Category Archives: Trinity

Trinity is a project I am currently working on, this will be a Poetry LP with my pieces recorded over instrumentals. Trinity is a trilogy within this will be three volumes based on a love story. The poetry will explore the “stages” of love one may go through. In the beginning there is blissful passion along the lines of infatuation. The middle will include pieces that bare witness to the traumas, pain, and heartbreak of a relationship. Lastly will be the discovery of true unconditional love, recoginizing that you must first love your self before being able to healthily give and receive true love.

Exposition

Love is easy to fall into.

Who ever said this road we walk would be smooth?

Who guaranteed that life would be easy?

Life’s guarantees are as passionate as an oppressors persuasion .

Choice was not a option, we were given this life – as we attempt to live.

But we were handed it, knowing that, majority would break from the pressure of merely attempting to care.

And yet here you are before me standing in all Loves Glory.

Overwhelming?

Check….. yet I stand strong before you, your queen : Candace

Nefertiti of your entirety

Cleopatra of your roaming soul

You’ve ceased my heart collapsing.

I have turned your Dark Empire and into your Golden Age.

Like the oceans I draw you in..

You that is my beach, my paradise.

Rest your head on my chest and listen.

As this heart you forged takes the form of gold.

The beats are as vibrant as the chants of hands that beat against an Afrikan drum.

Playing is the melody that eases your mind from the sleepless nights.

Nights that you ponder in your thoughts and get lost.

Lost as you search for a path back to reality and stare into midnights blanket.

Seeking and searching for a journey to revelation.

Knowing Love would be in Vain without dreams that break beautiful beats of happiness and sorrow.

Those who seek Loves Redemption can be redeemed through the code of righteous living.

Knowing no true direction,we walk blind –

For our hearts are the compass’ that lead us to everlasting love.

Love in which you and I become immortals within the land we’ve created.

Every tear drop infested with emotions exchanged with a kiss.

For our Love is custom fit for only You and I.

For only our Hearts link through

Loves aorta,

Never to be severed.

-Leighrick©

Advertisements

This Plane

This Plane

As I’m on this plane, I’m writing our names in the clouds.

Though I miss you extremely despite the elevation I still feel high.

It’s almost impossible to explain your touch, the clouds know it’s hard to keep dry eyes.

This seat is uncomfortable because it’s not your lap.

My body will ache for some months because your not attached, and all these people need to shut the fuck up because they sound nothing like your laugh.

When the train arrived your words hugged me the whole ride, giving me the comfort of knowing this isn’t a goodbye.

That whole ride I cried, I still feel as though I’m dying inside.

Instead like the winds you kept strong for me.

I saw the love in your eyes and felt the warmth in your heart.

I know things will change temporarily but what remains is the love in our hearts.

I’ll always be there and you’ll always be here.

No one nor thing will be able to fill the void in our hearts.

A race against insanity, seems like life never wants us to get a head start.

I feel miserable, I want to cry, but deep inside I know my tears aren’t invisible.

I don’t these people bugging asking me what’s wrong.

I might scream, and curse…cause deep inside I wanna strap something to chest and let them all feel my hurt.

I’m shaking my head.

I keep complaining, and complaining this feeling isnt forever.

Already my heads getting fucked up, no more time to be selfish…

this battle is against time.

I have end this because the more I write,
the more tears that build up.

Just know that I’m with you.

I Love You.

-Leighrick

Journey of a Gemini

The Journey of a Gemini

 

I’ve been on this journey seeking the other half of me.

 

My eyes have grown weary & my heart weak.

 

My head hung low in disappointment.

 

To the point I’m trying to reach, each step seems as though I’m getting further in distance.

 

I sit in isolation, sand storms caressing my mind, blizzards comforting my heart, and the great flood drowning my soul.

Heat stroke seemed only to be the only thing comforting me.

 

Until he came and sat beside me.

I felt his ear to my soul…

His thoughts beating to the rhythm of my heart.

I smile because he’s found me.

 

The Journey of a Gemini

 

I’ve sought to find the other half of me.

