Monthly Archives: October 2013

Curiosity Misery’s Company (09-11-09)

My misery’s curiosity still lies behind these walls.

The yelling and the screaming continues to echo throughout the hallways.

That’s all I’m able to hear.

I don’t think I need glasses anymore, because now I can see straight through people.

Time must be moving quickly, because I feel my hair graying,

My heart aches from the stitches, that aren’t even really mending it back together, there only for show.

My souls still searching for the answers, and the souls of the rest of the lost ones.

They took a piece of me, He snatched the peace from around my neck.

I can only guess my audience is aware of the dramatic irony.

Damn, its been 10 months, and I still cant understand.

The dust has been settled, it has been swept under the rug, but even still this hasn’t become clean to me.

The feelings still linger this just isn’t the place for me to be,

a house is not a home, but I’m just trynna figure out where I’m supposed to be.

Double standards, insecurities, lies, and religion – eventually will become the death of me.

Why did she stop Goliaths hand, what would J–, never mind.

What would you have done in my situation?

He PUSHED and I prayed and still nothing happened.

 Kisses on my forehead could never erase this memory.

I’m just glad to know that I got some people here for me.

I thought it was snowing in hell, when I saw who caused my cell phone to ring.

And now I’m sitting here staring at the ceiling.

 I am Lonely.

 I’m confined to this room, I don’t want to step outside because I feel them watching me.

Cant close my eyes because my brain projects the incident repeatedly upon my eye lids.

I can’t sleep

My stomachs in pain — I can’t eat...

I won’t drink.

I cant think — without hurting & dropping tears left and right.

After this, I don’t think I have any fears, I only live everyday knowing ..

 Fact: People aren’t obligated to you love you.

  -The End.

 –Leighrick

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Phenomenal Woman

For all that you have given me,

I can return but love.

On the days when the sun isn’t shining so bright,

Your smile brightens my world, and glistening in your smile is your heart of gold.

Your eyes caress my uneasiness, letting me know everything will be okay.

How can you know how much you mean to me?

After a number of heartaches, there unconditional love lays.

Blessed I am, for the woman you are, and the one I will become.

Since birth it’s been you & I.

I know I have a lot of siblings,

You share a separate yet special bond with each us.

But lately, I’ve been caught up in this growth between myself and my pride.

I know I haven’t been an easy child, however

I’m just trying to express to you my apologies.

 

I look into your eyes and see the wounds on your soul, your hurt.

I admire what you’ve provided me with.

I am grateful.

 

Anyone can see it in our lives,

The joy each one of us derives,

in just knowing that the other one is there –

To care and understand,

To lend an ear or hold a hand,

And celebrate in the memories and love we share.

 

Mommy,

You’ve passed onto me your elegant attributes.

Beauty,

&

Intelligence.

Your hugs are laced with tender, loving, care.

Your kisses calm down my heart, and give me reassurance that you’ll always be there.

Phenomenal Woman.

Your skin glows, radiant with triumph.

Legendary.

My inspiration to become everything, you know I can be.

You helped to build my mind.

And I want you to know –

The thought of you by me

Makes me smile and give thanks to God for having you in my life.

 

We will be close

Forever, not just for a while.

I appreciate my mother.

 

Gentle yet Strong.

You’ve been patient when I’m foolish;

You give me guidance even when I don’t ask.

Its evident you can do most anything;

A master of every task.

You’ve been my cushion when I fall.

Help in times of trouble.

I love you more than you know,

You have my entirety of respect.

And if God gave me my choice of mothers,

There would be no question,

You’d be the one I would select.

So

Although time is non-directional, it always moves forward.

We have memories to look back on, and I am able to bask in your love.

It’s said,

“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness”

Well it doesn’t just take mother’s day to let you to understand,

That not only are you My Mother, but

A Phenomenal Woman.

 

Love Always,

Leighrick

Healing Young Hearts : Optimistcally Faithful

Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?

 

When the ‘Mom’ is taken out of the ‘My’

and

The only thing left from the’ Daddy’, is ‘Y’.

 

When we can only escape hurt through our dreams,

but we cant decipher why a Disney movie is not like real life,

Why haven’t we received our fairytale ending?

 

Y is he so absent-minded?

 

Its like sometimes he forgets get’s he’s apart of us,

like he harbors some type of animosity towards U & I,

but we are only children.

 

Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?

 

When once familiar faces, soon fade into the distance and become unidentifiable,

but still s huge amount of love resides, in one of the empty spaces of our hearts.

 

Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?

 

When we feel that pain, and nobody can heal it, except the touch of my mother?

 

Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?

 

When they antagonize our matriarch,

Invade our happiness,

and hijack us again…only this time for our Brother.

 

Still,

We haven’t grieved.

 

We paint this picture with watercolor,

because the turmoil of our lives mixed with our tears are full with confusion.

and created a paint so thick, only we retain the brushes to retell our tribulation.

 

And in this picture, we paint ourselves,

 

We’re are anticipating the next visit from our Mommy in our dreams.

We’re awaiting the re-embrace of our brother.

We’re hanging onto the hope that our father, soon realizes we are only innocence duplicates of himself he sees in our face.

 

But we are confused, because others refuse to believe our family is heartbroken.

Yes, we are comforted by our ‘Na-na’, because that is where the unconditional love is everlasting

The Root Our Faith & Strength.

 

You see it?

 

Frame it.

 

So the next time you’re asked,

“Have you ever seen a child’s heart break?”

 

What will you reply?

Because we are only one story, the anguish of one family…

 

Think of all the millions more.

 

With Love,

 –The Heart Broken

 

-Leighrick

Love-o-holics Anonymous

Spear.

Right through the empty cavity.

That’s the similarity between love,

Get caught up in the sweets, you catch a hollow tooth, aka an empty cavity.

Now my tooth’s hollow, like my chest.

What’s the point of having a heart if it’s cold and steadily pumping animosity.

I just wanna down some Pain Killers,

I am sure they can kill these thoughts for me.

Drink a whole 5th to myself, I want to throw up all these memories.

Stick a needle in my vein, just to bring me relief.

I wish I never heard the truth, because I did better when I was blinded by the lies.

I look up wanting to scream.

I can’t sleep,

I wish Freddie was real, walk through my door, and murder me.

That’s only a dream.

I wish you never heard of me.

Love is the nightmare.

I swallowed many fallacies,

That I regurgitated his personality.

Now my guards back up, and my blood is as cold and thin as ice.

The only thing I ever vow to give my all is this pen.

The seasons changed and  in Spring he showed his true colors.

Ironic my Winter was Summer, but this Summer I will most likely Fall victim to my anger.

My hearts been beaten several times before this, what’s the point of attempting restoring it?

Put some alcohol in the wounds.

I can stay aware,

I’m not trying to get played again.

Defense wins championships, I’m never letting love score again…

From now on it’s just:

Me, This Pen, and Time.

Leighrick