Category: Free Writes

I wrote these on a whim, most likely during a workshop, class, on the bus, or whenever I found the time to sit and write out my thoughts…

99 Problems and the Answer is 1

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You know, sometimes I ask my self, “Why do I even bother?”.

I mean in all serious where does being a good person ever get you in life; besides a grave? In the end your spirit and soul is left feeling “substantial“so to speak, but how does one even know? How do I know that the bullshit I endure for the sake of other people is even beneficial? Now, don’t get me wrong I’m not looking for anything in return, but how much easier is it to be a good person now and die; than to die and become a good spirit?

Death, death is so often viewed as the dark side. As much as I am taunted, and taunt myself. I find that I cannot take the steps to even think of being selfish. However to you that may seem absurd.

I mean honestly, I venting about a situation in which dirt is being thrown on my name, by individual(s) who I’ve gone out my way to protect.

Yet, MY faith is QUESTIONED, because I do not seek the wisdom through the words of the bible? On the other hand, no questions are asked about priests who molest young children, and then go on to damn people to hell for being homosexuals?!?!?! How is one so sure that these words in the bible are those spoken from God? Himself? Herself?

I know, I already know you’re thinking “how dare [I] even throw that [her] in?”. I was told that the reassurance of those who believe in his words are recognized and strengthened through faith. Now if the fate of “man“, and the world’s being is rested upon faith, then why can’t I be equipped with the will, knowledge, love, wisdom and the strength of FAITH to trust my own intuition?  An intuition that is said to be “God given” and has proved me correct far more times than the bible.

There are no different versions of spirituality, faith, and ancestry, besides within the story of an individual; yet there are among hundreds and thousands of versions of the bible. GODS WORD. How many ways can God’s words be written and interpreted to be correct, beside the correct way in which he said himself?

Within self I find God[ess’]. Why limit myself to one? I often think about this, but I usually fall asleep and start my day before I can ponder on an answer.

I know I have gone completely off topic, but this entry is solely to vent.

Are you comprehending?

VENT because FRANKLY, I’m 2 years past through with being fucked over. Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice, is all I’ve know. It’s what I’ve read, and heard, and taught myself because with all great things comes sacrifice. Or so its known to be,  and here I am dying. Still I some how find it unexpected?!

Fool me once, shame on you – Fool me twice, I’m the fool.

Since a child I’ve sat in this very same house inquiring about life, death, and life after death.  Wondering, after death is it possible that an ill soul can become well? If so I may start inching towards the darkness myself, because all this light I am in taking is so often blinding.

Ultimately, I have nothing to show for what I’ve done. I practice, and practice, and practice, and preach and teach, and think and sit and become enraged.  This  absolutely sickens me! It gives me headaches, produces tears I have to fight along with battling yelling so  loud that l I am deaf. Not having to hear anyone else bullshit, but stuck with my own internally?

Though I refuse, because already I am driven almost insane by my own questions.

Is that why I am so good with helping others? “Problem Solving”.

Would this be labeled neglect?

I just want to know why the “good people” are always fucked over. I mean honestly, who has a real answer to any of this? That’s where the frustration stems. ARE THERE REALLY EVEN ANY ANSWERS?!

WHAT IS THIS LIFE SHIT?!

Life long questions that pass throughout lifetimes are handed down to dwell on. This philosophy course isn’t doing a damn thing to help me understand spontaneous death.

I am really pissed right now.

You try believing you can talk to some people, you give em an inch and they take a mile, but distance isn’t the problem.

WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?!……[THE ANSWER.]

Fucking Shit.

–Leighrick

Motion Pictures

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I’m stuck in between writers block and a ticking clock; there’s not enough minutes in an hour to cherish a day.

My eyes stay glued to the pages, that’s how I stay awake. I sit up in my bed and contemplate. The second I close my eyes, I lose 4 hours out the next day.

No breaks.

I’m speeding on the train, trying to beat late to work. They say you work hard then you play, but I sweat a little more on the playground because that’s my job day to day. When night creeps around, Im waiting for the sandman with my A.K.

A

Pen also known as my artillery. I’m breaking and entering in the memory bank of my own mind, Trying to ditch the reoccurring visions of what I thought was love at first sight. It took one night, to lose sight of who I was. So Ive experienced being blind.