 

I am his sun.

He is my moon.

 

I wonder if knows he’s found me in my worst storm.

That the rain just isn’t nature’s cry for help, but my own spirits.

 

I want him,

I want him to understand, his smile is my sunset and his eyes are my ocean.

Understand he is my place of peace,

Someone who hears my screams and yells back to comfort me.

I run my hands through the sand, his trails and tribulations.

His breaths kindred to the night waves.

He is my reach past the stars, and the sky…with him I feel no limits.

 

And

 

If I am to him Queen, He is my King..

 

Pour out our thoughts.

Mix our Love.

And build a barricade around our sandcastle.

 

This is the Journey of a Gemini.

 

I realize what lies beyond his eyes

&

The difference between what lies hes been told, and what lies in his heart.

 

As I lie in his arms

He embraces my anticipation.

 

This journey reflects on my rebuilding of trust.

 

Does he know he is the foundation?

 

Everyday will be Summer time, because I will be his sun shining light on his journey as well.

 

This is the story of a Gemini.

 

I’ve found the other half of me.

 

He knows the other half, nobody has ever known,

He is the half of me, I’m always been afraid of showing

 

but

 

Somehow through this poem, my feelings for him just flow.

 

Massaging his doubts..

Our fingers interlock, and we’ll begin our journey together.

 

The only dream I look forward to, he seems to be better than reality its self.

 

I wonder…

 

Is this journey of a Gemini only a dream, because if so fuck that…I want him inside of me.

Not only thoughts, but in feelings,

not only by touch is he healing

but he comforts me, when it feels as though I am emotionless

Incapable of affection…

 

I feel so Emotional that I am Emotionless

I often wonder if he’s testing me…teasing me?

 

Love has no boundaries, I stopped to take a break…I gave up on that shit!

I look ahead, and loves found me.

Now I wonder…should I further this journey?

Mother these problems?

Become acquainted with long lost feelings?

Curse the father of my thoughts?

Pet the idea of falling in love again?

 

Love hurt me before, my chambers turned ice cold

&

My rib cage turned into jail bars.

I feel myself unable to escape.

 

I wonder if he knows this is me?

Am I accepted?

All I ask for is my love to be respected — and if wants to

 

He can grab my hand, and join me.

 

This is the journey of a Gemini.

 

I am half asleep with my eyes wide open.

I cant see him, but I hear him, and I feel our love growing closer.

 

He yells, “Love Stinks!

Well that love stench is me, because I’ve been traveling for to long on this damn journey.

 

But

 

What can I say?...It’s the Gemini in Me.

 

-Leighrick

Bed Spread

There’s too much confusion just to let the dust settle.

The shit hit the fan, and now my heart is in shambles.

Trying to pick-up all the pieces to the puzzle, but those missing have been swept under the rug.

I got this illness…

Love Sick.

Curious, yet left without answers

The bush is not the only thing being beaten around.

I no longer wake up with a smile,

Now I live in a frown.

 

My heart is building up its walls again, a safer house.

 

Resentment unfortunately is the foundation for my anger.

These lies have enclosed my heart in inflammation.

My mind couldn’t keep its thoughts off premeditated suicide.

 

I enter the panic room.

 

I put this love gun to my temple, as tears of passion run down my cheeks;

While my trigger finger frees me, and fills my medulla-oblongata with these hollow tip uncertainties.

Bloodshed, my loves sinks beneath me, and a sea of red is engulfed by my bedsheets.

Death Bed.

My last thought hoping some trtuh will come of sacrifice.

Label me another

Premeditated Love Suicide

 

-Leighrick

Pain I Can Touch

I cut my hand on the bus today,

accidentally on purpose.

I cannot explain to you

how elated I was

and think you’d be able to fathom it.

 

I mean,

I was able to feel pain.

For those of you who

think this is about me being “emotionally numb“,

….

….

You’re wrong.

 

I am happy,

Finally…

Finally I feel a pain

I can do something about.

I can see it, touch it, and I can nurture it.

