“Outside it’s dark and dismal.
Inside I feel like summer.”
No Sleep makes me feel anxious.
Am I anticipating life, is this dangerous?
Certain thoughts keep replaying.
Falling asleep in 30min increments.
I now understand why sleep is the cousin of death.
Maybe that’s why I’m afraid? T
he explanation of so many nights spent wide wake?
Regret must be the kin as well.
I attempt to adopt Confidence.
Never think your too good for your past it shaped you?
[ Fuck That ! ]
Trying to ignore these sleepless nights,
every thing is fake; like that one day of the year in April.
That’s it !
My minds playing tricks on me again, and has the seasons confused.
This is winter, hibernate…?
Retracing steps back, to clean up tarnished dreams.
Instead my mind is freezing; because the blood I’m pumping is really cold,
I’d say about below 0°.
My eyes open wide shut, paralyzed…
Stuck — trying to define my own destiny.
Trying — to convince myself its not my baggage?
Its not my fault?
I didn’t deserve it?
Visions pretty foggy; the sun stopped shining.
I know a change is gone come,
I just don’t know if I can wait for it.
I gotta find a peace of mind;
How do I do that when I’ve lost a piece of my mind?
People talk about a race against time?
I am in a race to get mine —
Forget the paper chase, I fucked around and lost my mind.
Sometimes I feel like grabbing a piece, throwing the peace, then disappearing.
Lost in time, lost in feelings, it seems I’ve lost my touch.
I cant feel the peace within me, just pressed against me.
Shoot all thoughts of negativity that associates itself with me.
I sit back and cool down.
Shaded in the background.
Summer will make its way around eventually.
No sleep makes me feel anxious…
Maybe I’m asking too much?
Maybe just a nap will do.
If only I had one wish…..
Unfortunately, Life is repetitive.
I’m no longer giving a “Fuck”, but I was generous enough to give you this poem to reflect on.