve almost caught up with them. I went on a couple paper chases; which only lead me to non-prophets.

Which left me on my knees. Letting God know my promises not to fall for it again. Forgiving isn’t a sin, but I treat it like one. However, I’m quick to forget, [voluntary amnesia].

Reoccurring thoughts. If I make it big I feel like all my secrets would be on Wikipedia. Written by the dudes I told “I’m leaving ya”. Friendships I jumped ship and told, “this boat isn’t gonna fit your ego and my well being bruh”. Some family that secretly never believed in ya.

The life of living in a deteriorating tree. Strong roots, couple weak branches, some fallen leaves, and plenty promising seeds.

Saying I’m closed minded, when really Im always open to be free, like the beach. My favorite place to be. Where the water never ends, and the waves always listen. The sand remembers the power in your stance, the moon’s glow is always singing, and the sun forever smiles.

I can be me. You remind me of so many. My words are my bond like James and his heat.

This is it.

I think that quote was the puzzle that just made this piece complete.

-Leighrick