 

 

I rushed home,

instead of grabbing the alcohol,

I grabbed the peroxide,

Washed my hands twice,

and applied an even coat of Neosporin.

 

I dropped everything when I entered my room.

I laid on my bed, staring at in awe of my palm.

I cannot stop smiling.

 

Finally,

I have been hurt, but

I can do something about it.

 

 

I can see the wound,  putting a band-aid for comfort.

I can watch my bodies progression, as the new skin arrives,

reminding me that this pain is only temporary.

 

Overjoyed that I remember my blood is red and not black.

I guess you can say,

it cut me on the right hand,

but really…

it did.

 

This pain influenced this poem, so I took some advice and

 

I

Showed

My

Pain.

 

-Leighrick

Back to the Basics

Back to the Basics

Because it seems I lost my way

Trying to make sense of cents

But poets never get cents from

Those who need to pay attention

They’d rather give up all sense of dignity

By emulating these rap artist that can’t

Even make sense of there own lives as they babble

And yet here you are listen looking like a senseless asshole

But all you can say is listen to that beat

 

Back to the basics

In the middle of my own

Journey to self enlightenment I came

To a point of confusing this dark place filled

With illusions of real friends and money

I had lost myself in a pile of bullshit

Thinking if I dig deeper I can dig my way out

But instead I end up behind bars

 

Next to another girl with a bloody nose

Where am I?

Who are the fuck are you?

When did you get here?

And when did I get here?

 

I ask myself this as I look in a mirror

So dirty I can only see a reflection of

the outline of my face.   

Symbolically this is exactly how I felt

 

Finally I seen that this is not me

This is not Candace.

Just a poser

So I beat her down.

 

Wounded and weak I

Finish her off

My mental Coup de grace

Freeing me of this abyss of ignorance.

 

Back to the basics

Walking cautiously

The city I call home.

 

On my way to making myself a better woman

But this ride, this walk, this journey is because

I am going back to me

 

I missed you did you miss me?

The simplicity of me

The one who saw beauty in the

dirtiest of Sidewalks

I said what I want not caring about what others thought

 

Back to basics

Back to me

Candace.

I’m the sarcastic

Conscious young woman with

Wisdom to give and wisdom to gain

I am on my journey back to me

 

Leighrick

Good Bye to the Marvins

Knock, Knock

 “Who goes there?”

 Marvin!

I ask, “Marvin who?“, and then the knocking stops…

 I ask, “Is this the same Marvin, who spent his days locked up in that room where everything happened?”

 [Yes]

He’s calling me:

Intoxicated with Regret and High off Pride?

Dressed head to toe in the suit of persuasion with selfish fragrance.

A man sick, because of his cold heart.

A man who lacks guidance, empty, because he lacks soul..

 

[Yes]

 

The one who intrudes up my phone, begging and pleading me?

Disrespecting, the man I maybe with, someone I had hoped for him to be.

Now longing to be reacquainted, because I shortened our relationship and ceased all communication.

 

[Yes]

 

The one who blinded me?

The reason I am no longer able to look into his eyes, and realize potential.

I only see who you are now.

The true intentions in the eyes of this individual.

 

I am peeping through this peephole, with the eyes of the people.

 

Everyone who claims to have known “Love“, heard the bells ringing,

they saw the white fences, gowns, and pictured bands around their fingers.

Until they heard the church bells, and instead knocking on the door, God knocked the walls down.

Reminding you, that you can answer the call and respond to his messages,

but keep in mind he has the wrong message in the texts he’s sent —

You know you accidentally ignore the call, knowing he’s to prideful to apologize,

but the silence of his emotions will leave that voicemail.

 

And it continues…

 

[Marvin’s at the door yelling]

Fuck that new dude that you love so bad!”

 [I’m yelling back]

Fuck you too, for not realizing what you had!

 [Marvin Yells]

“I know you still think about the times we had!”

 [I open the door]

Exactly baby that’s the point, had as in the past.

You are now just a memory…

I’ve put you behind the glass, reminding myself to cherish the experience, but never relive the misery.