That’s may be the reason when I recite these lines I have to close my eyes. I feel a pain in my chest, like I overdosed. Instead I keep going line after line after line. And realize that pain is only that feeling of wanting you when I coming down.

From this high. I’m sorry. My hearts a bit tender. Im soaring trying to catch up with my pride, whose trying to catch up with my ego, whos chasing after my mind.

See its not the fame I want; I want the audience inclined. I’m satisfied with being well known. They haven’t yet gotten the message, I’m ahead of my time, but behind.

I live in the moment. If my piece doesnt make your heart skip a beat, I dont own it.

 -Leighrick

Hempathy : Staring Through Vanity.

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I collaborated with my twin, Samuel, and we’ve created “Hempathy”. This piece branching from a simple conversation. “Is a secret truly a secret, if everyone knows it, but no one talks about it?“

Shit, all i feel is hempathy, that’s hemp therapy simply

I’m a smoke till I see God and ask him why I feel this way mentally

Signed, yours truly, sincerely hoping that my best wishes are not just farewells to sanity

While I blow Kush smoke in mirrors subconsciously embracing vanity, and talking to myself–

 

A controlled free spirit trying to think of a purpose, is it worth it?

My heart wants to jump out my chest just so I can put this work in

I start feeling like, “damn do I deserve this?”

Whether I weather the storm, this forecast is my own, this black cloud is only following me

When it rains my cup is filled — half full, tho inside I feel so empty

Success is so tempting!

The weight of the world is on my shoulders and all I feel is sympathy.

Visions of visionaries screaming knowledge from the cemeteries.

In the moment I was being birthed I felt God’s whispers as he spoke to me.

The smoke clears. There’s no longer clarity.

Sitting at the vanity 2 hazed eyes, and the 3rd one so vivid that it scares me.

 

Cry for help like a newborn left in a bin, or for some brotha without a motha heading straight for the pen,

I cleaned my slate with those tears and headed straight for my pen,

Then walked up to the fountain of youth and threw a couple of pennies in, like, here’s my two cents–

That should pay what you’re worth, delusions of immortality,

I’ve been ready for death since birth,

Realize your lies mean nothing, they say the meek shall inherit the earth.

 

Knowledge is power, except it feels more like a curse.

I hand out flowers today because I witnessed tomorrow riding in a hearse.

The gangsta’s spray their semis while the kids run for cover.

Sirens are my alarm clock, while I hide under my covers.

A world unprepared for the voices they’ve silenced by fear.

Not me, I am no longer scared.

I have been scarred interacting with the living dead.

Conniving like con-artist, without guidance I walk amongst the blind.

Pick pocketing every thought.

They don’t get me, but at least they aint got me!

They tried snatching my spirit from me out my cradle just to place me in a tomb.

The killers perish with their intentions, but the believers never die from their wounds.

Imagine spending your whole life trying not to cry.

Misery loves company and the world is its companion.

Birthing monstrosities that  label themselves as super human beings.

Assassins assassinating, I chose to replace them.

If I were to murder one person, it would be –ME!

Because there is one thing I yearn for most is my body to rest and my soul to be FREE

Only then will the mind solider be at ease.

 

–Leighrick & Samuel

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Just the Pieces

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Drowning out city sorrows with Hip-Hop Blues.

Death comes in 3s,

My regrets come in 2s,

You only get 1 life to live, so

Which one should I choose?

Tapping my feet to the beat,

Bass bruising my drums.

I wish I remembered when this city was dust.

Sand storms instead of smog infiltrated clouds.

This city has my heart,

My roots intertwining with those of the trees.

I see my city; thinking I cannot look past the trash,

Atlas, I see the Art and its production of people.

 I sit back and part the pages in my Notebook.

Jotting down lines that paves ways into memory lanes,

I am consuming pens.

Down to my last two,

Thankfully I’m spared a pencil.

As if living isn’t enough,

Living it to the limit is too much.

If I could sing, I’d write a song

Unfortunately I cant.

All I have are these poems.

Pulling my own weight.

At the same time reaching for the stars,

Living in a World,

Where the leaders are manufacturing sugar-coated lies.

While we’re consuming them, free of charge.

Wondering why our blood cant make it all the way to our hearts.

