I’ve been having this reoccurring dream, that keeps waking me up. My heart feels weak, beating slowly, and my stomach hurts. I sat up in my bed, and my head began to pound. I laid down again. I worried myself to sleep, but I worried so much I woke myself up an hour later. I cant explain the feeling, all I know is that I hated it. I suffer every minutes I am awake. I still haven’t come up an with an explanation for it.
I feel that way with my emotions; I just have no control over it. Before I go to sleep, I feel like my heart stopped for quite a little bit. I think the insomnia is f— with my head. It’s like I cant think straight anymore. I feel unfocused. Sort of like all my jackets need to be straightened. Left with the inability to dream, I feel like the epitome of the living dead.
My nose bled a little bit. Since I was child sometimes it does that, but in the mirror all i see is red. Oddly enough it’s my favorite color. I don’t know if it’s the law of attraction, or if I am being haunted. Life gets even more real the less I sleep. I don’t want to go to the doctor because all they’ll do is label me.