I’ve relieved myself of thoughts that you could ever change & will never be honest with yourself nor I.

 

[Slams the door]

Now go back to those females, that play your game.

 [Knock, Knock]

“Who is it?”

[Marvin]: “I’m just saying you could do better — tell me have you heard that lately?

[Me]: To answer your question, yes people have BEEN telling, I can do better…

And I know you’ve been hearing that from other females regularly.

You fell into it.

I haven’t tried —

I’m not able end something I once put my all in, and move onto something new, rejuvenated.

And although I haven’t decided to do better,

the door of opportunity is locked.

 

So now you can sit and continue your addiction of looking at random broads naked pictures, and talking about how you almost had me fooled.

But I’m glad you came knocking on my door; I finally peeped my head through the hole you were digging me.

Otherwise I would never be able to climb out and brush the dirt from those feelings off my chest,

And the saying: “The grass is greener on the other side“….

Might mean a lot more to you.

 

You can keep my heart and that tag around your neck as a memorandum of the things you’ve sacrificed for less.

 

With that said,

Let us have a toast for the Marvins,

and I say

GoodBYE to the Marvins.

 

-Leighrick

Psalms 91

This Morning…

 

This Morning I awoke from a Dream, petrified.

I was sitting in a pew, and was whisked away blindfolded.

 

This Morning…

 

This Morning I awoke from that Dream, petrified.

 

I rose from my slumber, exhausted, confused, and intimidated.

Trying to leave my bed, but it has turned into a swamp.

Drenched in emotions and adrenaline, I drown.

 

This Afternoon…

 

This Afternoon I awoke, and gave truth to the meaning :

“Sleep is the cousin of Death”

I took the leap of faith out of my bed, praying that these wooden floors wouldn’t turn to quick sand.

 

I calm myself.

 

I make myself breakfast for the first time in weeks,

because my brain was suffering from malnutrition.

Not your cliche Food for thought,

but more like the last taste of food before an execution.

 

I ate.

 

Today I woke up with a foreign feeling.

 

It seemed as though God was making a Long Distance phone call to me,

and some how it got intercepted and misinterpreted,

I disconnected myself for all communication, and left the phone off the hook.

Figuring if I silence all my problems, these alien feelings will go back to their homeland of seclusion,

and leave me the hell alone.

 

Only,

My dream became real.

This feelings blinded me with the mirror of my reflection, and like a stork,

they carried me in their mouths and delivered me to the doorsteps of my conflict.

The issues that birthed this misguided monstrosity,

looked down on me,

but like a baby I couldn’t comprehend why I have been apprehended from my tranquility,

a place in which I call home.

 

While present in physicality, yet idle in mind —

The television was no longer poising my mind, but replenishing my conscience.

 

On this journey to meet the problems that created me,

I discover understanding.

 

Something so simple as washing the dishes,

gave knowledge that the things most overlooked consume the biggest life lessons.

 

I stand up and stop kneeling down to these mistakes.

 

I need to regain balance; as the stork was delivering me back to my dormant mind,

it dropped in me a body of water.

 

This afternoon….

 

I awoke leaning up against a wall,

drenched in water, I was cleansing myself of low self-esteem.

As I cleansed my self with a black soaped dove, I felt purity again,

as regret stormed down the drain.

Finished,

The towel, like my love ones soaked up any disbelief of their love for me.

I am clean.

 

I rest.

 

For tonight…

 

Tonight,

The sun is my kiss goodnight.

The birds are my lullaby.

I thought I shut all doors and windows,

but stealthier than the I air breathe,

Insomnia crept up on me and suffocated my pillow with my thoughts.

Wrapped with a blanket of restlessness,

The birds continually ease my soul in to slumber,

and as I fade, the Sun gently kisses my forehead,

My deprivation tucks me in, and I sleep…like a baby,

 

Until a couple of hours pass, and I wake up again

I look out the window, and the Sun has been screaming —

 

I am trying to restore the balance in my life; however right now,

Sleep is not Kin to me; therefore, we’ve become unfamiliar faces.