I have ink in my veins, eyes full of pride.

A heart full of love, soulful cries.

I feel this pain in my chest, in the smokiest skies.

A conscience ahead of the naive,

Who are stuck in lies of the past.

That when they arrive to the present,

Surprise!

My smile is mischievous they tell me.

Only because I know what you don’t see, and see what you disregard.

The sky is soon to be falling, and the ground is now breaking.

Welcome Lost Angelinos,

To the Hell as we know it Home.

We’ve dropped from the Heavens in search of Grape vines.

Instead found bittersweet Cactus’, and the strength in Palm Trees.

Babies Crying.

Men Dying.

Women Trying.

STRIVING.

Constantly admiring the homeless.

While everyone’s stuck in their box,

They keep going.

I’ve never seen anyone fight so hard to live, and be ready to die.

Most times when I walk past them

I tend to swallow my pride.

When I need to ask for a of couple dollars,

Shit, I get mad, Im about ready to cry.

When I see them, if I can I give em mine.

Many are abandoned by Love and by Mind.

Lost the fight to drugs, or did the time for the Crime.

Who am I?

Who are You?

Who could we be together?

These thoughts are just the pieces that made this poem come together.

-Leighrick

Eligibility

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Yo! First off, I would just like to say that growing up is such an experience ! Throughout the failure and the success, I just really feel myself learning & becoming more wise throughout these years !

Secondly, I would just like to add that doing what you love may not always be easy, but let me tell you the satisfaction from the struggle is worth it all ! You have to work for what you love, and if you love what you do it doesnt feel like you’ve worked at all! Everything takes time, that doesn’t mean sit around and wait for it to fall in your lap, it means until that time comes – GO GET IT !

To experience stress and pressure, better yet the test of my Faith in myself ! and just keeping the faith that it WILL work ! Its not only knowing it, not only feeling it, but not settling for LESS. The people I surround myself with i.e My Teammates & My Family, the people I speak to on a more intimate level of relationships/friendships…..Man I Love You ALL. Seriously

Not Only 2013, but these YEARS ARE MINE ! Im WORKING for it ALL.

Im doing what I Love !
Writing, Playing Basketball, Learning ! …Yo Im just truly blessed I am doing all these things that make me happy. I will not keep taking advantage of life !

NOW IS THE TIME TO LIVE!
TO BELIEVE.
TO CREATE.
TO WORK.
TO DREAM.
TO ACHIEVE.
TO LOVE.

–Leighrick

Sidewalk Secrets

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The City never sleeps. The reason they envy the stars so much, is because the real ones seem so out of reach. Each I see I try to teach.

I want to be remembered in every encounter. Post it my history. I post up posters of eyes, andI hope they see -They cant hide.They cant be lowkey. In order to see change, the change you must be. Like the ones on the street are beggin for; While your on your way home to eat.

I cant say I’m complete, tho Im in competition with those whom are elite. My smile is their displeasure, I insipre those I meet. My soul gives off an energy stronger than a Rockstar drink,– you wont crash.

Take a flight with me. Sprout wings and see the planet in the prospective of the universe. Bodies steady leaving this earth in a hearse not even a proper burial.

I’m just trying to be reimbursed in my actions by actually knowing what its worth. I dont know where to end, but i know Ive started it when I was destined.

 

-Leighrick

 

I wrote this for a good friend of mine [Daniel L.]; he took this picture below. He asked me to write a piece to go along with his picture, total freedom ! and Sidewalk Secrets came to be!

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WWYD?

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What if the joy of yesterday encounters sorrows of tomorrow?

Would you smile because you’ve seen another day, or complain because the smile you had has been borrowed?

Cliche as it may seem, be grateful for what you have.

Many children have never seen the light beyond the womb, and many people only known the comfort in the darkness of a tomb.

What if Doom’s Day was yesterday? and Today Hell froze over.

Would you shed a tear for the lost ones, or bask in the triumph with the other surviving soldiers?

This is a catch-22

You can’t control whether you win or you lose – Life is crazy like that. I saw it killing on the news, I heard it singing in the blues, I could taste it’s celebration in homemade stew.

I’ve held it in my arms, and in the morning I smell it in the dew.

Life proposed these questions, now I am asking them to you.

What Would You Do?

-Leighrick