I just wish these thought clouds of anticipation would precipitate patience.

But,

I cannot just sit around under this umbrella, and wait for dreams to come true.

 

So,

I will reacquaint myself with sleep,

extract love from my dreams,

and deliver myself success

 

 

Beautiful Struggle.

Because the truth is, it doesn’t really matter who I used to be.

Its all about who Ive become. 

 

Next time I will be sure to put my phone on vibrate.

 

-Leighrick

Meet Me at Our Special Place

Are you high right now?

My longing to re-embrace you

seem to want you more when

I’m coming down.

Thought so highly of me because,

I was the one who kept your head up.

When you were at your lowest, I was

Someone and my love was something to look forward to,

Then shit hit the fan, and the air was never really cleared.

Like white-out on a page, you always know what’s there,

but no stranger knows what hides between the lines.

 

Now I’m just another low, and the only one left to look up to now is God,

That’s a circumstance that makes you insecure.

A relationship you need to mend, better yet begin to sew

because only he knows what he has in store for you.

 

You talk the talk,

often read his words,

still rarely set foot to walk the path to speak to him.

You’ve been wondering who you are, and only 2 people know.

 

And —

 

Maybe…

 

Just Maybe…

 

One of them is not me,

 

See I’ve been contemplating the way you think,

and figured…it’s no longer about me.

Don’t get me wrong,I am not selfish, it doesn’t have to be

It never really has been,

I mean..considering all you’ve been through;

I can think of one time, that was when I made the biggest decision of our relationship.

….we’ve seen how that ended.

Do you see where my indecisiveness stems from?

 

So high off the pedestal, I fell low.

A Queen feeling dethroned and alone, so

I am screaming

Nooooooooo“,

Blowing big O’s…

Visually people can witness how empty I am, inside.

 

I feel like a child who moved, and lost their best friend.

Idle mind living, awaiting to be reunited…

Only that now we wont be running into each other again for another 10+ years.

And if its one thing I fear, it’s that in the not so distant future your face wont be so clear.

Instead we’ve stopped playing tag and are now playing catch-up.

Maybe even Hide-N-Go-Seek, because the love we have for one another, we still haven’t been able to control.

Once again, we find ourselves hiding in the shadows of our feelings..

 

I am an emotional slave to myself.

Trapped behind the pearly gates, and not the ones residing in the sky.

A rebellious heart with a timid mind, imprisoned in a body,

I look in the mirror and call mine,

Except when I look through these eyes,

I see an optical illusion

Its me telling myself I am fine, but

If you lived a day with my Soul,

You would understand why this song bird cries.

 

So I ask..

How high were your thoughts of me?

Did your head make it in the clouds?

Because my thoughts of you..

I have to be honest, after all we’ve been through have gone up and down similar to a roller-coaster.

 

However,

The love I am consumed with while thinking about you is beyond our space,

across galaxies, we as humans have yet to discover.

 

So,

When I try to explain the love I have for you, I cant because this feeling has yet to be defined.

It’s stronger than love and not used so loosely.

 

From coast to coast I’d travel,

Except as of late

I don’t have the funds to by a coaster, to sit my cup of coffee on, as I develop a master plan to bring You & I together.

 

With saying all this,

I still don’t think you understand…

I remember you telling me, “everything is just words now“, but

We’re both writers?

 

I thought we were both riders [?]

I’ve been finding out words do have power,

I am trying to be detailed, specific, and complex enough so that no else can figure out this piece,

That is except for you

Maybe not even you.

I am probably just writing this for me

 

You know,

So I can see how I feel on paper, and be justified.

Even though I don’t think its good enough.

Maybe, I simply had to get this off my chest,

because my heart was about to burst through its cages, rip the skin, and jump in my hands

just so it can be comforted.

 

I’m laying on my back, at my lowest but very high.

Thinking about you, thinking about forever, just thinking

Drifting off into dreaming, the only place I would be able to meet you, but lately…

You haven’t been showing up….

-Leighrick